I stumbled upon this new saying from an old favorite philosopher tonight.
"Faith moves mountains, but you have to keep pushing while you are praying." --Henry David Thoreau
Any time I read the works of HDT, I am immediately transported back to
Walden Pond when I visited the foundation of his home in the woods one
summer with my big brother and Aunt Maureen. How lucky we were to have
fun trips as children that included visiting sites such as Walden Pond,
Louisa May Alcott's home (author of Little Women), and going camping at
Rehoboth Beach in Delaware. I hope to someday take my children or at
least my niece and nephews on fun trips such as these!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Using Our Gifts
The irony of this weekend is not lost on me. During every free minute, I've been working on my dissertation while enjoying festivities for my Aunt as she receives her doctorate from Fairfield University in Norwalk, Connecticut. From recruiting participants through school districts that have been added to my study at the last minute, to trying to schedule interviews from a Dunkin' Donuts along the highway in New York since I needed Internet access and didn't have it in the car, to my family waiting on me as I email folks as we're walking out the door---every second literally counts if I'm to pull off conducting at least eight interviews by this Friday.
I'm also glad to be with my family, today, on the second-greatest feast day (after Easter) of Pentecost Sunday. During the baccalaureate mass at Alumni Hall last night, we learned about gathering together, receiving gifts, and feeling a sense of peace through the readings, psalm, and gospel (see below if you want to take a look). During his homily, Father talked about the spiritual gifts we are all given through the Holy Spirit, which promptly reminded me of last week's retreat in Malvern, PA. As we prepare to caravan over to campus for Commencement and a reception afterwards, I am excited to watch other students about to embark on using their gifts and make a difference in the lives of others. I hope that I, and others, will use the gifts we have been given to positively impact the world.
After mass, Mom, Dad, & I learned about the newly acquired 500+ year old hand written bible that had come to Fairfield, CT from a Benedictine Monastery in Minnesota. More on that in another blog posting complete with pictures! I am also "fired up" to collect data as of 3pm this past Friday afternoon when I heard that I had the long-awaited go-ahead to move forward from my committee. Now, it's on to making revisions to my proposal and conducting interviews. It may be at the last minute, the interviews may be conducted with folks I hadn't planned to talk with, and the interviews will not be transcribed before returning to NC but I will take what I can get!!
when the doors were locked, where the disciples were,
for fear of the Jews,
Jesus came and stood in their midst
and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.
The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,
and whose sins you retain are retained.”
I'm also glad to be with my family, today, on the second-greatest feast day (after Easter) of Pentecost Sunday. During the baccalaureate mass at Alumni Hall last night, we learned about gathering together, receiving gifts, and feeling a sense of peace through the readings, psalm, and gospel (see below if you want to take a look). During his homily, Father talked about the spiritual gifts we are all given through the Holy Spirit, which promptly reminded me of last week's retreat in Malvern, PA. As we prepare to caravan over to campus for Commencement and a reception afterwards, I am excited to watch other students about to embark on using their gifts and make a difference in the lives of others. I hope that I, and others, will use the gifts we have been given to positively impact the world.
After mass, Mom, Dad, & I learned about the newly acquired 500+ year old hand written bible that had come to Fairfield, CT from a Benedictine Monastery in Minnesota. More on that in another blog posting complete with pictures! I am also "fired up" to collect data as of 3pm this past Friday afternoon when I heard that I had the long-awaited go-ahead to move forward from my committee. Now, it's on to making revisions to my proposal and conducting interviews. It may be at the last minute, the interviews may be conducted with folks I hadn't planned to talk with, and the interviews will not be transcribed before returning to NC but I will take what I can get!!
Reading 1 Acts 2:1-11
When the time for Pentecost was fulfilled,
they were all in one place together.
And suddenly there came from the sky
a noise like a strong driving wind,
and it filled the entire house in which they were.
Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire,
which parted and came to rest on each one of them.
And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit
and began to speak in different tongues,
as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.
Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven
staying in Jerusalem.
At this sound, they gathered in a large crowd,
but they were confused
because each one heard them speaking in his own language.
They were astounded, and in amazement they asked,
“Are not all these people who are speaking Galileans?
Then how does each of us hear them in his native language?
We are Parthians, Medes, and Elamites,
inhabitants of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia,
Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia,
Egypt and the districts of Libya near Cyrene,
as well as travelers from Rome,
both Jews and converts to Judaism, Cretans and Arabs,
yet we hear them speaking in our own tongues
of the mighty acts of God.”
they were all in one place together.
And suddenly there came from the sky
a noise like a strong driving wind,
and it filled the entire house in which they were.
Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire,
which parted and came to rest on each one of them.
And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit
and began to speak in different tongues,
as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.
Now there were devout Jews from every nation under heaven
staying in Jerusalem.
At this sound, they gathered in a large crowd,
but they were confused
because each one heard them speaking in his own language.
They were astounded, and in amazement they asked,
“Are not all these people who are speaking Galileans?
Then how does each of us hear them in his native language?
We are Parthians, Medes, and Elamites,
inhabitants of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia,
Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia,
Egypt and the districts of Libya near Cyrene,
as well as travelers from Rome,
both Jews and converts to Judaism, Cretans and Arabs,
yet we hear them speaking in our own tongues
of the mighty acts of God.”
Responsorial Psalm Ps 104:1, 24, 29-30, 31, 34
R. (cf. 30) Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!
O LORD, my God, you are great indeed!
How manifold are your works, O LORD!
the earth is full of your creatures;
R. Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD be glad in his works!
Pleasing to him be my theme;
I will be glad in the LORD.
R. Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
If you take away their breath, they perish
and return to their dust.
When you send forth your spirit, they are created,
and you renew the face of the earth.
R. Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Bless the LORD, O my soul!
O LORD, my God, you are great indeed!
How manifold are your works, O LORD!
the earth is full of your creatures;
R. Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD be glad in his works!
Pleasing to him be my theme;
I will be glad in the LORD.
R. Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
If you take away their breath, they perish
and return to their dust.
When you send forth your spirit, they are created,
and you renew the face of the earth.
R. Lord, send out your Spirit, and renew the face of the earth.
or:
R. Alleluia.
Reading 2 1 Cor 12:3b-7, 12-13
Brothers and sisters: No one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit. There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit; there are different forms of service but the same Lord; there are different workings but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit. As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit.
