Every autumn, little Dusty Shamrock and I have a furry fall tradition.
We have an annual fall photo taken of us. You can view the first five years of Dusty experiencing the best season ever here.
Ironically, this tradition was born out of pain as the first fall photo had been taken on one of the darkest & most painful days of my life. Looking at the picture now, in spite of the facade of the smiling girl staring back at me, I can so clearly remember the sense of shattered dreams and of a heart being broken into a million pieces over an unexpected breakup that had left me reeling. Then, when I view the next year's photo, I recall how I had felt a sense of victory of sorts over being able to heal & move past a broken relationship, marking the one year celebration of survival, and knowing I would be able to move on to bigger and better things down the road.
In recent years, we may have left Pennsylvania and the climate has warmed up some offering differing colors of fall foliage than we were used to but my pup and I continued with our fun tradition. Each autumn, it's fun wondering where the fall snapshot will be taken when the time is right.
Last year, my little niece, just shy of five years old, snapped the annual picture! I giggle when I see how disinterested Dusty Shamrock was in posing last year.
Before my parents departed for home yesterday morning, we swung by the park where I enjoy taking Dusty for walks to get this year's annual fall picture!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Mental Prisons
This past weekend, I had the honor of participating in a prayer chain for a retreat that was happening in Alabama within prison ministry. Those who know me know that this is an area that is meaningful and close to my heart due to my Aunt Maureen's involvement in this much needed, and often forgotten, line of work.
No, I did not go to Alabama this past weekend. I stayed right here in NC. Thanks to new friendships and relationships that were formed through attending the NCSC in Philadelphia literally one month ago to the day, I was invited to join the prayer chain for a Kairos retreat happening in Alabama in which individuals all across the world signed up for half hour time slots to keep the prisoners, those who work in prison ministry, and the retreat volunteers covered in prayer. As luck would have it, our Young Adults (YA) group already had our monthly Adoration/Dinner Out event scheduled for this past Friday evening. So, a few of us signed up for the same time slot that coincided with Adoration after we had dinner with our favorite priest.
As I sat in that chapel on Friday night, I couldn't help but reflect on how some of us live our lives still in prison. Sometimes we get so bogged down by our past actions, sins, and despair, that we are held captive within a vicious cycle of self loathing and unforgiveness. Some of us are held prisoner by our jobs, current circumstances, and others in their lives. We may walk this Earth with our physical freedom but are mentally in prisons. This whole weekend, I kept thinking of what my friend, Deb, said a few years ago, "Don't live your life on pause. Go live it now!" Those are some wise words...but hard to actually carry out at times. Even though I had signed up for the Friday 7:30pm time slot of prayer for the prison ministry retreat, the "men in white" and all those in spiritual combat/prisons were not far from my mind all weekend. As I relished in the time spent with my parents who were in town for the weekend and making Halloween treats with the kiddos, I couldn't help but think of families torn apart by crime, past actions, and unforgiveness. What a privilege it is to have cherished time with loved ones and to be able to get in my car and go to dinner with strong faith-filled friends or to the park to take in this gorgeous fall morning with my pup. If only we could all open our eyes and see God's beauty all around us and look at one another with love rather than hate, what a different world it would be.
Last night at dinner with new friends from church, we shared what we were thankful for before breaking bread. Before it was my turn, I thought of all the things I could say...I'm grateful for mentors at work/school, for my NC family for taking in not only me but my dog, for my parents for their steadfast love/support, for being THISCLOSE to finishing...for second chances....for redemption.....for LIFE. Yet when it was my turn to talk, I surprised myself by saying I was thankful for the lows and dark times. Perhaps it was my subconscious trying to embrace the despair and darkness I'm currently experiencing. So often, it is easy to be thankful and praise God in times of joy but in times of sadness, we focus on why is this happening or why are You not giving me what I'm praying for God? Yet, without the lows, we wouldn't be able to truly enjoy the highs so if this is to be my cross right now, please help me to joyfully carry it. Or at least to not complain as much as I attempt to carry it. We had a truly wonderful evening last night of companionship, delicious food, and making new friendships. There is just something so soothing about being with others who understand you and are on the same journey as you; especially in this day and age when others mock/ridicule/look down on you for your beliefs and faith. It is through God, and fellowship, we are revitalized and sustained....and really good wine doesn't hurt either.
Yesterday afternoon was spent preparing three Halloween desserts, with the assistance of my three older niece and nephews. We made Pumpkin Patch Peanut Butter Cups, Banana Ghost Pops, and a Zombie Eyeball (which I forgot to take a picture of) that I took to the dinner.
As I got ready to go to Chris' house, I saw this prayer card I had given my niece a few years ago. Even though it was a name card for her, the words were very much needed by her aunt yesterday.
As I wrap up my final fall semester in the PhD program, amidst finalizing manuscripts that have been in progress over the last few years, grading my students' work & planning the remaining classes of the semester, drafting my dissertation chapters, and looking for jobs, I have quiet confidence that I will be led to wherever I am to go next...Between this and holding onto Jeremiah 29:11 and aiming to "Be Not Afraid", I put my trust in God. As we listened to Kim Kalman sing after Adoration on Friday night God has seen us stumble and watched us fall, there has been an emptiness inside, but He hears our prayers and in times of temptation, we need to break our stride and turn to God. I'm going to keep doing that, even though it is hard at times especially when friendships are lost and others fall away from your life....
http://www.kimkalman.com/pages/FOTC.html ---> The 9th song, "Till I Turn to You", was playing after Adoration on Friday night. How fitting as we think of areas that may keep us turned away from God/in prison (mentally and physically)
At the end of last night, as we tidied up the kitchen, Chris played beautiful music on his piano in the next room. One of which was "Amazing Grace" that followed, "Be Not Afraid". BNA has been my anthem of sorts since making the decision to come down to NC and I've heard it over the years just when I needed to hear it the most from OBX to Raleigh to right here in High Point. We are never truly alone no matter how much we think we might be and thank God for that!
This morning, while taking in the glorious fall weather as I said goodbye to my parents, I realized that our planning meeting last night was held exactly one month to the day that four of us caravanned to NCSC in PA! Only one month has gone by yet it feels as if it was so long ago due to all that has happened since then. I've not had the chance to blog about it yet but have been pondering the conversations and thoughts that occurred while there in my heart each day since then.
Then, while typing this blog posting, one of my friends from the conference texted me this beautiful passage: The people who walked in darkness have seen great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness on them light has shined - Isaiah 9:12
Yes, there will be light at the end of this dark time and no more captivity. I know it!
No, I did not go to Alabama this past weekend. I stayed right here in NC. Thanks to new friendships and relationships that were formed through attending the NCSC in Philadelphia literally one month ago to the day, I was invited to join the prayer chain for a Kairos retreat happening in Alabama in which individuals all across the world signed up for half hour time slots to keep the prisoners, those who work in prison ministry, and the retreat volunteers covered in prayer. As luck would have it, our Young Adults (YA) group already had our monthly Adoration/Dinner Out event scheduled for this past Friday evening. So, a few of us signed up for the same time slot that coincided with Adoration after we had dinner with our favorite priest.
