Monday, September 3, 2012

“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~ Brene Brown

I just listened to these 2 talks at the suggestion of one of my committee members.  I highly recommend you take the chance to listen to these (they will take less than an hour to listen to with being 20 minutes long each...)..

While listening to the first talk, I realized that my whole journey from Pennsylvania to North Carolina is both literally and figuratively representative of me "leaning into the discomfort and being vulnerable...."

 
 
I don't think you could call me a "breakdown babe" but to truly be seen, you can't hide behind the shame or thoughts of not being worthy enough.  If you aren't, then keep the nose to the grindstone and keep on keepin' on...make up for your weaknesses by cultivating your strengths. 
 
I used to be afraid to fail before coming down here.  I admit that I tended to take on tasks or assignments I felt that I would do well.  If I wasn't able to follow through on something, I would simply sign on to do it.  That was part of why I struggled with the decision to leave my job and go back to school.  I had a pretty good thing going, if I say so myself, job-wise and grad school-wise, at home.  Everything was comfortable and tidy in my old life.
 
Fast forward two years ahead and I can't help but stand and look at all that has happened in my life in awe.  Slowly but surely, things are a lot messier but I've pushed beyond the warm and fuzzy boundaries to the hard and jagged discomforting arenas.  However, I'm learning that if I mess up or need help or simply don't succeed, I won't curl up in a ball and die of shame.  Admittedly, I know I need to work on not subscribing to the belief of:  "Do it all, do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat".
 
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
                                                                                                                           Theodore Roosevelt
"Citizenship in a Republic,"
Speech at the Sorbonne, Paris, April 23, 1910
 
 
After posting this, I logged into my school email.  One of the faculty members I work for had sent me this article..to my fellow doc student and PhD friends...check out this quick read

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