Gospel Jn 20:19-23
On the evening of that first day of the week,when the doors were locked, where the disciples were,
for fear of the Jews,
Jesus came and stood in their midst
and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.
The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,
and whose sins you retain are retained.”
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Memory Lane
Isn’t
it funny how catching a whiff of a scent (in this case a paper factory that
kind of smells like brussel sprouts) or traveling on a road at dusk can remind
you of long forgotten memories?
I
drove to Hanover tonight to briefly meet up with one of the sweetest girls I
know. I’ll share what was particularly
sweet about Michaelann tonight in a future blog posting. ;) As
I drove home after bidding goodbye to my sweet friend, I recalled so many
other evenings I had made this same trek from Hanover & Spring Grove back over to
York. I remembered the Homecoming Dance
I helped chaperone with the math teacher I was dating in the high school one fall
and how warm the bonfire felt in the cool autumn night. The gas prices at the Rutters gas station on
the circle are still the lowest prices around and I smiled as I vividly recalled the
friendly server at Genova’s as a friend and I talked late one night over yummy
Italian food. Heading closer to Rt. 30,
I remembered how my former roommate and I had made a dash for the car with wet pup in
tow as we got caught in a storm at Dunedin Park after work one spring but rainy
evening. Back in West York, my hair never did look so good
as it did when I was a regular at George’s Hair Salon thanks to Natalie. The familiar rise in the
hill as my car crept up the slight incline of my old street served as a tactile
reminder that I was almost home.
Yes,
it’s amazing how the things we see, hear, touch, taste, and feel can trigger
moments from another time in us. When I
drove past Snyder’s Pretzel factory, I instinctively scanned the red scroll on
the sign. The red letters that flashed
on the screen often share an inspiring message.
Tonight’s saying was, “My eyes are the ocean where my dreams are
reflected”. What an interesting
expression! I usually think of
individuals chasing their dreams or looking outwards at what they are trying to
achieve. This expression reminds me that
we often have to look within ourselves to fulfill our dreams. We need to keep trying and striving for what
it is we most desire within our inner most beings. This line of thought reminds me of one of my
favorite (old school) Mariah Carey songs.
Hmm, what is your take on this expression?
Here horsey, horsey, horsey!
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| One of the things on my to-do list when I moved to NC for school was to ride a horse again. In April, my little brother and I went horseback riding. We had a wonderful sunny afternoon on which to do it and had fun! |
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| Patrick looking like a pro! |
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| My horse's name was River! |
Summer 2013 Mantra
This has been the recurring song for Summer 2013. From hearing it on Glee (LOVED their version of it!) to seeing this video as I watched surprise wedding proposals online (hey, I couldn't sleep!). This video combines some of my favorite things: the color blue, education, sappy love songs, and flash mobs! Enjoy!
Monday, May 13, 2013
A doggie and Our Lady of Fatima
On Friday morning, my sister-in-law's parents' doggie ran away and was missing. Here is a picture and description of the pup that had been posted in the hopes of locating Jake:
For three long days, Jake's family worried about his whereabouts. As of 7:30pm on Monday night, the above post had been shared on Facebook 322 times. Moments ago, tonight, on the Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima, Jake came home. His family reports he is tired, hungry, and sore but overall is doing well! Thank God!
I can't even imagine going through the worry and feelings of helplessness for three whole days. Last summer, Dusty Shamrock ran away when we were in Dover, DE. Those 45 minutes once I realized he was missing were the longest moments of my life. I had never felt so much relief yet anger upon finding him in a local resident's garage after the people had kindly caught him and kept him there until they saw me canvassing their neighborhood. I'm so happy Jake has come home!!
For those who may not be familiar with the story of Our Lady of Fatima, here is one version of it (taken from AmericanCatholic.org):
Between May 13 and October 13, 1917, three Portuguese children received apparitions of Our Lady at Cova da Iria, near Fatima, a city 110 miles north of Lisbon. Mary asked the children to pray the rosary for world peace, for the end of World War I, for sinners and for the conversion of Russia. The third visionary, Lucia dos Santos, became a Carmelite nun and died in 2005 at the age of 97.
Mary gave the children three secrets. Since Francisco died in 1919 and Jacinta the following year, Lucia revealed the first secret in 1927, concerning devotion to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. The second secret was a vision of hell.
Pope John Paul II directed the Holy See's Secretary of State to reveal the third secret in 2000; it spoke of a "bishop in white" who was shot by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows into him. Many people linked this to the assassination attempt against Blessed John Paul II in St. Peter's Square on May 13, 1981.
The feast of Our Lady of Fatima was approved by the local bishop in 1930; it was added to the Church's worldwide calendar in 2002.
The website further states: The message of Fatima is simple: Pray. Unfortunately, some people—not Sister Lucia—have distorted these revelations, making them into an apocalyptic event for which they are now the only reliable interpreters. They have, for example, claimed that Mary's request that the world be consecrated to her has been ignored. Sister Lucia agreed that Pope John Paul II's public consecration in St. Peter's Square on March 25, 1984, fulfilled Mary's request. The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith prepared a June 26, 2000 document explaining the “third secret” (available at www.vatican.va). Mary is perfectly honored when people generously imitate her response “Let it be done to me as you say” (Luke 1:38). Mary can never be seen as a rival to Jesus or to the Church's teaching authority, as exercised by the college of bishops united with the bishop of Rome.
I know a lot of people were praying for the safety of Jake and for him to make his way home the last few days, myself included. May Jake and his family have a good night's rest tonight!
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| Posted 5/11/13 Lost - Myerstown, PA (Jackson Township) - English Cocker Spaniel Jake is a black and white English Cocker, lost near Rosebud Rd/Houtztown Rd intersection. He is a bit of a scardy cat but doesn't usually run off. |
I can't even imagine going through the worry and feelings of helplessness for three whole days. Last summer, Dusty Shamrock ran away when we were in Dover, DE. Those 45 minutes once I realized he was missing were the longest moments of my life. I had never felt so much relief yet anger upon finding him in a local resident's garage after the people had kindly caught him and kept him there until they saw me canvassing their neighborhood. I'm so happy Jake has come home!!
For those who may not be familiar with the story of Our Lady of Fatima, here is one version of it (taken from AmericanCatholic.org):
Between May 13 and October 13, 1917, three Portuguese children received apparitions of Our Lady at Cova da Iria, near Fatima, a city 110 miles north of Lisbon. Mary asked the children to pray the rosary for world peace, for the end of World War I, for sinners and for the conversion of Russia. The third visionary, Lucia dos Santos, became a Carmelite nun and died in 2005 at the age of 97.