We were given the names of the prisoners so we could pray for them by name. |
As I sat in that chapel on Friday night, I couldn't help but reflect on how some of us live our lives still in prison. Sometimes we get so bogged down by our past actions, sins, and despair, that we are held captive within a vicious cycle of self loathing and unforgiveness. Some of us are held prisoner by our jobs, current circumstances, and others in their lives. We may walk this Earth with our physical freedom but are mentally in prisons. This whole weekend, I kept thinking of what my friend, Deb, said a few years ago, "Don't live your life on pause. Go live it now!" Those are some wise words...but hard to actually carry out at times. Even though I had signed up for the Friday 7:30pm time slot of prayer for the prison ministry retreat, the "men in white" and all those in spiritual combat/prisons were not far from my mind all weekend. As I relished in the time spent with my parents who were in town for the weekend and making Halloween treats with the kiddos, I couldn't help but think of families torn apart by crime, past actions, and unforgiveness. What a privilege it is to have cherished time with loved ones and to be able to get in my car and go to dinner with strong faith-filled friends or to the park to take in this gorgeous fall morning with my pup. If only we could all open our eyes and see God's beauty all around us and look at one another with love rather than hate, what a different world it would be.
Last night at dinner with new friends from church, we shared what we were thankful for before breaking bread. Before it was my turn, I thought of all the things I could say...I'm grateful for mentors at work/school, for my NC family for taking in not only me but my dog, for my parents for their steadfast love/support, for being THISCLOSE to finishing...for second chances....for redemption.....for LIFE. Yet when it was my turn to talk, I surprised myself by saying I was thankful for the lows and dark times. Perhaps it was my subconscious trying to embrace the despair and darkness I'm currently experiencing. So often, it is easy to be thankful and praise God in times of joy but in times of sadness, we focus on why is this happening or why are You not giving me what I'm praying for God? Yet, without the lows, we wouldn't be able to truly enjoy the highs so if this is to be my cross right now, please help me to joyfully carry it. Or at least to not complain as much as I attempt to carry it. We had a truly wonderful evening last night of companionship, delicious food, and making new friendships. There is just something so soothing about being with others who understand you and are on the same journey as you; especially in this day and age when others mock/ridicule/look down on you for your beliefs and faith. It is through God, and fellowship, we are revitalized and sustained....and really good wine doesn't hurt either.
Yesterday afternoon was spent preparing three Halloween desserts, with the assistance of my three older niece and nephews. We made Pumpkin Patch Peanut Butter Cups, Banana Ghost Pops, and a Zombie Eyeball (which I forgot to take a picture of) that I took to the dinner.
As I got ready to go to Chris' house, I saw this prayer card I had given my niece a few years ago. Even though it was a name card for her, the words were very much needed by her aunt yesterday.
As I wrap up my final fall semester in the PhD program, amidst finalizing manuscripts that have been in progress over the last few years, grading my students' work & planning the remaining classes of the semester, drafting my dissertation chapters, and looking for jobs, I have quiet confidence that I will be led to wherever I am to go next...Between this and holding onto Jeremiah 29:11 and aiming to "Be Not Afraid", I put my trust in God. As we listened to Kim Kalman sing after Adoration on Friday night God has seen us stumble and watched us fall, there has been an emptiness inside, but He hears our prayers and in times of temptation, we need to break our stride and turn to God. I'm going to keep doing that, even though it is hard at times especially when friendships are lost and others fall away from your life....
http://www.kimkalman.com/pages/FOTC.html ---> The 9th song, "Till I Turn to You", was playing after Adoration on Friday night. How fitting as we think of areas that may keep us turned away from God/in prison (mentally and physically)
This morning, while taking in the glorious fall weather as I said goodbye to my parents, I realized that our planning meeting last night was held exactly one month to the day that four of us caravanned to NCSC in PA! Only one month has gone by yet it feels as if it was so long ago due to all that has happened since then. I've not had the chance to blog about it yet but have been pondering the conversations and thoughts that occurred while there in my heart each day since then.
Then, while typing this blog posting, one of my friends from the conference texted me this beautiful passage: The people who walked in darkness have seen great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness on them light has shined - Isaiah 9:12
Yes, there will be light at the end of this dark time and no more captivity. I know it!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Paparazzi!!
In the last twelve months, to my knowledge & surprise, my picture has been in three separate newspaper articles. I wonder if I can get royalties from this "publicity"? Ha!
Check 'em out..!
http://www.catholicnewsherald.com/42-news/rokstories/2666-room-at-the-inn-of-the-triad-holds-fundraiser-banquet?tmpl=component&print=1&page= --- this was a LIFE changing night for me.
http://www.news-record.com/gallery/collection_427ba42a-345a-11e3-b79d-0019bb30f31a.html --- go view the last picture and join me sometime for a FUN Zumba class!!!
http://catholicnewsherald.com/53-news/roknewspager-local/4317-greensboro-pregnancy-care-center-holds-2013-speak-life-banquet --- powerful words were shared this night regarding the Five Love Languages (who wants to buy this book for me as a Christmas gift?) and God's love working through us in our lives. We also listened to this beautiful song (see below).
Check 'em out..!
http://www.catholicnewsherald.com/42-news/rokstories/2666-room-at-the-inn-of-the-triad-holds-fundraiser-banquet?tmpl=component&print=1&page= --- this was a LIFE changing night for me.
http://www.news-record.com/gallery/collection_427ba42a-345a-11e3-b79d-0019bb30f31a.html --- go view the last picture and join me sometime for a FUN Zumba class!!!
http://catholicnewsherald.com/53-news/roknewspager-local/4317-greensboro-pregnancy-care-center-holds-2013-speak-life-banquet --- powerful words were shared this night regarding the Five Love Languages (who wants to buy this book for me as a Christmas gift?) and God's love working through us in our lives. We also listened to this beautiful song (see below).
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Radical Loving
I just saw this quote about losing someone on a friend's wall on Facebook. She is grieving the passing of a good friend so if you could, please send up some prayers.
When I read the quote, however, I thought of all those who have been in my life up until now and regardless of what's separating us right now, whether it be
death,
religion/beliefs,
geographical distance,
misunderstandings,
politics,
time,
money,
life
whatever the case, I think of all those who have impacted my life through their friendship over the last 33 years.
And how I so miss these people. My friendship and love for them have not changed even if they think it has. For the ones who are gone from this Earth way too soon, I look forward to reuniting someday. The thought of rejection, hurt, and people leaving makes it so easy to shut yourself off and to try to keep yourself in a bubble to keep from being hurt by others. I heard a song in Nashville last week that contained the lyric, "I give up on love that I can't afford to lose" which has been on my mind in relation to this blog posting. However, time marches on and it takes work to try to remain vulnerable and open to others instead of isolating yourself; to radically love even if another day goes by of no contact or perhaps feelings of anger or disappointment from the other person. It is almost enough to make you want to compromise and give in to avoid "rocking the boat" but you also can't go back in time to change things. All anyone can do is move forward and pray for acceptance, love, and understanding on all ends.
Here is the quote I referred to at the start of the posting by Annie Lamott -
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
So even if friendships never resume or continue in a different direction, I suppose I can smile and be happy for the memories. We're all companions on the journey; our time here is so fleeting as we journey to our final destination and I can't help but think if how beautiful a world it would be if more radical loving happened!
