We all have different perspectives. We all have different challenges. We all have our ups and downs and things we struggle with daily and in general within our lives. The last few weeks have been so jam packed and busy that lately, I can only think of the next day’s plans or more often than not, of the current day’s plans. It has taken me a long time to go from knowing what I’m doing on a monthly basis to trying to live day by day. Some days I think I’m doing well with it and other days, I’m barely hanging on by a thread.
I guess what is on my mind tonight is the perceptions others have that the “grass is greener on the other side”. I don’t believe in that. No matter how things seem on the outside to the world, I think everyone has a cross to bear, whether it be working in a less than satisfying job, wishing for more creative freedom, wanting a family, wishing for less responsibilities, and well, you could name it.
I think it’s what you do with those challenges that matters. When you rise to the challenges, hopefully with the support of family, friends, faith, and whatever else inspires you, you build character. Granted, there are some days I think, “Geez, I don’t need more character”, but there is a reason for everything. Every hurdle, obstacle, and pain that crosses your path is there for a reason. I think that life is so much more rewarding and gratifying when you overcome those challenges.
In discussing challenges, there are all kinds that we face. It seems lately, for me, that I’ve been coming across small ones daily…like for instance, I have not had the time to keep up with my personal email accounts, have a pile of cards/letters I’ve been wanting to write back to since Christmas, have cuddled with my little Dusty Shamrock way too little this semester, was unable to go see my Dad for his birthday weekend in PA with the rest of my family, and haven’t been able to watch The Bachelor for the last two weeks due to my crazy schedule. Working 10, 11, 12 hour days doesn’t leave much time for socializing with friends, going to the gym, and playing with my niece and nephews. I miss going to Adoration every Wednesday night and just spontaneously going to a movie with friends or taking walks during daylight hours. Getting to bed before midnight is a rarity these days and with several research projects, tons and tons and tons of readings, schoolwork, and portfolio artifacts not getting written, I’m always worrying and thinking about the work that needs to be done…even when I’m trying to do something “fun” when taking a break from the work….then, when I’m relatively not too tired, I have to babysit to try to earn conference money so that I can fulfill expectations of presenting and traveling to these events…..so when I hear others make comments about how it must be easier to be a student due to not being married, not teaching full time, being young, etc. etc. etc. I try to let them slide right off but inside, the comments strike a chord.
Call me too sensitive and say that I’m taking things too personally but again, we all have made different decisions and therefore, face differing challenges. I know that I probably would not be able to do this doctoral program if I were still teaching full time. It is one thing to complete the master’s program while teaching and working 2 part time jobs but this doctoral thing is a whole different ballgame! While I miss my old job every day, I knew that if I were going to do this, that I would have to give it up for the time being. I so admire the folks who are teaching/working full time and doing the doctoral program and take my hat off to them!! The same goes for the parents in the group. Whether, parents of younger or older children, I admire their ability to rise and accept the challenges. This further makes me think of differing perceptions…while they see me as a single student who’s time is her own, I see that they have the support of their soul mate and have the blessings of their children to go home to when we get out of our late nights of school.
It’s a lonely world out there but as long as a girl has ice cream, The Bachelor, and Dusty Shamrock, then all’s right with the world. Listening to this song helps too. :-)