Mary gave the children three secrets. Since Francisco died in 1919 and Jacinta the following year, Lucia revealed the first secret in 1927, concerning devotion to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. The second secret was a vision of hell.
Pope John Paul II directed the Holy See's Secretary of State to reveal the third secret in 2000; it spoke of a "bishop in white" who was shot by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows into him. Many people linked this to the assassination attempt against Blessed John Paul II in St. Peter's Square on May 13, 1981.
The feast of Our Lady of Fatima was approved by the local bishop in 1930; it was added to the Church's worldwide calendar in 2002.
The website further states: The message of Fatima is simple: Pray. Unfortunately, some people—not Sister Lucia—have distorted these revelations, making them into an apocalyptic event for which they are now the only reliable interpreters. They have, for example, claimed that Mary's request that the world be consecrated to her has been ignored. Sister Lucia agreed that Pope John Paul II's public consecration in St. Peter's Square on March 25, 1984, fulfilled Mary's request. The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith prepared a June 26, 2000 document explaining the “third secret” (available at www.vatican.va). Mary is perfectly honored when people generously imitate her response “Let it be done to me as you say” (Luke 1:38). Mary can never be seen as a rival to Jesus or to the Church's teaching authority, as exercised by the college of bishops united with the bishop of Rome.
I know a lot of people were praying for the safety of Jake and for him to make his way home the last few days, myself included. May Jake and his family have a good night's rest tonight!
Friday, May 10, 2013
3rd Time the Charm?
The last 2 years, I've attended a Young Adults Retreat in Malvern, PA to kick off my summer. I didn't think I would be able to go for a 3rd time tonight into tomorrow night but alas, I am!
If you have any prayer intentions, please list them here or send me an email and I will happily take them with me to the beautiful Malvern Retreat House/St. Joseph in the Hills.
There is still time to go if interested as you can register/pay at the door. For those who may want to carpool, I will probably leave York around 3pm or so. :) If not, have a wonderful weekend!
If you have any prayer intentions, please list them here or send me an email and I will happily take them with me to the beautiful Malvern Retreat House/St. Joseph in the Hills.
There is still time to go if interested as you can register/pay at the door. For those who may want to carpool, I will probably leave York around 3pm or so. :) If not, have a wonderful weekend!
Pretty Vices
I am such a girly girl sometimes...especially when it comes to earrings and bracelets. I can also be super indecisive at times (hence why I don't have a tattoo). This may be part of why wearing "word" bracelets has been a bit of a penchant for me in that it sort of serves the purpose of providing a visual inspirational reminder in a less permanent way than body art would.
Above you will see 2 of the four bracelets I wear every day. It's hard to read the words on the bracelet from my little brother but the words and the small heart dangling from it make me smile. I found a cute charm to add to the other side of the bracelet while in San Francisco last week but haven't taken an updated picture yet. You can view the other word bracelet I wear that my sister-in-law and twin got me during my first year in the PhD program here. Unfortunately, I lost the paw charm while in California but I'm hopeful that I'll be able to find a replacement charm a jewelry party Ashley and I are having right before I return to NC in a few weeks. If you're interested in Origami Owl, check out the link below and click on "Ashley and Meg's Owl Party". They have some cute mama charms for all you new moms! ;) www.WendiReid.OrigamiOwl.com
Tonight, I came across this inspirational image thanks to my best friend.
I LOVE it! Perhaps I can add it to my Christmas list next year! As I (online) window shopped to find out more about this bracelet, I wondered if I woudl wear the blue leather strap or if I would just get the charm and then go to a craft store to have the charm placed on (cheaper) chains or leather string? What an inspiring message this is and how needed it is right now! So, since I can't buy the bracelet, I will save the image and look at it as a visual reminder on here.
I also saw this cute, and again timely, charm when looking at some Pandora charms in a store tonight. Yes, I will continue working hard and trying to be "wise" like the owl on this charm to achieve this dream I'm pursuing! And maybe, just maybe, someday I will own this charm and it will remind me of this time in my life.
Tonight, I came across this inspirational image thanks to my best friend.
I LOVE it! Perhaps I can add it to my Christmas list next year! As I (online) window shopped to find out more about this bracelet, I wondered if I woudl wear the blue leather strap or if I would just get the charm and then go to a craft store to have the charm placed on (cheaper) chains or leather string? What an inspiring message this is and how needed it is right now! So, since I can't buy the bracelet, I will save the image and look at it as a visual reminder on here.
I also saw this cute, and again timely, charm when looking at some Pandora charms in a store tonight. Yes, I will continue working hard and trying to be "wise" like the owl on this charm to achieve this dream I'm pursuing! And maybe, just maybe, someday I will own this charm and it will remind me of this time in my life.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Home is where the heart is?
York, PA is
not a tiny town. According to the 2010
census (and Wikipedia), the population
within the city limits was 43,718 folks.
However, each
time I’ve been out this week I’ve seen familiar faces. On Monday night, while at the grocery store,
we saw a secretary from one of my old schools in Dover School District. On Tuesday, we headed across town over to
Chipotle and Sweet Frog to take advantage of the teacher deals for Teacher
Appreciation Week. While in
Sweet Frog, I saw a friend I used to hang out with when living in Harrisburg
and in Chipotle, teachers fI worked with in West York and York County School of
Technology stood in line waiting for their freebies with me. My outing to Dairy Queen tonight yielded a
nice surprise when one of my former students waited on us! Now a junior, he has come a looooong way from
when I first taught him back in 2nd through 9th
grades!
My ties to NC remain with me even as I go about daily life up here in YoPa. I had to
chuckle to myself when I tried to get my Sweet Frog card punched the other
night when the server looked at it then
said, “Sorry, this is only good for Greensboro” before giving my card back to
me. She then asked if I lived there…it
turns out she had lived in Greensboro before her Dad’s job relocated the family to
York. !!!!! Then, on the way to Lauren and Trevor’s house
last night, “Sweet Caroline” played on the radio. Heh.