When I read the quote, however, I thought of all those who have been in my life up until now and regardless of what's separating us right now, whether it be
death,
religion/beliefs,
geographical distance,
misunderstandings,
politics,
time,
money,
life
whatever the case, I think of all those who have impacted my life through their friendship over the last 33 years.
And how I so miss these people. My friendship and love for them have not changed even if they think it has. For the ones who are gone from this Earth way too soon, I look forward to reuniting someday. The thought of rejection, hurt, and people leaving makes it so easy to shut yourself off and to try to keep yourself in a bubble to keep from being hurt by others. I heard a song in Nashville last week that contained the lyric, "I give up on love that I can't afford to lose" which has been on my mind in relation to this blog posting. However, time marches on and it takes work to try to remain vulnerable and open to others instead of isolating yourself; to radically love even if another day goes by of no contact or perhaps feelings of anger or disappointment from the other person. It is almost enough to make you want to compromise and give in to avoid "rocking the boat" but you also can't go back in time to change things. All anyone can do is move forward and pray for acceptance, love, and understanding on all ends.
Here is the quote I referred to at the start of the posting by Annie Lamott -
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
So even if friendships never resume or continue in a different direction, I suppose I can smile and be happy for the memories. We're all companions on the journey; our time here is so fleeting as we journey to our final destination and I can't help but think if how beautiful a world it would be if more radical loving happened!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
One week ago
My brother, Patrick, said it best today when he sent me a text saying,
"Last week at this time, we were at airports".
Yes, one week ago tonight, after having flown in from differing airports/states, Patrick and I were exploring downtown Nashville for the first time & stumbled upon this marker that talked about how North Carolina gave the land we were standing on to TN as a mustering ground where 4000 TN militia were reviewed by Andrew Jackson and Lafayette (of York, PA fame!). How I wish we were back in that charming musical city that we visited for 4 awesome days!!
How cool to read about NC's impact in TN as I wore this shirt. In other news, only 199 days until I'm an NC resident...that is, if I find a job...!!
I hope to someday soon find the time to blog about my recent travels dating as far back as May...yikes! I'm waaaaayy behind on blogging as well as
zumba,
schoolwork,
dissertating,
sleep,
and staying in touch with family & friends.
I've been in a bit of a
I'm workin' on it.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Forgetting what I want
Tonight, I had the pleasure of visiting with my cousins, Billy, Richele, and their cute little baby girl, Sadie. They are passing through from PA on their way to SC. It was nice getting some one-on-one time with them before the children came home. During our chat, I filled Billy and Richele on recent events in my life and the job hunt as I try to find a place not too far from home but would be a good "fit" for me. So how appropriate it was when I saw what was written on the piece of scratch paper I had grabbed from the Bonus Room.
This piece of scratch paper must be left over from a reading study I did last year with a faculty member. We had adapted the story, "How to Eat Fried Worms", and this was the preliminary vocabulary list I had created...haha! I sure hope Billy was not confused as we talked tonight and am hoping that by sending my packet in to a top prospect that I'll be like the early bird in securing the worm and will score an interview! Fingers crossed!!!
As I lay my head down to sleep tonight, let me embrace these in the here and now moments as they're all too fleeting....in less than 7 months, these types of evenings will potentially be a memory and my nights will be quiet and on my own again as I work toward establishing a new normal. Regardless of the outcome of sending in this application packet to one of my top prospects, I borrow words from the CD jacket of one of my favorite Catholic singer/songwriters: "Jesus, let me pray until I forget what I want and replace it with what You want".
I joked with Billy that I should use the St. Patrick's Day address label on the packet...particularly the one that says, "Good Luck", but I opted to be professional instead and use a regular return address label...hehe. As thoughts of moving, interviews, and future jobs clouded my mind, I had to laugh as the children gleefully played without a worry in theirs. Oh, to have such in-the-moment mindsets again!
Mason and Braden in a tangled up jumble |
Nick, Braden, and Sadie Jo...babies everywhere! :) |
Clark is always in motion! |
Saturday, October 12, 2013
October, one of my favorite months, is here!
So I just flipped my calendar from September to October. Yes, it is 10/12. Hey, better late than never eh?
I love my annual Christmas gift from one of my best friends, Ashley. Years ago, she started creating these awesome personalized calendars as Christmas gifts that make me excited for each new month since I never know what pictures she has chosen to go with each one.
I love my annual Christmas gift from one of my best friends, Ashley. Years ago, she started creating these awesome personalized calendars as Christmas gifts that make me excited for each new month since I never know what pictures she has chosen to go with each one.
Seeing these pictures just now as I turned to October in the calendar took me back to previous Fall Breaks. My first Fall Break was spent writing and with my nose buried in books as I tackled a mountain of Stats homework and readings and assignments for my other two classes that semester, Program Eval and Intro to Doctoral Studies. My second Fall Break was much more enjoyable when Ashley and another best friend from college, Monika, came down to visit!! We had a Thirty-One party where they got to meet some of my new friends down here, took in a ghost tour in downtown Greensboro and enjoyed First Friday festivities. Last year, during my third Fall Break, I went to York and stayed with Ashley and visited with Monika and her as we had a fantastic weekend in Baltimore and York taking in Wicked and just enjoying each other's company. This year's Fall Break will find me in Nashville, TN for the first time!
I love fall.
I love October.
I love adventure.
I love fun times with family & friends.
I love pictures & personalized gifts that remind me of those times!
This time of year and seeing the leaves changing always remind me of the fall collages I have in storage at the moment. I have four fall collages I made the year after I finished my Master's degree and had my Saturdays free from attending classes at Kutztown University the previous two years. That Labor Day, while attending the Kipona Arts Festival in 2006, I had admired a photographer's fall collage. I was thisclose to buying it but Ashley and I determined that $40 for it was a bit much. I thought to myself...hey, I could create this myself! Besides, I don't like yellow leaves (which were abundant in the photographer's expensive collage) and would rather a collage that had more red and orange ones in it. So, my fall project that year revolved around taking photos instead of writing a paper or completing a course requirement. Dad and I had driven around on Columbus Day, when we were both off work, and took several shots of the fall foliage in the mountains at home. I added to those pictures ones I took by the Susquehanna River and around Harrisburg, where I was living at the time, when I went on my first motorcycle ride as an adult. The guy I was dating at the time had one and we had fun exploring the mountains near Harrisburg on many October and November Saturdays that season. I also had a few pictures I had taken from my sun roof in my Saturn (RIP 2004 Ion) as I drove from school to school in York so there are pictures from York and Lancaster area in the collage as well. I love that these four fall photos capture so many of the places that helped to shape my mid 20s...such memories the gathering of these fall foliage photos hold for me! I can't wait to hang up those pictures again! For now, my personalized calendar courtesy of Ashley and the artwork from my niece and nephews I do have hanging up in the Bonus Room and at school will suffice.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Blue Sky
It rained all day today. Then, just in time for dinner, it cleared up and began to dry out a bit. On my way to the Greensboro Pregnancy Center fundraiser dinner this evening, I marveled at how you wouldn't know it had rained if you hadn't seen the pouring down rain out the window or heard the splish splash as the thousands of drops pelted the driveway earlier this afternoon.
How much like forgiveness and grace is the rain? We get washed clean each time we seek God's forgiveness yet how quickly we forget and return to our ways. We go away on retreats and are on fire and enthused but then upon return to the real world and daily struggles we may lose some of that passion. We fall off the wagon and say starting tomorrow, we're going to get right back up on that horse and _______________________.....starting tomorrow.
