Novemberisms 2013

Last year, I took part in the daily day of thanks chain during the month of November and enjoyed it so much that I did it again this past year. I didn't save these as I posted them on Facebook so unfortunately, was unable to copy/paste all of them here since I couldn't find all of them but hoe you enjoy the highlighted ones I was able to retrieve.  What are you thankful for during this holiday season??

Day 4: I appreciate Skype~In the last week alone, I have been able to connect with friends in Chicago, California, Denver, & Pennsylvania and even got to "meet" a super cute little baby. What a wonderful tool to connect us across the miles!!

Day 5: As this long day of grading continues, I am grateful for artistic and creative students who are effectively and accurately sharing the information they have learned in class so far..... Yes!!! — feeling satisfied.

 

 Day 8: As I settle in for another long day of writing, Dusty Shamrock has assumed position amidst the piles and is keeping my feet warm. This picture is from last week when we wrote in the mountains. I am thankful for my furry sidekick who makes the long writing hours a bit more cuddly. On to being able to send my Ch 5 draft to my advisor by midnight. I think I can, I think I can....


 
 

Day 9: Having just completed an update on dissertation progress on my fundraising page I'm grateful for each one of you and the parts (no matter how small~you are a very important part of this process) you played from start of the study to now and then some....they say it takes a village...yes, it takes a SPARTAN village (GO UNCG!). — feeling grateful.

Day 19: Sooo thankful for the original men in my life aka my brothers. From Patrick sending me a link to an incredible performance of my favorite Dawes song last week to Brian inviting me to ditch schoolwork last night to watch a Vince Vaughn movie (he had me at Vince) to Mark (and his son...see the resemblance??!) checking in on me via Skype last night, I am one lucky and thankful gal to have these three boys in my life.

Day 24: Today concludes the Year of Faith per Pope Benedict. Looking back on the last year, I'm thankful for the leaps & bounds I've experienced since October 2012; I suppose I should also embrace the dark and low times felt since then as well. Looking at today's date, I also realize that today is exactly TWO MONTHS months from the "Big D". I'm thankful for having a bare bones skeletal 25 slide outline, as of bedtime last night, of the powerpoint presentation for my dissertation defense. It's all getting so real now!

Day 25: I know I've shared this before...but haven't been able to get it out of my head since hearing a beautiful rendition of it yesterday morning at mass. Thankful for inspirational music (and the reason behind the music) to help you get through life. 

Who Am I - Casting Crowns (w/ lyrics) 

Day 26: Sometimes it's the small things that are the best; a rescheduled lunch and great conversation w/ a friend you've not seen in forever, an unexpected surprise in the mail, the fun in being a "messenger" for an almost birthday boy, & progress toward a final draft of the ol' dissertation. Today I'm thankful for the sunshine-y moments that bring a smile on a cold, dreary, rainy day. 

Day 27: As I head to my PA/DE/MA family tonight I'm thankful for my NC (biological, church, & school) family. 

Day 29: Thankful for a relaxing Thanksgiving Day with family at home especially with my niece in our not planned matching outfits. I wonder if Mason Noelle will continue being the only girl (like me) or if her new cousin from Uncle Mark and Aunt Liz in March will be a girl?!

 

Day 30: On this final day of thanks, other than being thankful for the opportunity to participate in this 30 day challenge, I'm happy that the semester is nearly over and break is right around the corner. There were two Professor Kemmery instructors this past semester: one at Shippensburg University and one at UNCG. I think I speak for my SIL when I say we both are looking forward to being able to spend our time on other things (even though we both love teaching).

  

Fourth Publication!

Last week I got my hands on this bright red journal.

The color makes me think of my Dad since it's his favorite color. 

It even reminds me of Christmas since red and green decorations are out in full force with Christmas being a mere 17 days from today.

However, what's special about this particular issue of this journal is that my fourth publication is in it!