It has been
wonderful being out and about in the community that has been my home away from
home since Fall 2003. On my way to my friends’
house for dinner last night, I drove past five schools I used to teach in…and the memories of all the students and colleagues I had met in the various buildings came over the years came flooding back to me. Here are some pictures (some of which involved a Flat Stanley project I helped my Montana cousins with in 2007) that accompanied the ones in my memory. ;)
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| This was my corner on the 2nd floor of the old Vo-Tech library. |
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| I was lucky enough to work in West York Middle School all 7 years....this is a rarity in the field of itinerant teaching with being assigned to multiple districts or even different districts each year! |
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| My partners in crime! The lovely librarian and assistant who so graciously let me work with my kiddos in their library during a pizza party at the end of the year back in 2006. |
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| Once Vo-Tech expanded, I had half of a room to work in during the 2006/2007 school year! |
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| My old itinerant office at Yorkshire. Many late nights were spent here, much to the dismay of my poor mentor. ;) |
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| My new itinerant office was in this building during the last couple years I worked in York. |
On the way home last night, I
got to thinking….Perhaps the reason I was so hoping for the York College
position was to try to come back and recreate my 7 years here. Maybe that is not what is meant to happen. No matter where I go, I will still have the
support and love of my faith, family, and friends, thank God! Perhaps it’s time for me to go elsewhere and
create a new home away from home once I graduate from UNCG?
Hearing this song on Glee the other night made me realize that no matter where I go, whether it's a new place or a familiar place, it will be okay.
Hearing this song on Glee the other night made me realize that no matter where I go, whether it's a new place or a familiar place, it will be okay.
Stalled
I have been on pins and needles since landing at BWI a week ago and returning to PA in the middle of the night Thursday into Friday. Each time my school email inbox dings with a new message, I eagerly search the contents to see if a message from my committee has arrived.
A week has gone by since returning to the East Coast from California..and it's gone very differently from how I envisioned it would go. During this unexpected week of downtime (what's that?!), I've been reflecting on how we can plan all we want but if the plans are not meant to be, they are simply not going to happen (yet). I was gently reminded of this last night as I drove home from a belated Cinco de Mayo dinner with a couple I just love. It doesn't feel all that long ago that we sat around their kitchen table celebrating another Cinco de Mayo when we discussed my recent decision to leave LIU and go to NC for school. We had hoped Lauren would inherit my West York caseload the following year and joked about how Trevor could come down to NC and go to races with my brother, a die hard Nascar fan. I always enjoy my time with this sweet couple I call Barbie and Ken but last night was sweet for another reason. Lauren and Trevor are expecting their first child this fall!!! Their plans to have a family are finally becoming reality, albeit a few years later than planned, but it is happening for them! As they listened to me vent about my frustration over feeling stuck right now, they reminded me of their struggles to experience their current happiness. As I drove home last night, I felt a renewed sense of hope.
Today, I was able to attend mass at my old church in East York for the first time in a couple years. On the way to mass, I felt myself being drawn into the worry and anxiety I've been feeling over "getting it all done" in my rapidly dwindling time in PA. I return to NC in a little over 3 weeks and I have yet to do anything dissertation study-wise up here. I keep reminding myself that I was able to conduct my 8 pilot study interviews & transcribe them during 4 days of non-stop work so with a lot of late nights and working around the clock, while not the ideal, I could do the same again for my dissertation data collection. These thoughts swirled around in my mind as I crossed town to go to St. Joe's...
My plans: recruit participants for the study on Wednesday, April 24th.
What happened: nothing yet.
My plans: try to schedule interviews starting on Friday, May 3rd.
What happened: nothing yet.
My plans: go visit my parents as soon as interviews have been conducted then return to York during the end of my stay in PA.
What happened: still in York.
My plans: begin making HUGE revisions to my proposal based on the chart I created last week.
What happened: nothing yet.
My plans: try to visit with as many friends as possible.
What happened: I am hesitant to make plans in case I get the permission from my committee I'm waiting on to start conducting interviews since the dissertation data collection takes top priority right now.
The screeching brakes, as a fall-out from the disastrous April 24th propsoal meeting, have resulted in a complete stop in the dissertation process.
The fact of the matter is I had no Plan B. I put too much faith/optimistic hope into believing that things would go as I had envisioned while home due to endless preparation and hard work. In hindsight, I should have packed my materials for the other research projects I have put on hold as I could have been working on all these things over the last week. I'm trying to view this "down" time as a blessing in disguise, as Lord knows there is not much of that these days, but this lack of moving forward is driving me nuts when there are so many things that need to get done...I'm ready to hit the road running, or to push the gas pedal, once I hear from my committee. I'm now down to 8 days left of collecting data so fingers crossed I hear something soon!
It was with this mindset that I entered my old church this afternoon. I prayed for guidance and hoped I would feel a sense of peace over all of the worry and doubt I've been experiencing this week through my disappointment with a future job prospect, feeling as if my dissertation plans have been stalled, and wishing for more committee support. It was a bit surreal being back in this church I had begun attending in 2007 with an ex boyfriend. This was the church we had talked about getting married in someday. I began my volunteering through the church ministry programs at this church and was a regular adorer during Thursday Adoration. I also had my first face to face confession, as an adult, in the beautiful confession room with a visiting Irish priest and love the style of this sort of church as well as the homilies given by the Capuchian Friars who run the church. For these reasons, St. Joe's is one of my top three favorite churches!
As I prayed over my impatience and uncertainty and reflected on how nothing is going the way I had hoped in all aspects of life right now, I tried to turn it all over to God. I imagined laying all of this down on the altar in front of me and just releasing it. Just before mass began, I hoped to hear some sort of reassuring message.
I received what I needed to hear when I read these words from Matthew 28:20: Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age, alleluia/Go and teach all nations, says the Lord; I am with you always, until the end of the world.
Fr. Louis then proceeded to talk about the word, "up", during his homily and how we use that word by saying, "time to get up" and how things will get better or "look up" by the grace of God. We trust God is here.
Goodness, it doesn't get any simpler or plainer than that. Even in times of struggle, God is present and things will improve...it might not happen in the next five minutes or tomorrow, but gradually, things will get better. I am so glad I drove the half hour across town to go to mass at St. Joseph's instead of choosing to attend mass at the church that is three minutes from Ashley's house so that I could hear this message this afternoon.
The Communion hymn, "Eye Has Not Seen" by Marty Haugen was a nice reminder of this as well:
When pain and sorrow weigh us down, be near to us, O Lord, forgive the weakness of our faith, and bear us up within your peaceful word.
Eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has ready for those who love him; Spirit of love, come, give us the mind of Jesus, teach us the wisdom of God.