I rediscovered something that has been burning within me for a while now. It has been something I've pushed aside, put a lid on, tucked away into a dusty corner since February or March 2003. Wow, that is over 10 years ago. It has been a long twisted, and at many times a dark, road but I now know that I want, no I need, to be involved at a deeper level with a pregnancy center. It's one thing to help with the advertising, recruiting table hosts, and coordinating and serving as a table host at the annual fundraiser dinner. It is great work attending pro-life marches and rallies and participating in pro-life rosaries outside abortion clinics. Yet my heart has longed for more since taking an active role in all this back in October 2011. When I get to where I am going next, without a doubt, I'm going to give of my time, talent, and love to the local pregnancy center. I want to be on the other side of the door. I want to be the one who greets the women and men with open arms. I want to offer my support; to be the silent friend or give advice when needed; to love and accept them; to hear their stories & share mine if it will help.
When I pulled out of the parking lot tonight, this song was playing...how appropriate! I'll share my notes from Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the 5 Love Languages, (I so need to get that book!!) in another post but these lyrics couldn't have rung more true tonight in conjunction with what I heard during the talk tonight.
How much like forgiveness and grace is the rain? We get washed clean each time we seek God's forgiveness yet how quickly we forget and return to our ways. We go away on retreats and are on fire and enthused but then upon return to the real world and daily struggles we may lose some of that passion. We fall off the wagon and say starting tomorrow, we're going to get right back up on that horse and _______________________.....starting tomorrow.
I rediscovered something that has been burning within me for a while now. It has been something I've pushed aside, put a lid on, tucked away into a dusty corner since February or March 2003. Wow, that is over 10 years ago. It has been a long twisted, and at many times a dark, road but I now know that I want, no I need, to be involved at a deeper level with a pregnancy center. It's one thing to help with the advertising, recruiting table hosts, and coordinating and serving as a table host at the annual fundraiser dinner. It is great work attending pro-life marches and rallies and participating in pro-life rosaries outside abortion clinics. Yet my heart has longed for more since taking an active role in all this back in October 2011. When I get to where I am going next, without a doubt, I'm going to give of my time, talent, and love to the local pregnancy center. I want to be on the other side of the door. I want to be the one who greets the women and men with open arms. I want to offer my support; to be the silent friend or give advice when needed; to love and accept them; to hear their stories & share mine if it will help.
When I pulled out of the parking lot tonight, this song was playing...how appropriate! I'll share my notes from Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the 5 Love Languages, (I so need to get that book!!) in another post but these lyrics couldn't have rung more true tonight in conjunction with what I heard during the talk tonight.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Bloom where you are planted
Today I thought I was going to be in Pennsylvania celebrating a wedding of dear friends.
Instead I am in North Carolina this weekend with a quiet house and brilliant sunshine streaming in through the windows on a warm fall day.
So far this weekend, each time I start down the path of worry, anxiety, and self pity about not being with my friends this weekend, I am forcing myself to dive into my writing, prayer, Catholic fellowship, prayer, writing, and more prayer. So, needless to say a LOT of writing is getting done...Thursday was devoted to polishing up the drafts of my teaching philosophy, mission statement, and cover letter for a position I have discerned would be terrific for me. Fingers crossed I can get my application sent to one of my top picks by the middle of the month. Yesterday found me getting a significant portion of Ch. 5 of my dissertation drafted. So far today I've been able to participate in the pro-life rosary and get caught up with a grandfather-type friend from church. He provided words of wisdom and support as I shared with him some difficult decisions I had to make earlier this week. As we walked back to our cars, I smiled on the inside as he took the curb side of the sidewalk in a true gentlemanly gesture. Then, upon coming home, I was able to have a quick Skype chat with a beloved friend in Christ who has relocated to Colorado before getting back to work on writing. I look forward to going to mass with a new dear friend tomorrow morning. This sort of Catholic fellowship was sorely lacking in my "old" life while living in York in that I had to travel to Lititz, Harrisburg, or beyond for these sort of experiences and I'm so grateful to have this kind of opportunity down here in the south.
In spite of the overwhelming silence and turmoil of the past few days, friends (some as new as last week!) have reached out via text/email/phone calls and for that I'm truly grateful. One new friend's words have stuck with me over the last few days...she said, "Bloom where you are planted" and also wondered if I'm where I currently am because of God pruning me and working with me through my friendships (which reminded me of one of the fabulous talks we had at the conference last weekend). I'm familiar with both of these expressions she used but boy did they hit home for me this past week. As anyone will tell you, I left Pennsylvania kicking and screaming a few short years ago but looking back at the last three years at where I've been and where I am going, I am so grateful for the friendships and personal growth that have ensued as a result of this geographical change. Yes, I miss my friendships at home and my love for them has not changed. I hope they will still welcome me with open arms , as I do them, and we will make more cherished memories in the future. It's funny how we think we have it all figured out but really we don't. There is a reason why circumstance, events, and people come into our lives and we're all continual works in progress as we continue on the journey.
So, I'm going to put my head down and keep walking the race (since I'm not a runner..ha!), one step at a time....I am getting Chapter 5 written 1 paragraph (and 1 Youtube proposal video) at a time this weekend and 15 short weeks from today I will potentially be Dr. Meg...!!!!
Instead I am in North Carolina this weekend with a quiet house and brilliant sunshine streaming in through the windows on a warm fall day.
So far this weekend, each time I start down the path of worry, anxiety, and self pity about not being with my friends this weekend, I am forcing myself to dive into my writing, prayer, Catholic fellowship, prayer, writing, and more prayer. So, needless to say a LOT of writing is getting done...Thursday was devoted to polishing up the drafts of my teaching philosophy, mission statement, and cover letter for a position I have discerned would be terrific for me. Fingers crossed I can get my application sent to one of my top picks by the middle of the month. Yesterday found me getting a significant portion of Ch. 5 of my dissertation drafted. So far today I've been able to participate in the pro-life rosary and get caught up with a grandfather-type friend from church. He provided words of wisdom and support as I shared with him some difficult decisions I had to make earlier this week. As we walked back to our cars, I smiled on the inside as he took the curb side of the sidewalk in a true gentlemanly gesture. Then, upon coming home, I was able to have a quick Skype chat with a beloved friend in Christ who has relocated to Colorado before getting back to work on writing. I look forward to going to mass with a new dear friend tomorrow morning. This sort of Catholic fellowship was sorely lacking in my "old" life while living in York in that I had to travel to Lititz, Harrisburg, or beyond for these sort of experiences and I'm so grateful to have this kind of opportunity down here in the south.
In spite of the overwhelming silence and turmoil of the past few days, friends (some as new as last week!) have reached out via text/email/phone calls and for that I'm truly grateful. One new friend's words have stuck with me over the last few days...she said, "Bloom where you are planted" and also wondered if I'm where I currently am because of God pruning me and working with me through my friendships (which reminded me of one of the fabulous talks we had at the conference last weekend). I'm familiar with both of these expressions she used but boy did they hit home for me this past week. As anyone will tell you, I left Pennsylvania kicking and screaming a few short years ago but looking back at the last three years at where I've been and where I am going, I am so grateful for the friendships and personal growth that have ensued as a result of this geographical change. Yes, I miss my friendships at home and my love for them has not changed. I hope they will still welcome me with open arms , as I do them, and we will make more cherished memories in the future. It's funny how we think we have it all figured out but really we don't. There is a reason why circumstance, events, and people come into our lives and we're all continual works in progress as we continue on the journey.
