Temptations, temptations

Last night, I was asked out to dinner by a gentleman who found me online.  My plans for Saturday night had fallen through 3 times w/ other friends, so I was actually free and said sure, why not.  I had only talked to this guy a few other times, via email, and didn't feel one way or the other about him.  He had initially contacted me with questions about Catholicism so I figured he just wanted to pick my brain about religion based on our previous communication.  I suppose my first sign of things not going well should have been when he didn't show up at the time he said he was going to...later on that night, we agreed to meet up for drinks instead of dinner.

As we sat at a table in one of my favorite Irish pubs, our chat began to feel more like an interrogation in which question after question was posed regarding religion, sports, travel, etc.  Don't get me wrong, I love talking and engaging in conversations but when it's one-sided and consists of me giving all the answers to his questions without his really stopping to listen to the answers or then asking questions like, "Do I look like Vince Vaughn?  I've been told I do" in the next breath...I kind of lose interest in the conversation. 

It was clear we came from completely different backgrounds/life experiences from early on when he posed the question, "You're Roman Catholic correct?  Does that mean you are a nun?" and quickly followed up those questions with, "Are you allowed to watch "R" movies?", and this gem of a line when I was sitting in his car trying to keep warm as he stood outside the driver's side with the door open to smoke a cigarette, "You know, you have the potential to be a really cool girl but you are so limited by...well, your faith."


That last statement was just the final nail in the coffin and I couldn't get home soon enough. 
 
 My responses to the gentleman's questions above were:

1.) "Yes. Um, no...that's like saying "Are you a pastor in your church since you go to the service?" or "You're a law abiding citizen in the community, therefore you're a police officer". (He thought that those 2 examples I gave him were the most preposterous things. However, after the 3rd time of saying, "I keep thinking you're a nun", in a half hour's span, I gave up trying to explain what religious life entails (i.e., taking vows, joining an order, carrying out the calling through work, etc.) 
 
2.) "Yes, but chick flicks and comedies are more my style...not b/c I'm Catholic but b/c those are the genres I enjoy".
 
3.) "Wow." That was the only respectful thing I could think to say in the moment.  
 
For those of you who know me personally, you know I'm open to being friends with all sorts of people and folks from all walks of life.  I'm not the type of person who is only friends with a certain sort of personality, ethnicity, religion, culture, or work style.  It takes all different kinds of people to make this beautiful world go round but after experiences like last night's, I have to wonder if's easier to socialize/date within one's own religion, whatever that may be.  Last night's interaction was exhausting as it took a whole lot of extra work to just have a conversation with this gentleman...I'm definitely looking forward to a gathering of like-minded friends this afternoon where our fundamental beliefs are just understood amongst each other.  Are we all carbon copies of one another who have the same interests and views on everything?  No, and I'm glad we don't because that would be boring.  However, there's a whole other set of stress that accompanies interacting with a person, at least in my experience, when dealing with such opposition to something that is so intrinsically you.  I have no idea if any of my ramblings are making sense as I'm just typing from the heart here but hopefully some of it is coherent.

So, after a restless night, I woke up to a wall full of posts from my friends/some family on Facebook after posting a bit of frustration on there when I came home last night.  What truly blew me away though was the message this 36 year old gentleman proceeded to send to me at 1:30am:  "Y dont u answer my question u fat nun" when I didn't respond to a text in which he asked if I liked him 20 minutes after we said goodbye.  Yes, the 2 "free" Malibu Bay Breezes from tonight were so not worth this hassle. Clearly, the part in our conversation tonight in which we talked about levels of respect and whatnot were not authentic as his true colors shone through or rather I suppose his colors are just dismally bleak. 

I was too riled up to go to bed after that text so being the nun that I am according to this gentleman, I decided to get caught up on the day's Bible Reading challenge and stumbled upon this in one of my peers' posts: "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44).....Ok, I heard that message loud and clear at 3am!  ;)

In spite of last night not having been a date and my thinking it was clear from the start that it wasn't, I'm just blown away by the lack of manners/respect shown to women I've seen not only personally but in hearing stories from others (both guys and gals) in the last few weeks.  I just wonder where a guy learns that it's okay to be so blatantly disrespectful, regardless of the circumstances, to others.  All I could think of when these things were happening last night, "...and you're a geriatric nurse....I sure hope you don't treat your patients in this manner."  

Oh well....two of my friends brought up an excellent points regarding posting on Facebook and dating within own religion.  Thinking about last night's readings and gospel, the desert temptations (over the 40 days) must have been temptations Jesus faced everyday. If they are, one could say how like us He is: tempted to give up under our daily burdens, tempted to compromise and follow the crowd, tempted to seek some extraordinary power rather than the quiet power found in ordinary life.  So, maybe I shouldn't have gone online and vented to my Fb friends/fam.  ;)  Maybe that's a temptation I need to work on...venting my so-called annoyances/grievances to my support system.  Or maybe getting together with that guy was, even though I wasn't really feeling the friendship connection to start with, a temptation for me that I should have not faced.  I've said it before and I'll say it again...I'd rather be alone (with my puppy) than with the wrong person for me.

So, I'm glad it's another day, the sun is shining, I've got my adorable little puppy cuddled at my feet, and a fun afternoon is planned so life's good!  Onward and upward!