Our lives are but a single breath, we flower and we fade, yet all our days are in your hands, so we return in love what love has made.
On the way home from mass, I heard on the radio about a devastating tanker fire that has occurred on a major highway, underneath another major highway, in Harrisburg. Fortunately, no one was killed or seriously injured in this tanker fire but major portions of 81/22 have been shut down in both directions and the government has released workers early from work in the capitol buildings. A cause has not been determined as of 3:30pm today. According to the live press conference I'm watching right now, structures of the highways need to be rebuilt due this damage. 81 will remain closed throughout the weekend. Traffic is being redirected to 581, which is currently backed up due to construction and of course the influx of traffic. There is no timetable for when 81 will be reopened and as of 4pm this afternoon, the turnpike is suspending tolls. WOW!!! These are the roads I traveled when commuting from York to Harrisburg for work and when I commuted to Kutztown for my Master's degree.
I'm thankful I'm down here in York and out of the way of all this chaos but I can't help but think of all those folks who were and are stuck in traffic on 81/22 today. Thinking of all those plans that have been delayed or postponed due to this unexpected fire reminds me yet again that even with good intentions and the best laid plans, life still happens of it's own accord. I had a bumper sticker on my first car that I put on the back window on September 10, 2001 that said, "People plan, God laughs...just wing it". Never would I have imagined what would happen the next morning on September 11th that would impact everyone's plans that day...and please don't misunderstand me in thinking I feel that God "laughed" at what happened or at any bad news for any of us. I'm just trying to illustrate how, I personally, need to work on realizing (and embracing) when plans don't come to fruition when I want them to as God's will is what should prevail.
I've been trying to make the most of this downtime through trying to embrace the art of being patient, organizing my pictures from the last several months, trying to get caught up on emails, and of course blogging. I'm thinking that I'll restart my job search since the York College gig is not looking as promising as I had hoped. Yes, I regret not being able to get started on writing my revisions of the proposal and not being able to transcribe the interviews I thought I would already have completed by now but I trust that everything happens for a reason, even if I can't see why right now. In the meantime, please send kind thoughts and prayers to the first responders and personnel dealing with the issues that have come out of the tanker fire as well as to the folks sitting in traffic (the news just said that school buses who are transporting children home from school will be delayed by at least 45 minutes) and to those dealing with trying to attend graduation events and fulfil plans and so forth along 81 over the weekend into early next week.
A week has gone by since returning to the East Coast from California..and it's gone very differently from how I envisioned it would go. During this unexpected week of downtime (what's that?!), I've been reflecting on how we can plan all we want but if the plans are not meant to be, they are simply not going to happen (yet). I was gently reminded of this last night as I drove home from a belated Cinco de Mayo dinner with a couple I just love. It doesn't feel all that long ago that we sat around their kitchen table celebrating another Cinco de Mayo when we discussed my recent decision to leave LIU and go to NC for school. We had hoped Lauren would inherit my West York caseload the following year and joked about how Trevor could come down to NC and go to races with my brother, a die hard Nascar fan. I always enjoy my time with this sweet couple I call Barbie and Ken but last night was sweet for another reason. Lauren and Trevor are expecting their first child this fall!!! Their plans to have a family are finally becoming reality, albeit a few years later than planned, but it is happening for them! As they listened to me vent about my frustration over feeling stuck right now, they reminded me of their struggles to experience their current happiness. As I drove home last night, I felt a renewed sense of hope.
Today, I was able to attend mass at my old church in East York for the first time in a couple years. On the way to mass, I felt myself being drawn into the worry and anxiety I've been feeling over "getting it all done" in my rapidly dwindling time in PA. I return to NC in a little over 3 weeks and I have yet to do anything dissertation study-wise up here. I keep reminding myself that I was able to conduct my 8 pilot study interviews & transcribe them during 4 days of non-stop work so with a lot of late nights and working around the clock, while not the ideal, I could do the same again for my dissertation data collection. These thoughts swirled around in my mind as I crossed town to go to St. Joe's...
My plans: recruit participants for the study on Wednesday, April 24th.
What happened: nothing yet.
My plans: try to schedule interviews starting on Friday, May 3rd.
What happened: nothing yet.
My plans: go visit my parents as soon as interviews have been conducted then return to York during the end of my stay in PA.
What happened: still in York.
My plans: begin making HUGE revisions to my proposal based on the chart I created last week.
What happened: nothing yet.
My plans: try to visit with as many friends as possible.
What happened: I am hesitant to make plans in case I get the permission from my committee I'm waiting on to start conducting interviews since the dissertation data collection takes top priority right now.
The screeching brakes, as a fall-out from the disastrous April 24th propsoal meeting, have resulted in a complete stop in the dissertation process.
The fact of the matter is I had no Plan B. I put too much faith/optimistic hope into believing that things would go as I had envisioned while home due to endless preparation and hard work. In hindsight, I should have packed my materials for the other research projects I have put on hold as I could have been working on all these things over the last week. I'm trying to view this "down" time as a blessing in disguise, as Lord knows there is not much of that these days, but this lack of moving forward is driving me nuts when there are so many things that need to get done...I'm ready to hit the road running, or to push the gas pedal, once I hear from my committee. I'm now down to 8 days left of collecting data so fingers crossed I hear something soon!
It was with this mindset that I entered my old church this afternoon. I prayed for guidance and hoped I would feel a sense of peace over all of the worry and doubt I've been experiencing this week through my disappointment with a future job prospect, feeling as if my dissertation plans have been stalled, and wishing for more committee support. It was a bit surreal being back in this church I had begun attending in 2007 with an ex boyfriend. This was the church we had talked about getting married in someday. I began my volunteering through the church ministry programs at this church and was a regular adorer during Thursday Adoration. I also had my first face to face confession, as an adult, in the beautiful confession room with a visiting Irish priest and love the style of this sort of church as well as the homilies given by the Capuchian Friars who run the church. For these reasons, St. Joe's is one of my top three favorite churches!
As I prayed over my impatience and uncertainty and reflected on how nothing is going the way I had hoped in all aspects of life right now, I tried to turn it all over to God. I imagined laying all of this down on the altar in front of me and just releasing it. Just before mass began, I hoped to hear some sort of reassuring message.
I received what I needed to hear when I read these words from Matthew 28:20: Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age, alleluia/Go and teach all nations, says the Lord; I am with you always, until the end of the world.