Seeing this in black and white, actually printed in a journal, reminds me of the hard work in creating the math materials, all the driving around I did helping to carry out the research in the schools (one particular day I forgot to turn off my lights in my car which eventually led to having to buy a new car battery..not fun!), as well as the hours and long nights spent writing.  Last Thanksgiving, when we celebrated Thanksgiving at my little brother's house in Delaware, I stayed up all night to work on the graphs that you can see on page 486 after spending the whole day in the clubhouse writing.

What a sense of pride (and relief) I feel in knowing this is complete...yay!

http://daddcec.org/Publications/ETADDJournal/ETDDDetailsPage/tabid/80/ArticleID/703/Building-the-Early-Numeracy-Skills-of-Students-with-Moderate-Intellectual-Disability.aspx

Jimenez, B.A. & Kemmery, M.  (2013).  Building the early numeracy skills of students with moderate intellectual disability.  Education and Training in Autism and Developmental Disabilities, 48, 479-490.

 

Fiat!

Have you ever had one of those days when coincidences, or Godincidences as I like to call them, happen all day long???

That was yesterday for me. I have been participating in daily Advent reflections with a friend each night.  One of the reflection pieces contained a quote from Mother Teresa and prompted me to look up the blog posting I had written in early October when I had posted the Martina McBride song that reminds me of Mother Teresa for my friend to listen to...in doing so, I saw this image that I had also posted in that same blog posting.

 

 The caption for the picture was this:  This picture was shared by my friend, Joseph, at St. Anthony of Padua Church in Lancaster, PA....Love this depiction of the Good Shepherd!!

When I saw this photo, and the caption, I got chills.  

For yesterday, when all this occurred, was the 7th anniversary of my friend's beautiful mom passing away in a car accident.

Likewise, the last few nights the Advent readings/gospels have used the imagery of Jesus as our shepherd.  It was then that I recalled at mass an hour earlier, we had sung the song, "Like a Shepherd", and as if that weren't enough, Adam remembered a picture we had looked at the night before:

 A Nativity Scene was erected in a church yard. During the night, someone came across this. An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable, protected place to sleep. He chose baby Jesus as his comfort. No one had the heart to send him away so he was there all night. We should all have the good sense of this dog and curl up in Jesus' lap from time to time. This is too sweet not to share. No one mentioned that the dog breed is a "shepherd!" This pooch was later rescued by a church member. 

I recall seeing this story last year but it's still appropriate today.  Not only does the pup remind me of our puppy growing up who was named, Shep, but it reminds me of how we need to look beyond or outside ourselves.  It's so easy to get bogged down and trapped in our own limited worldviews and to not see the suffering neighbor right next to us or the person we can help at work or how a little can go a long way in our interactions with others.  My prayer is to help shepherd me beyond my wants or desires and to be open to God's will, much like the lyrics in one of my favorite church hymns.  Is it a coincidence I'm thinking of these things today, the traditional date of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, that personally reminds me of seeking to embrace God's will as Mary did?  I think not...perhaps a Godincidence though! 

So....the Godincidences don't stop there.  I just searched for a video on Youtube of the song I referred to in the above paragraph.  I found this one from a graduating class of 2013 and thought how cool considering I'm graduating in five months and one day.  Then, I noticed the location of this video:  St. Anthony of Padua Church (the same name of the church from Joseph's picture) AND it's in California, which is where Adam lives.  !!!!  Not to mention the special connections with St. Anthony of Padua during my time down here (a search on my blog will likely yield several postings in which he is the subject).  Incredible!!!

Parallels

One of the findings of my dissertation study revealed the importance of resiliency or bouncing back when living with hearing loss.

The term, resiliency, has always been one of my favorite words along with its counterparts, adaptable, adjust, and flexible.

Merriam-Webster defines resiliency as:

: an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change <emotional resilience>

I suppose the adjustment occurred from early on for my parents and family when they adjusted to unexpectedly learning their daughter had hearing loss.  I imagine those early days for my parents were ones of a wide mix of emotions.  Some of these emotions come out in a story my Dad often likes to tell that revolves around a prominent Children's Hospital in a nearby state declaring I was a child with retardation and expectations were not very high for the two or three year old Meg.  Yet, my parents adjusted expectations and set the bar high and haven't looked back since.