So, I'm going to put my head down and keep walking the race (since I'm not a runner..ha!), one step at a time....I am getting Chapter 5 written 1 paragraph (and 1 Youtube proposal video) at a time this weekend and 15 short weeks from today I will potentially be Dr. Meg...!!!!
Friday, October 4, 2013
One of my favorites!
Now that it is midnight, it is October 4th, the feast day of my patron saint!!
St. Francis of Assisi pray for us!
Check out the awesome tailor made icon my friend, Britta, created for me! She even inserted little Dusty Shamrock in her artwork. LOVE it!!
If you're interested in this talented artist's work, let me know and I'll get you connected with her. For more information about St. Francis, see below:
Who was Saint Frances of Assisi? (taken from : http://www.st-francis-medal.com/ )
Saint Francis of Assisi was the Founder of the Franciscan Order of Priests and Brothers. He is the Patron Saint of Animals and many cities. His writings are greatly know throughout the world and accepted by all Christian faiths. He is known as the 'brother of peace' and a 'confessor of souls'.
Saint Francis, the son of a wealthy Assisian (Italy) cloth merchant is believed to have been born in 1181 or 1182. His exact birthdate is unknown but he died in Assisi on October 3, 1226. Saint Francis of Assisi Feast Day is October 4 when many commerated his memory, his teaching and writings and his life with special festivals where pets (animals and birds) are blessed.
Born to a large family, Saint Frances was named Giovanni at his baptism but his father later changed his name to Francesco out of fondness.
It is said he was not very studious and his literary education was incomplete. He showed little interest in his father's trade career even though it appears his parents indulged him with everything he wanted. Saint Frances is said to have been very wild in his youth and a lavish spender of his father's money.
St Francis was about twenty years old when he joined townsmen of Assisi in fighting the Perugians. He was taken prisoner and held captive in a cave for more than a year in Perugia. It is said he suffered a fever and during this illness began to think of eternity. But as his health returned he sought a military career and was to join Count Walter of Brienne at war. The night before he was to leave he dreamed of a vast ball of armor marked with the Cross and a voice telling him, "These are for you and your soldiers." Frances eagerly traveled into battle but became ill again and experienced another dream where the same voice bade him to return to Assisi. The year was 1205 and Frances immediately returned to the town of his birth.
From this day Saint Francis gave up his wasteful ways and began to give up his colorful life. One day, while riding across the Umbrian plane on horseback St. Francis encountered a leper and gave that poor man all the money he carried. Soon after he made a pilgrimage to Rome and gave more money to the poor who gathered at the tomb of St. Peter and fasted among the hordes of beggars there.
Shortly after his return to Assisi Francis was praying before the ancient crucifix in the forsaken chapel of San Damiano when he heard a voice saying, "Go, Francis, and repair my house, which as you see is falling into ruin."
Taking these words to heart as instruction to rebuild the chapel he bundled drapery from his father's house and sold his horse to procure enough money to rebuild that church. The friar of the church did not believe his intend was genuine and threw the money back in St. Francis' face. Francis' father was so incensed by his actions, Francis hid from him in a cave for a month. When Francis returned to Assisi, emaciated with hunger and filthy, the people of the town mocked him and called him a madman. His father finally dragged him home, beat him and locked him in a dark closet.
St. Francis mother freed him. He returned to San Damiano and this time the priest provided him shelter but he was soon cited before the city consul by his father. Francis' father sought to relieve St. Francis of his inheritance. However, having entered the service of God, Saint Francis was no longer under his father's jurisdiction. He stripped himself of his clothes and all his worldly goods and handing them to his father declared his desire to serve "only Our Father in Heaven".
Francis wandered into the woods where he was attacked by robbers who took all he had and threw him in a snow drift. Naked and half frozen Francis managed to seek shelter at a neighboring monastery where he worked as a scullion for a time.
In the town of Gubbio he was given clothes and the staff of a pilgrim from a friend. He returned to San Damiano yet again and this time gathered stones, begging them if he must, and rebuilt that small church by his own hand. He also rebuilt the deserted chapels of St. Peter's, some distance from Assisi and St. Mary of the Angels in a place called the Portiuncula.
One day after mass at St. Mary of the Angels where the Gospel spoke of throwing away all of one's worldly goods, Frances took those words to heart and literally threw away all of his possessions. He obtained a woolen tunic the 'color of the beast', worn by the poorest Umbrian peasants and tied the waist with a knotted rope. He began to travel the countryside imploring people to do penance and to practice brotherly love and peace. The Assisians who had once scorned him now began to join his cause. His followers built themselves small huts near the Porziuncola and began to dress as St. Francis. They embraced poverty and soon became known as "the penitents of poverty."
Tho at first skeptical Pope Innocent III gave verbal sanction to for this new order. Before leaving Rome, the new Franciscans received the ecclesiastical tonsure. Francis was ordained deacon later on.
After their return to Assisi, the Friars Minor, as Francis named his brethren - either after the minores (or lower classes),or as some believe, with reference to the Gospel (Matthew 25:40-45), as a perpetual reminder of their humility - Around 1211 the friars, through the generosity of the Benedictines of Monte Subasio, were given the little chapel of St Mary of the Angels or the Portiuncula which became the cradle of the Franciscan Order (Caput et Mater Ordinis) and the central spot in the life of St Francis, the Friars Minor. Yet the first fiars traveled, singing their joy and calling themselves the Lord's minstrels, entertaining people, imploring peace and sleeping in haylofts of grottos.
During Lent in 1212 the friars were joined by Clare, a young heiress of Assisi. Just eighteen years old Clare secretly left her father's house and with two companions went to the Porziuncola where the friars met her in procession carrying torches. There, Francis cut her hair, clothed her in the habit and received her into a life of poverty, penance and seclusion. St. Clare and her sister St. Agnes and other pious maidens who joined them were the first in the Second Franciscan Order of Poor Ladies, today know as the 'Poor Clares'.
About this time (1213) Francis received from Count Orlando of Chiusi the mountain of La Verna, an isolated peak among the Tuscan Apennines, rising some 4000 feet above the valley of the Casentino, as a retreat.
In 1214 Francis of Assisi set out for Morocco, in another attempt to reach the infidels and, if needs be, to shed his blood for the Gospel, but while yet in Spain was overtaken by so severe an illness that he was compelled to turn back to Italy once more. Authentic details are unfortunately lacking of Francis's journey to Spain eighteen months thereafter were the most obscure of the saint's life
Saint Francis was present at the death of Innocent II in Perugia during July 1216. It is said while Francis prayed at the Portiuncula, Christ appeared to him and offered him whatever favor he might desire. Francis wished to make his beloved Portiuncula a sanctuary where many might be saved. He begged a plenary Indulgence for all who, having confessed their sins, should visit the little chapel. Our Lord acceded to this request on condition that the pope should ratify the Indulgence. Shortly afterwards, the pontificate of Honorius III, placed the concession of the famous Portiuncula Indulgence.