Fr. Louis then proceeded to talk about the word, "up", during his homily and how we use that word by saying, "time to get up" and how things will get better or "look up" by the grace of God. We trust God is here.
Goodness, it doesn't get any simpler or plainer than that. Even in times of struggle, God is present and things will improve...it might not happen in the next five minutes or tomorrow, but gradually, things will get better. I am so glad I drove the half hour across town to go to mass at St. Joseph's instead of choosing to attend mass at the church that is three minutes from Ashley's house so that I could hear this message this afternoon.
The Communion hymn, "Eye Has Not Seen" by Marty Haugen was a nice reminder of this as well:
When pain and sorrow weigh us down, be near to us, O Lord, forgive the weakness of our faith, and bear us up within your peaceful word.
Eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has ready for those who love him; Spirit of love, come, give us the mind of Jesus, teach us the wisdom of God.
Our lives are but a single breath, we flower and we fade, yet all our days are in your hands, so we return in love what love has made.
On the way home from mass, I heard on the radio about a devastating tanker fire that has occurred on a major highway, underneath another major highway, in Harrisburg. Fortunately, no one was killed or seriously injured in this tanker fire but major portions of 81/22 have been shut down in both directions and the government has released workers early from work in the capitol buildings. A cause has not been determined as of 3:30pm today. According to the live press conference I'm watching right now, structures of the highways need to be rebuilt due this damage. 81 will remain closed throughout the weekend. Traffic is being redirected to 581, which is currently backed up due to construction and of course the influx of traffic. There is no timetable for when 81 will be reopened and as of 4pm this afternoon, the turnpike is suspending tolls. WOW!!! These are the roads I traveled when commuting from York to Harrisburg for work and when I commuted to Kutztown for my Master's degree.
I'm thankful I'm down here in York and out of the way of all this chaos but I can't help but think of all those folks who were and are stuck in traffic on 81/22 today. Thinking of all those plans that have been delayed or postponed due to this unexpected fire reminds me yet again that even with good intentions and the best laid plans, life still happens of it's own accord. I had a bumper sticker on my first car that I put on the back window on September 10, 2001 that said, "People plan, God laughs...just wing it". Never would I have imagined what would happen the next morning on September 11th that would impact everyone's plans that day...and please don't misunderstand me in thinking I feel that God "laughed" at what happened or at any bad news for any of us. I'm just trying to illustrate how, I personally, need to work on realizing (and embracing) when plans don't come to fruition when I want them to as God's will is what should prevail.
I've been trying to make the most of this downtime through trying to embrace the art of being patient, organizing my pictures from the last several months, trying to get caught up on emails, and of course blogging. I'm thinking that I'll restart my job search since the York College gig is not looking as promising as I had hoped. Yes, I regret not being able to get started on writing my revisions of the proposal and not being able to transcribe the interviews I thought I would already have completed by now but I trust that everything happens for a reason, even if I can't see why right now. In the meantime, please send kind thoughts and prayers to the first responders and personnel dealing with the issues that have come out of the tanker fire as well as to the folks sitting in traffic (the news just said that school buses who are transporting children home from school will be delayed by at least 45 minutes) and to those dealing with trying to attend graduation events and fulfil plans and so forth along 81 over the weekend into early next week.
May 9th!!
With graduation right around the corner for this year's UNCG graduates (tomorrow at 10am), I had a dream that my famiy came to see me graduate (hopefully that happens 1 year from today!!). I woke up as we all were in a panic since we were stuck in a mob of people and were unable to get to the auditorium on time. For a moment, I thought I had missed my graduation before I realized it was just a dream. Whew!
Dream or no dream, this led me to a question.
Where should we go to celebrate after the graduation?! The ceremony will end in early afternoon.
I remember mulling over this question and considering it as a big deal when I graduated from Indiana University of Pennsylvania, my undergraduate college. I scouted out places in Pittsburgh as I student taught in western PA and bounced ideas off my supervising teacher. I mentioned a few places to my parents. Restaurants were either too far away, too expensive, or too time-consuming with having to drive into IUP and then returning to Pittsburgh. So, at the last minute, as we drove away from campus and back to Pittsburgh, the family selected Old Country Buffett in Robinson Township.
When I graduated from Kutztown University with my Master's Degree, four years later, I didn't walk or participate in the graduation ceremony. I had finished my last class on June 30th and graduation was not until December just before the holidays during a busy time of the year for us teachers. No party or gathering was held upon completion of my Master's program.
That won't be the case come May 9, 2014!!
I will be celebrating the completion of this journey!!! Do we do this in NC or in PA? Having no clue where I will be working (will I have a job lined up or will I still be interviewing?!), it would probably make more sense to do it in NC immediately after the graduation itself. 4 times in the last 2 weeks, I was asked when would I be having my PhD party by family/friends...I suppose people have graduation on their minds since it's that time of year or maybe they feel that I should be done now (I wouldn't be opposed to being done in 3 vs. 4 years..ha!). So I guess the dream I had was my subconscious already looking forward to what will most certainly be a joyous occasion....which leads me to my question of where shall we go???
Knowing my family, there will be at least 16 family members attending. I don't know if any Pennsylvania friends will make the trip down or if any friends in NC will be coming by nor do I know for certain if any of my colleagues from UNCG will be making an appearance. Hopefully Dr. Klein will still be available to come and I'm thinking this just might be the event when Dr. Compton will meet everyone as well! So, if the party is held outside my brother's house at a restaurant, it would need to be able to hold all of my brood. If we stay with my brother's family's home, from where shall we order food? If we go to a place of business in the Triad area, where shall we choose?
Before you all think I'm crazy and a control freak for pondering these things now, exactly 1 year before the date I will walk across that stage, I'm just speculating here and seeking out advice. I'm not actually looking to make the reservations now....I won't do that until January 2014..ha, just kidding! ;)
So, I welcome your suggestions/advice and am excited to hear them! I have a few possibilities in mind but want to hear your ideas!! In the meantime, here is some humor I stumbled upon when searching for a festive graduation image to insert in this posting..hehe.
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Dream or no dream, this led me to a question.
Where should we go to celebrate after the graduation?! The ceremony will end in early afternoon.