The earliest memory I have of the word, adaptable, is when I left the Catholic school to go to the public school in 7th grade.  My Mom understandably so was worried about the transition in going from a tight-knit small class of 10 students to what, at the time, seemed a HUGE school (i.e., 170+ students in the 7th grade).  One of my favorite teachers at St. Joe's, who taught me in 5th grade, reassured my Mom and said, "Oh, don't worry, Megan has always been adaptable".  I remember asking my Mom what exactly she meant by that expression and wondered what I had done in 5th grade to give Ms. Bednar that impression.

Fast forward eleven years to my first year teaching in Pennsylvania when I was given an incredibly LARGE caseload that had me driving from Frackville to Shrewsbury to all areas of York and beyond as well as dealing with a school district who had had very negative experiences with the previous itinerant assigned to it....as a first year teacher, I didn't realize that having so many schools spread out so far, having to repair and build new relationships within the one district, and not having enough hours in the day to see all the students of varying needs was a bit much.  However, I rolled up my sleeves and tackled the seemingly impossible schedule which earned me the nickname from my first supervisor:  Meg Rubber Band K. for my flexibility.

Now, here I am ten years later, about to complete my dissertation next month and my old friend, "resiliency", has emerged as one of the themes within my results. Looking back at the PhD journey, from day one, I've been knocked down in both my personal and professional lives.  My first summer here my car was totaled and unexpected medical/car expenses piled up....relationships back home and here have evolved...disappointment and heartbreak have occurred...manuscripts, grants, and conference proposals have been rejected...competitions have been lost...2 Bs were earned---I know, I know, some are rolling their eyes at this one but at the time, it was pretty devastating so cut me some slack!  ;)

However, on the other hand, I've had the honor of watching my NC niece and nephews grow up and being a part of their lives while living here...I've met some amazing people along the way who have taught me so much through mentoring, advising, & just being in my life...have grown closer to God through these trials and tribulations and realize just how much I have to learn in my faith...found a church home/family...have been able to travel to places I would never have otherwise been able to visit due to successful conference presentations...have improved my writing to try to make the manuscripts better...won a few competitions...have made a tiny contribution to my field in my own way...have impacted future teachers through my teaching (which is the whole point of doing this!!!).

So, having said all of this, I had to chuckle as I cleaned out my school email this morning and stumbled upon these two articles that were sent to us.

The first link might help those of you not in higher education to understand a little bit about the long hours and endless revisions that I've been doing.  One of my favorite parts of this link is this:
 We are in the business of getting shot down only to find strength to learn from failure and emerge stronger on the other side.  If you’re not resilient, you are going to have a very hard time in this line of work – it doesn’t matter where your courage to endure comes from as long as you keep moving forward.


The second link encourages us to embrace and even learn to love rejection.  This can be applied to all aspects of life.  How many of us would rather walk the straight and narrow line playing it safe so they don't get hurt?  One of my take away points from this article is this:
Only recently did I discover research showing that, for success in careers, persistence in the face of failure is as important as intelligence.

The article ends with this line:
Most of all it is about being willing to fail, learning from the experience, and trying again. 

On that note, I'm going to get back to revising my Defense Powerpoint now.  I certainly don't want to fail but you won't find me not trying again when I do.  

 

Reason / Season / Lifetime Friends

In a previous blog posting, I shared a song performed by Martina McBride.  The lyrics of that song always reminded me of the words you'll see below from Mother Teresa.  What is the "something" you do anyway?  It could be one thing or it could be many.  Do you continue go about your day trying to help others even if they never notice what you did for them?  Do you keep working on a work project even if your coworkers are less than appreciative of your efforts?  Do you continue reaching out to others even if they ignore, rebuke, or mock you?  