St Francis of Assisi went to Rome and preached before the pope and cardinals during 1217-18. It was during that time St. Francis is said to have met with St Dominic who created the Holy Rosary. The year 1218 Francis devoted to missionary tours in Italy preaching out of doors, in the market-places, from church steps, from the walls of castle court- yards. During this time St. Francis devised his Third Order of the Brothers and Sisters of Penance.
During Christmas time of 1223 St. Francis conceived the idea of reproducing the scene of Christ's birth in Bethlehem inside a church at Greccio; thus, Saint Frances created the first Nativity Scene. Live animals were used in the scene and the hay from the manger was kept. That hay was later fed to sick animals in the area and those animals were made well.
The Stigmata of Saint Frances appeared in 1224 during the time he and other brothers went to retreat at the mount of La Verna keeping a forty day fast in preparation for Michaelmas (the feast of Michael the Archangel). He was praying on the mountainside when St. Francis in ecstasy beheld a vision of the 'seraph' or the visible marks of the five wounds of the Crucified Christ. Brother Leo, who was present, described Saint Francis' right side as bearing on open wound
appearing as if struck by a lance. His hands and feet bore black nails of flesh with the points bent backward.
Afterward during the final two years of his life, St. Francis' strength gave way completely, and at times he was nearly blind. During a last visit to St Clare at St. Damian's, the saint composed that 'Canticle of the Sun'.
St Francis of Assisi death occurred on October 3, 1226 in Porziuncola.
St. Francis of Assisi tomb lies in the Basilica of Saint Francis in Assisi, Italy. St. Frances of Assisi's relics were exhumed in 1818. In 1939 Pope Pius XII declared Saint Frances of Assisi Patron of Italy. St. Frances is also Patron Saint of Animals. His most animal story would be St. Frances and the wolf where he tamed a wolf to protect the town of Gubbio. There are many St. Francis stories written in The Little Flowers of Saint Frances by Brother Ugolino.
St. Francis of Assisi pray for us!
Check out the awesome tailor made icon my friend, Britta, created for me! She even inserted little Dusty Shamrock in her artwork. LOVE it!!
If you're interested in this talented artist's work, let me know and I'll get you connected with her. For more information about St. Francis, see below:
Who was Saint Frances of Assisi? (taken from : http://www.st-francis-medal.com/ )
Saint Francis of Assisi was the Founder of the Franciscan Order of Priests and Brothers. He is the Patron Saint of Animals and many cities. His writings are greatly know throughout the world and accepted by all Christian faiths. He is known as the 'brother of peace' and a 'confessor of souls'.
Saint Francis, the son of a wealthy Assisian (Italy) cloth merchant is believed to have been born in 1181 or 1182. His exact birthdate is unknown but he died in Assisi on October 3, 1226. Saint Francis of Assisi Feast Day is October 4 when many commerated his memory, his teaching and writings and his life with special festivals where pets (animals and birds) are blessed.
Born to a large family, Saint Frances was named Giovanni at his baptism but his father later changed his name to Francesco out of fondness.
It is said he was not very studious and his literary education was incomplete. He showed little interest in his father's trade career even though it appears his parents indulged him with everything he wanted. Saint Frances is said to have been very wild in his youth and a lavish spender of his father's money.
St Francis was about twenty years old when he joined townsmen of Assisi in fighting the Perugians. He was taken prisoner and held captive in a cave for more than a year in Perugia. It is said he suffered a fever and during this illness began to think of eternity. But as his health returned he sought a military career and was to join Count Walter of Brienne at war. The night before he was to leave he dreamed of a vast ball of armor marked with the Cross and a voice telling him, "These are for you and your soldiers." Frances eagerly traveled into battle but became ill again and experienced another dream where the same voice bade him to return to Assisi. The year was 1205 and Frances immediately returned to the town of his birth.
From this day Saint Francis gave up his wasteful ways and began to give up his colorful life. One day, while riding across the Umbrian plane on horseback St. Francis encountered a leper and gave that poor man all the money he carried. Soon after he made a pilgrimage to Rome and gave more money to the poor who gathered at the tomb of St. Peter and fasted among the hordes of beggars there.
Shortly after his return to Assisi Francis was praying before the ancient crucifix in the forsaken chapel of San Damiano when he heard a voice saying, "Go, Francis, and repair my house, which as you see is falling into ruin."
Taking these words to heart as instruction to rebuild the chapel he bundled drapery from his father's house and sold his horse to procure enough money to rebuild that church. The friar of the church did not believe his intend was genuine and threw the money back in St. Francis' face. Francis' father was so incensed by his actions, Francis hid from him in a cave for a month. When Francis returned to Assisi, emaciated with hunger and filthy, the people of the town mocked him and called him a madman. His father finally dragged him home, beat him and locked him in a dark closet.
St. Francis mother freed him. He returned to San Damiano and this time the priest provided him shelter but he was soon cited before the city consul by his father. Francis' father sought to relieve St. Francis of his inheritance. However, having entered the service of God, Saint Francis was no longer under his father's jurisdiction. He stripped himself of his clothes and all his worldly goods and handing them to his father declared his desire to serve "only Our Father in Heaven".
Francis wandered into the woods where he was attacked by robbers who took all he had and threw him in a snow drift. Naked and half frozen Francis managed to seek shelter at a neighboring monastery where he worked as a scullion for a time.
In the town of Gubbio he was given clothes and the staff of a pilgrim from a friend. He returned to San Damiano yet again and this time gathered stones, begging them if he must, and rebuilt that small church by his own hand. He also rebuilt the deserted chapels of St. Peter's, some distance from Assisi and St. Mary of the Angels in a place called the Portiuncula.
One day after mass at St. Mary of the Angels where the Gospel spoke of throwing away all of one's worldly goods, Frances took those words to heart and literally threw away all of his possessions. He obtained a woolen tunic the 'color of the beast', worn by the poorest Umbrian peasants and tied the waist with a knotted rope. He began to travel the countryside imploring people to do penance and to practice brotherly love and peace. The Assisians who had once scorned him now began to join his cause. His followers built themselves small huts near the Porziuncola and began to dress as St. Francis. They embraced poverty and soon became known as "the penitents of poverty."
Tho at first skeptical Pope Innocent III gave verbal sanction to for this new order. Before leaving Rome, the new Franciscans received the ecclesiastical tonsure. Francis was ordained deacon later on.
After their return to Assisi, the Friars Minor, as Francis named his brethren - either after the minores (or lower classes),or as some believe, with reference to the Gospel (Matthew 25:40-45), as a perpetual reminder of their humility - Around 1211 the friars, through the generosity of the Benedictines of Monte Subasio, were given the little chapel of St Mary of the Angels or the Portiuncula which became the cradle of the Franciscan Order (Caput et Mater Ordinis) and the central spot in the life of St Francis, the Friars Minor. Yet the first fiars traveled, singing their joy and calling themselves the Lord's minstrels, entertaining people, imploring peace and sleeping in haylofts of grottos.
During Lent in 1212 the friars were joined by Clare, a young heiress of Assisi. Just eighteen years old Clare secretly left her father's house and with two companions went to the Porziuncola where the friars met her in procession carrying torches. There, Francis cut her hair, clothed her in the habit and received her into a life of poverty, penance and seclusion. St. Clare and her sister St. Agnes and other pious maidens who joined them were the first in the Second Franciscan Order of Poor Ladies, today know as the 'Poor Clares'.