I remember mulling over this question and considering it as a big deal when I graduated from Indiana University of Pennsylvania, my undergraduate college. I scouted out places in Pittsburgh as I student taught in western PA and bounced ideas off my supervising teacher. I mentioned a few places to my parents. Restaurants were either too far away, too expensive, or too time-consuming with having to drive into IUP and then returning to Pittsburgh. So, at the last minute, as we drove away from campus and back to Pittsburgh, the family selected Old Country Buffett in Robinson Township.
When I graduated from Kutztown University with my Master's Degree, four years later, I didn't walk or participate in the graduation ceremony. I had finished my last class on June 30th and graduation was not until December just before the holidays during a busy time of the year for us teachers. No party or gathering was held upon completion of my Master's program.
That won't be the case come May 9, 2014!!
I will be celebrating the completion of this journey!!! Do we do this in NC or in PA? Having no clue where I will be working (will I have a job lined up or will I still be interviewing?!), it would probably make more sense to do it in NC immediately after the graduation itself. 4 times in the last 2 weeks, I was asked when would I be having my PhD party by family/friends...I suppose people have graduation on their minds since it's that time of year or maybe they feel that I should be done now (I wouldn't be opposed to being done in 3 vs. 4 years..ha!). So I guess the dream I had was my subconscious already looking forward to what will most certainly be a joyous occasion....which leads me to my question of where shall we go???
Knowing my family, there will be at least 16 family members attending. I don't know if any Pennsylvania friends will make the trip down or if any friends in NC will be coming by nor do I know for certain if any of my colleagues from UNCG will be making an appearance. Hopefully Dr. Klein will still be available to come and I'm thinking this just might be the event when Dr. Compton will meet everyone as well! So, if the party is held outside my brother's house at a restaurant, it would need to be able to hold all of my brood. If we stay with my brother's family's home, from where shall we order food? If we go to a place of business in the Triad area, where shall we choose?
Before you all think I'm crazy and a control freak for pondering these things now, exactly 1 year before the date I will walk across that stage, I'm just speculating here and seeking out advice. I'm not actually looking to make the reservations now....I won't do that until January 2014..ha, just kidding! ;)
So, I welcome your suggestions/advice and am excited to hear them! I have a few possibilities in mind but want to hear your ideas!! In the meantime, here is some humor I stumbled upon when searching for a festive graduation image to insert in this posting..hehe.
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Of course I had to include this one...look where the University is behind the "scholar".....YORK!?  |
Pictures w/ Boys
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| This is what happens after waiting for 15-20 minutes for everyone to gather on the back deck for a picture. Just when the camera button is being pressed, the "baby" of the family decides to exit the photo. Ahem! |
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| ....Take 2! We finally got the photo of the four of us! Too bad the better half of us 4 are still in church clothes while the other 2 had already changed into play clothes ...tsk, tsk. ;) |
My less than 72 hour trip to San Antonio, TX
In early April, I made a quick trip down to San Antonio, Texas for work. The trip there was an eventful one as I flew alone for the first time since 2000 from Charlotte to Fort Worth/Dallas then flew the rest of the way to San Antonio.
While in Fort Worth/Dallas, I witnessed a man being arrested at my gate just moments prior to boarding my plane (not sure why) and as I tried to sit in my seat, a couple had already claimed my spot and the window seat next to it. I knew without a doubt that my seat was 9 A since that was the seat I had selected for all four planes when I bought my tickets back in early January. The couple apologized for taking my seat as they had mistakenly misread their tickets of 29 A and 29 B.
After getting settled in my seat, I watched as others boarded the plane. It filled up pretty quickly but when I saw a priest sit in the seat across the aisle and up one row from me, I tried to squash my anxiety. Yes, I'm a nervous flier, especially when I travel alone, but earlier that day, I had seen this posting on Facebook:
All I could think of when I saw the priest take the seat near me was.....if this plane is going down, I'm grabbing onto that poor man's arm and taking him with me. ;) No, in all seriousness, this was on the Wednesday right after Easter Sunday and I had recalled reading somewhere that we should thank our priests especially on Good Friday for the work they do, which I hadn't had the opportunity to do. So I seized the moment and scribbled a quick note of thanks to Father and also asked him to pray for my Mom (since it was her birthday) and to pray for a special intention. I passed the note junior high school style to my seat mate who then gave it to Father. He read the note then gave me an ever so slight nod in my direction.
Less than a minute later, a woman quickly boarded the plane and buckled herself into the window seat to my right. Our flight would be about an hour and strangely enough, for being a night flight, the lights remained on the whole time. This allowed for ease in conversing and it was absolutely delightful getting to know Mary Denise. It turns out she was also Catholic and had experience with parenting a child with special needs. How ironic as the reason I was flying to San Antonio was to present twice at conference related to teaching children with special needs!! I also hope she is able to channel her expertise and knowledge through becoming a parent liaison of sorts within the field of special education. This flight to San Antonio was the quickest one yet and ended with the two of us exchanging hugs as we departed from the airport.
A few days prior to flying to San Antonio, I had accidentally discovered that the Menger Hotel where I was staying alone the first night before colleagues joined me on the second night has been ranked as the most haunted hotel in San Antonio. Eek! Yes, I like going on ghost tours (more for the historical aspect) and have been to a haunted house a time or two but to stay in a haunted hotel.....alone...?! I purposely didn't read any more information regarding the hotel figuring that ignorance is bliss and that I didn't want to know the stories until after I completed my stay! However, check out this first picture I took, less than 5 minutes after my 1am arrival!! Do you glimpse an orb?!
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| After inadvertently trying to get in the wrong hotel room due to a mixup at the front desk, I finally found my room. I happily went to bed since I had to be up and out of the room by 7am, just 6 hours later....yikes! |
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| Pretty courtyard of the Menger Hotel |
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| This is the sort of event I would have loved to have enjoyed but alas, no time on a work trip to play! |
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| The hotel lobby was very elegant. |
Here are some stories I learned after my stay at the Menger Hotel that help explain why it has been deemed the most haunted hotel in San Antonio:
- The Menger Hotel was built in 1859, 23 years after the battle of the Alamo, and located right next door to it.
- The 3rd floor is "very active"....eek! My room was on the 3rd floor!
- From the Menger's website---One night after an argument with her husband, Sallie White, a chambermaid, stayed at the hotel presumably with another man. The next day her husband threatened to kill her. On March 28, 1876, Sallie was attacked by her husband and died two days later. The hotel paid for the funeral cost of $32, as recorded in the hotel ledger. Legend has it that Sallie White still roams the halls of the Victorian wing of the hotel. A few years ago, a guest wanted extra towels. He opened the door of his room and called out to a maid who ignored him. The guest called the front desk to inquire why the maid was so rude. He described the maid and her uniform -- one that was worn in the late 1800s, about the time of Sallie's employment at the hotel.
