Have you ever had one of those days where things are getting crossed off the list and you feel like you have the time to get some of the items done? That was what it was like for me today.
Perhaps it was due to the extra hour we gained last night or maybe it was because I was able to somewhat sleep in this morning. Or maybe I was trying to subconsciously keep busy from fully reflecting on what the next day would bring. For whatever reason, I managed to get some laundry done, clean a little, play with Charlotte, respond to student emails, took a walk with Charlotte, did some grading, submitted some proposals, baked a carrot cake with sour cream frosting (SO yummy!), and capped it off with enjoying a nice All Saints Day Dinner with Adam and his parents.
Then, after Charlotte's bath, I settled in for some last minute prep for the new week ahead...as I was about to wrap up the evening work, I remembered that my Google Drive was nearly out of space so I began going through files and pictures and tried to remove the larger files as I've been doing here and there over the last several days in efforts to retrieve some of the stored space. I was about ready to stop for the night when I all of a sudden stumbled upon a photo of Dad. It was one I had taken the day before he passed and it stopped me in my tracks. His face is etched into my mind and I "see" him constantly through thinking of him in what feels like every moment of the day. I had been thinking of him a lot last night as I submitted a proposal I'm extra excited for and wished I could see the look on his face or hear what he would say as I would have shared the news with him over this latest venture. In spite of all that thinking and remembering of him...I was still caught off guard seeing the last image of him I had taken when he was still with us on my screen just now.
How fitting this happened after midnight as we are now in the early morning hours of Monday, November 2nd. We are entering the seventh month of Dad not physically being here with us. How is that even possible? Last night, when we were doing our nighttime prayers, Charlotte prayed, "I want to pray for Pappy. He's all better now, Mommy, but he needs to stay in Heaven for a little while longer. I know you cry and sometimes you don't cry but it's alright, Mommy. I also need to pray for Spirit and for Peppa Pig, Mommy." 💕 When she says/prays things like that, it makes me wonder if she is still expecting him to come back as I sometimes feel when I forget. There have been so many times, I think, "Oh, I wonder what Dad will say when..." or I go to text him and it's not until I'm reaching for the phone before I remember. Such a strange mix of emotions and it feels as if so much time has gone by yet none at all. Yet today is All Souls' Day...a day that I have been thinking of in a different way this year ever since losing Sha in December then Dad in April. They are both never far from my thoughts so I don't really need a day to especially remember them but there is comfort in thinking of many others praying for so many who have passed in a special way on 11/02 as is customary in our faith*.
This one's for you, Dad & Sha. Love you both & miss you. I hope you guys are enjoying one another's company and basking in the joy.
*Per Wikipedia, All Souls' Day, also known as the Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed and the Day of the Dead, is a day of prayer and remembrance for the souls of those who have died, which is observed by Catholics and other Christian denominations annually on November 2nd.