About this time (1213) Francis received from Count Orlando of Chiusi the mountain of La Verna, an isolated peak among the Tuscan Apennines, rising some 4000 feet above the valley of the Casentino, as a retreat.
In 1214 Francis of Assisi set out for Morocco, in another attempt to reach the infidels and, if needs be, to shed his blood for the Gospel, but while yet in Spain was overtaken by so severe an illness that he was compelled to turn back to Italy once more. Authentic details are unfortunately lacking of Francis's journey to Spain eighteen months thereafter were the most obscure of the saint's life
Saint Francis was present at the death of Innocent II in Perugia during July 1216. It is said while Francis prayed at the Portiuncula, Christ appeared to him and offered him whatever favor he might desire. Francis wished to make his beloved Portiuncula a sanctuary where many might be saved. He begged a plenary Indulgence for all who, having confessed their sins, should visit the little chapel. Our Lord acceded to this request on condition that the pope should ratify the Indulgence. Shortly afterwards, the pontificate of Honorius III, placed the concession of the famous Portiuncula Indulgence.
St Francis of Assisi went to Rome and preached before the pope and cardinals during 1217-18. It was during that time St. Francis is said to have met with St Dominic who created the Holy Rosary. The year 1218 Francis devoted to missionary tours in Italy preaching out of doors, in the market-places, from church steps, from the walls of castle court- yards. During this time St. Francis devised his Third Order of the Brothers and Sisters of Penance.
During Christmas time of 1223 St. Francis conceived the idea of reproducing the scene of Christ's birth in Bethlehem inside a church at Greccio; thus, Saint Frances created the first Nativity Scene. Live animals were used in the scene and the hay from the manger was kept. That hay was later fed to sick animals in the area and those animals were made well.
The Stigmata of Saint Frances appeared in 1224 during the time he and other brothers went to retreat at the mount of La Verna keeping a forty day fast in preparation for Michaelmas (the feast of Michael the Archangel). He was praying on the mountainside when St. Francis in ecstasy beheld a vision of the 'seraph' or the visible marks of the five wounds of the Crucified Christ. Brother Leo, who was present, described Saint Francis' right side as bearing on open wound
appearing as if struck by a lance. His hands and feet bore black nails of flesh with the points bent backward.
Afterward during the final two years of his life, St. Francis' strength gave way completely, and at times he was nearly blind. During a last visit to St Clare at St. Damian's, the saint composed that 'Canticle of the Sun'.
St Francis of Assisi death occurred on October 3, 1226 in Porziuncola.
St. Francis of Assisi tomb lies in the Basilica of Saint Francis in Assisi, Italy. St. Frances of Assisi's relics were exhumed in 1818. In 1939 Pope Pius XII declared Saint Frances of Assisi Patron of Italy. St. Frances is also Patron Saint of Animals. His most animal story would be St. Frances and the wolf where he tamed a wolf to protect the town of Gubbio. There are many St. Francis stories written in The Little Flowers of Saint Frances by Brother Ugolino.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
It's hard being a Catholic in this day & age sometimes...
but I love my faith and will always be a Catholic gal. As Pope Francis points out in the quote below life will not be easy. There will be times when culture, society, the government, & others will try to belittle, hate, mock, ridicule, or look down on my religion and/or me. The media will continue to take quotes from Pope Francis out of context and applying them to their situations. I will be told I'm unaccepting and unopen of others but I will continue to pray and love them anyway. We are all sinners; a fallen race. However, with the support of family and friends, the love of Jesus, and the Truth, we can and I will keep on keepin' on....The path to sanctification is rarely a smooth one. As a friend shared recently, "Christ remains the same amidst a passing world of change".
This picture was shared by my friend, Joseph, at St. Anthony of Padua Church in Lancaster, PA....Love this depiction of the Good Shepherd!! |
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Crashes & blessings
On the way home tonight, as I glided to a stop at the intersection right beside my brother's house, I watched as an SUV sitting at the stop sign in front of me was hit by a smaller car. The air bags in both cards deployed, bumpers fell off, oil started gushing out of the engine, and lights were busted. As I parked my car on the shoulder and walked toward the elderly folks who were emerging from the vehicles, I felt as if I were in an out of body experience. My mind was racing but outwardly, I was calm and deliberate as I slowly walked up to the cars. All I could think of was that horrible June 19th evening a few summers ago when my car was unexpectedly totaled as a friend drove it on our way to Texas. I remember how, immediately after it happened, as we waited for the police and ambulance, all I had wanted were my parents to be there and to be home with them but I was all the way in Alabama with all sorts of decisions that had to be made and quickly at that. I also remember being very thirsty and wanting a place to sit as the rain started to fall and we had to quickly unload 3 girls' luggage and all the other things I stored in my car.
So, as I approached these folks, I don't know what I planned on doing. I am not very good at dealing with blood and other first aid/cpr type situations. I am not one to get in the "middle of it all" but I felt compelled to try to help if I could. I didn't have a plan to say anything or exactly know what to do. Another passerby was running from car to car checking on folks and the police were already called. What I wasn't prepared for, as I approached the accident on foot, was the sportscar that had also been hit, spun several times like a top, and then had flown into a ditch in a thicket of woods. The man, who looked to be in his 30s or 40s stumbled out of his car in a daze, fell into the grass, pulled himself up, was trembling, then lay down on the gravel with his head in his hands. At first I thought he might be drunk since he was mumbling incoherently and shaking so but then I realized he was in shock and reacting to all that had just happened. His arm and hand appeared to be broken and immediately began to swell.
As I moved from one car to another before stopping to check on the elderly woman who was alone in her car, she asked me to help her find her insurance cards. She was obviously in shock and disbelief and needed assistance calling her son. I couldn't help but notice she had the same booster seat that is in my back seat for my niece and I said a quick prayer of thanksgiving no children were involved in this accident. Before long, the first responders were at the scene, thereby trapping my car among the fire trucks and ambulances but I didn't mind since I wasn't going anywhere. I had already been feeling a profound sense of sadness over other factors in my life in the last few days and this accident just added another layer of despair.
However, in spite of the injured young man and completely destroyed car buried deep in the embankment wedged next to a pole in front of the trees, the badly shaken up elderly woman who didn't remember I had gently handed her the insurance cards, and the elderly couple who kept saying how new their car was and how did this happen because we weren't even going anywhere since we were at a stop at the stop sign, I felt a sense of thankfulness because all of the folks involved in the accident were alive and were moving around the scene. At one point, I called my brother and asked him to bring water and paper towels. He came by a few minutes later with the supplies, just after the first responders came to the scene. I felt so helpless but at least the water could be used to wash off the blood on the elderly man's hand and the wife could quench some of her thirst. There was nothing left to do once the first responders came so I made small talk with the woman as she told me about her daughter and son-in-law and her job before she retired. Once she and her husband began talking to the police officer, I stood off to the side and silently prayed half a decade of the rosary before the woman came over to talk with me again. Let us all keep these folks and their families in our prayers; I know I plan to finish offering up a rosary for them before bedtime tonight.