- Another popular story is about another famous Texan, Captain Richard King, founder of famous King's Ranch. King was a man of great wealth who had a suite at the Menger. It is said that when King received news of his impending death following an illness, he spent the last months of his life in the suite. It was at the hotel that he wrote his last will and said his farewells to friends. King's funeral was held in the parlor of the Menger. Now it said that Captain King appears occasionally and is seen entering his room, The King Suite. Many guests and employees claim to have seen him. As the story goes, when he enters the suite, he does not use the door. Instead he walks right through the wall in a location where the door was once located.Another popular story is about an American President. President Teddy Roosevelt recruited cowboys for the Rough Riders at the Menger Bar on more than one occasion. Over the years people have reported seeing him sipping on a drink at the bar.
- There are a TON of Youtube videos featuring the so-called ghosts of this hotel and I'm so glad I didn't view them before this trip...even if the videos might not be authentic!
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| After a super duper late night, I was up bright and early to head on over to the conference and co-present a session in the morning and another in the afternoon. Here, my colleagues and I are posing with Dr. John Luckner, one of our research rock stars. ;) |
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| Another successful presentation in the books for the Professions in Deafness doctoral cohort! |
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| Now that work was over as of 4pm, time to go explore! Dr. Compton and I stumbled upon a map in the concrete so being the Pennsylvania gal I am, I just had to have a photo taken with my home state! |
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| St. Joseph Catholic Church |
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| I love how an unexpected bonus to my work trips is that I can go explore different Catholic churches across the country! |
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| The River Walk was absolutely gorgeous! |
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| We returned here later in the night for our yummy dinner with my cousin! |
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| I didn't know it at the time but the River Walk is only about 3 feet deep! |
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| What a beautiful sight to see as we rounded a corner while shopping for souvenirs in a quaint shopping plaza. |
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| Our Lady of Guadalupe and St. Anthony of Padua, pray for us! |
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| We weren't allowed to take photos in this beautiful store. The weaving and other gorgeous items were something else! |
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| We had such a gorgeous evening to explore the River Walk and downtown San Antonio area! |
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| This was just around the corner from the Menger Hotel |
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| Another view of St. Joseph's from across the street |
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| This photo reminds me of the conversation I had with Mary Denise on the way to San Antonio. We discussed following God's Will and trying to let go of control and trusting. I had asked her if she was familiar with the song, "God is a River" by Peter Mayer. I had learned about this song at a Young Adults Retreat in 2011 and just love it and how it can relate to so many of us no matter our circumstances. See below for the lyrics and video of this peaceful song: |
In the ever-shifting water of the river of this life
I was swimming, seeking comfort; I was wrestling waves to find
A boulder I could cling to, a stone to hold me fast
Where I might let the fretful water of this river 'round me pass
And so I found an anchor, a blessed resting place
A trusty rock I called my savior, for there I would be safe
From the river and its dangers, and I proclaimed my rock divine
And I prayed to it "protect me" and the rock replied
God is a river, not just a stone
God is a wild, raging rapids
And a slow, meandering flow
God is a deep and narrow passage
And a peaceful, sandy shoal
God is the river, swimmer
So let go
Still I clung to my rock tightly with conviction in my arms
Never looking at the stream to keep my mind from thoughts of harm
But the river kept on coming, kept on tugging at my legs
Till at last my fingers faltered, and I was swept away
So I'm going with the flow now, these relentless twists and bends
Acclimating to the motion, and a sense of being led
And this river's like my body now, it carries me along
Through the ever-changing scenes and by the rocks that sing this song
God is a river, not just a stone
God is a wild, raging rapids
And a slow, meandering flow
God is a deep and narrow passage
And a peaceful, sandy shoal
God is the river, swimmer
So let go
God is the river, swimmer
So let go
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| What a neat depiction of St. Anthony of Padua, the patron saint of San Antonio! |
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| My cousin, who is in San Antonio for the Air Force, joined us for dinner! I had NO idea he was living there until after I arrived for the conference so am so beyond happy he was able to join us! |
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| Night time view of Menger Hotel |
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| Part of The Alamo |
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| The Alamo right next to the hotel |
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| My super funny, generous, & cute cousin, Ethan! |
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| Yes, San Antonio was AWESOME!! It was very hard leaving this pretty city at 5am on that Friday. |
Upon boarding my second plane enroute to Charlotte, and a few minutes after sitting in my seat, a mother with a very young and loudly crying toddler tried to make her way to their seats at the rear of the plane. A few minutes ticked by as the mother struggled with her carry-on, her rolling luggage, and a tired (and at this point, a screaming) child. Finally, I got up and offered to take her luggage from her if she wanted to lift the now tantruming child and carry him to their seats. As I returned to my seat, I noticed a woman had taken the one next to mine. It turns out she has her doctorate! The remainder of our flight was spent with her imparting wisdom from when she submitted her proposal and defended her dissertation some thirty years ago. It was neat hearing how different it was during her journey "back in the day" pre the computers era but also refreshing to hear that some things remained the same in terms of committees, revisions, etc. She also shared with me a delicious snack that for the life of me I can't recall what it was. I remember she bought it from the market in Austin, where she was from...which was funny since my very first conference I attended as a doctoral student was in Austin, TX in November 2011. ; )
As this blog posting on San Antonio comes to a close, I'm feeling a sense of peace. The last few days have been filled with worry, doubt, and anxiety over the unknown. I've been meaning to blog about San Antonio for a while but just haven't had the time. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had time tonight and so needed to blog/meditate on my thoughts since doing so made me listen to a song I desperately needed to hear in this moment. Thanks goes to Bill Donaghy, the Young Adults Retreat Master from 2011, for introducing me to this song! The lyrics that particularly struck me tonight were: "So I'm going with the flow now, these relentless twists and bends. Acclimating to the motion, and a sense of being led." So for now, the job search for next year will wait...the checking of my school email every five minutes to see if my committee has granted me permission to move forward with data collection will cease...in this moment right now, I'm thankful to have my little puppy curled up next to me, I look forward to attending mass at my old parish in York tomorrow afternoon, and I will put off doing today what I can do tomorrow (since it's already 1am)..ha!