During this season of Advent, we are advised to slow down and be more aware of our actions and the meaning behind them.  Rather than just going through the motions in the everyday hustle and bustle of life, what if we deliberately reflected on the things we do (or don't do)?  

What if we continued to pour out our hearts into what it is we are doing even if the end results are not what we had hoped they would be?  As Mother Teresa would say, "Do it anyway".  Sometimes I feel this is easier said than done...especially when the reactions or the silence from others are hurtful and you feel as if you are falling to pieces.  Do it anyway. You can't control the actions of others; only those of yourself.  I am realizing that your true friends and those who love you, flaws and all, will still be there for you even when differences in beliefs, opinions, ideals, & lifestyles exist.  As a co-friend so eloquently expressed the other day, "Yes, I disagree with his views (on gun use) but I am still his friend because that is part of what makes him who he is.  No, I will never agree with that part of his life but we're still in each other's lives".  When she said that, it resonated within me and helped me to realize that I  have to learn when to just let go which is definitely something this loyal old gal has always struggled with as change has not been my best friend over the years.  Yet life has been nothing but major changes for me since May 2010 and I can't help but wonder if all these uncomfortable changes have occurred to get me ready for the biggest change of all that will be happening 5 months and 1 day from now.  I know it will be lonely (I mean no one likes the feeling of being "replaced") and I will wish things were the "way they used to be" but the truth is...perhaps what I've been trying to hold on to is not meant for a lifetime (as much as that pains me to say) and maybe it was only for a reason or a season. 

Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

So I won't cry anymore because it's over or things have changed.  I will smile as I think back over the memories that these days feel as if they were from another lifetime.  How does the expression go, "It's better to have loved at all rather than not at all?"  Or something like that.  ;)



1. The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta: 

 People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

 If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

   If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

  If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

 What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

   If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

   The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

  Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

  In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa 

____________________________

2. The Original Version: 

The Paradoxical Commandments 

by Dr. Kent M. Keith 

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
   Love them anyway.


2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
   Do good anyway.


3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
   Succeed anyway.


4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
   Do good anyway.


5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
   Be honest and frank anyway.


6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
   Think big anyway.


7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
   Fight for a few underdogs anyway.


8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
   Build anyway.


9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
   Help people anyway.


10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
    Give the world the best you have anyway.

© 1968, 2001 Kent M. Keith 

"The Paradoxical Commandments" were written by Kent M. Keith in 1968 as part of a booklet for student leaders.

(Retrieved from: http://prayerfoundation.org/mother_teresa_do_it_anyway.htm)

Boring Love

Lately, I've been carving out time in the wee hours of the night to read some interesting books that are causing me to look at relationships and love in a whole new way.  It is funny that I should be doing this now, at what should be the busiest time during the semester in wrapping up the course I'm teaching and putting on the finishing touches of my dissertation defense in less than two months.  However, strange travel directions are dancing lessons from God and I'm just going to roll with it.  Back to tonight, as I took a break from dissertating, I came across this beautiful posting that you can read here.   You can also hear some nice music (if the classical genre is your thing) as you read.  ;)

If you don't have time to read the whole posting, see below for some of my favorite words from this thought-provoking article.  Yes, give me boring love over head over heels love any day.

How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic.
 
And a man begins being romantic years before any ring – romance begins with only having eyes for one woman now – so you don’t go giving your eyes away to cheap porn. Your dad will say it sometimes to me, a leaning over – “I am glad that there’s always only been you.” Not some bare, plastic-surgeon-scalpel-enhanced pixels ballooning on a screen, not some tempting flesh clicked on in the dark, not some photo-shopped figment of cultural beauty that’s basically a lie.

The real romantics know that stretchmarks are beauty marks and that different shaped women fit into the different shapes of men souls and that real romance is really sacrifice.

Grown up Advent Calendar

 

Quick, someone go buy me 19 more bottles before December 1st so I can do this as my Advent Calendar this year.  Who's with me?!  ;)