In spite of being able to provide some sort of distraction for the woman through conversation, what I really wanted to do was give the couple the St. Christopher prayer card I usually have on my visor in my car. As I thought about going back to get the prayer card, I remembered that I had given it away in the spring. Last March, as I returned to NC from York, I had stumbled upon an accident just over the MD/VA border that had occurred in front of a roadside stand where I always stop to give Dusty a quick walk and to buy some yummy kettle corn. I pulled in as the traffic was being rerouted and took Dusty out for a quick walk as I observed the tow truck clearing the last of the wrecked vehicle. It didn't take long to piece together a young girl had been the driver of the car as her Dad moved things from the damaged vehicle to his. Then, I saw the mother standing off to the side trying to keep it together. She looked like she could use a friend so Dusty and I wandered up to her. I had the card in my pocket (why I grabbed it from the visor as I exited the car I don't know). Dusty walked up to the woman's feet and wagged his tail at her. She glanced down and smiled then asked to pick him up....to which I of course said yes. With Dusty Shamrock nestled in her arms, she worriedly told me how she and her husband received the call from their daughter saying to come quick there was an accident. I don't know how many cars had been involved since I had pulled up at the tail end portion of cleaning it up but the Mom was holding back tears as she said how grateful she was her daughter was okay even if the car wasn't. I told her of my experience and that even if they can't see it now amidst the endless insurance calls, car shopping, making their money stretch, they will some day look back on this Sunday morning and be thankful it wasn't worse. The woman agreed saying how thankful she was that her daughter was able to call them and it wasn't someone else having to make the call...or worse. I felt compelled to give her the St. Christopher prayer card then because you see, even though the daughter didn't make it to her destination, she did have a safe trip even if the car had to be replaced. The woman gave me a hug and thanked me when she read the words on the prayer card so I felt it had been okay to give it to her.
Reflecting on the words in the Motorist's Prayer, it took me weeks, if not months, before I was able to come to that realization during my own accident that involved a Dodge Ram plowing into the back of my stopped Saturn as a friend was about to turn left and pull it into our resting place for the night.
At the time, all I could think of was how
I couldn't afford a new (used) car,
how unfair it was that I wasn't going to get down to Texas to see friends & family,
how much my neck/shoulders/back hurt,
and I didn't have time to deal with all this when trying to work on portfolio artifacts and babysit, etc.
However, looking back, many blessings did come out of that experience and I hope along with healing, the folks in that accident and the one I saw tonight are able to feel a sense of comfort in knowing they were spared and protected, even if their cars weren't.
So, as I approached these folks, I don't know what I planned on doing. I am not very good at dealing with blood and other first aid/cpr type situations. I am not one to get in the "middle of it all" but I felt compelled to try to help if I could. I didn't have a plan to say anything or exactly know what to do. Another passerby was running from car to car checking on folks and the police were already called. What I wasn't prepared for, as I approached the accident on foot, was the sportscar that had also been hit, spun several times like a top, and then had flown into a ditch in a thicket of woods. The man, who looked to be in his 30s or 40s stumbled out of his car in a daze, fell into the grass, pulled himself up, was trembling, then lay down on the gravel with his head in his hands. At first I thought he might be drunk since he was mumbling incoherently and shaking so but then I realized he was in shock and reacting to all that had just happened. His arm and hand appeared to be broken and immediately began to swell.
As I moved from one car to another before stopping to check on the elderly woman who was alone in her car, she asked me to help her find her insurance cards. She was obviously in shock and disbelief and needed assistance calling her son. I couldn't help but notice she had the same booster seat that is in my back seat for my niece and I said a quick prayer of thanksgiving no children were involved in this accident. Before long, the first responders were at the scene, thereby trapping my car among the fire trucks and ambulances but I didn't mind since I wasn't going anywhere. I had already been feeling a profound sense of sadness over other factors in my life in the last few days and this accident just added another layer of despair.
However, in spite of the injured young man and completely destroyed car buried deep in the embankment wedged next to a pole in front of the trees, the badly shaken up elderly woman who didn't remember I had gently handed her the insurance cards, and the elderly couple who kept saying how new their car was and how did this happen because we weren't even going anywhere since we were at a stop at the stop sign, I felt a sense of thankfulness because all of the folks involved in the accident were alive and were moving around the scene. At one point, I called my brother and asked him to bring water and paper towels. He came by a few minutes later with the supplies, just after the first responders came to the scene. I felt so helpless but at least the water could be used to wash off the blood on the elderly man's hand and the wife could quench some of her thirst. There was nothing left to do once the first responders came so I made small talk with the woman as she told me about her daughter and son-in-law and her job before she retired. Once she and her husband began talking to the police officer, I stood off to the side and silently prayed half a decade of the rosary before the woman came over to talk with me again. Let us all keep these folks and their families in our prayers; I know I plan to finish offering up a rosary for them before bedtime tonight.
In spite of being able to provide some sort of distraction for the woman through conversation, what I really wanted to do was give the couple the St. Christopher prayer card I usually have on my visor in my car. As I thought about going back to get the prayer card, I remembered that I had given it away in the spring. Last March, as I returned to NC from York, I had stumbled upon an accident just over the MD/VA border that had occurred in front of a roadside stand where I always stop to give Dusty a quick walk and to buy some yummy kettle corn. I pulled in as the traffic was being rerouted and took Dusty out for a quick walk as I observed the tow truck clearing the last of the wrecked vehicle. It didn't take long to piece together a young girl had been the driver of the car as her Dad moved things from the damaged vehicle to his. Then, I saw the mother standing off to the side trying to keep it together. She looked like she could use a friend so Dusty and I wandered up to her. I had the card in my pocket (why I grabbed it from the visor as I exited the car I don't know). Dusty walked up to the woman's feet and wagged his tail at her. She glanced down and smiled then asked to pick him up....to which I of course said yes. With Dusty Shamrock nestled in her arms, she worriedly told me how she and her husband received the call from their daughter saying to come quick there was an accident. I don't know how many cars had been involved since I had pulled up at the tail end portion of cleaning it up but the Mom was holding back tears as she said how grateful she was her daughter was okay even if the car wasn't. I told her of my experience and that even if they can't see it now amidst the endless insurance calls, car shopping, making their money stretch, they will some day look back on this Sunday morning and be thankful it wasn't worse. The woman agreed saying how thankful she was that her daughter was able to call them and it wasn't someone else having to make the call...or worse. I felt compelled to give her the St. Christopher prayer card then because you see, even though the daughter didn't make it to her destination, she did have a safe trip even if the car had to be replaced. The woman gave me a hug and thanked me when she read the words on the prayer card so I felt it had been okay to give it to her.
Reflecting on the words in the Motorist's Prayer, it took me weeks, if not months, before I was able to come to that realization during my own accident that involved a Dodge Ram plowing into the back of my stopped Saturn as a friend was about to turn left and pull it into our resting place for the night.
At the time, all I could think of was how
I couldn't afford a new (used) car,
how unfair it was that I wasn't going to get down to Texas to see friends & family,
how much my neck/shoulders/back hurt,
and I didn't have time to deal with all this when trying to work on portfolio artifacts and babysit, etc.
However, looking back, many blessings did come out of that experience and I hope along with healing, the folks in that accident and the one I saw tonight are able to feel a sense of comfort in knowing they were spared and protected, even if their cars weren't.