Seeing this mom sign this song as she wore her baby made me even more nostalgic for those first few months after Charlotte's birth and I could feel myself sliding down that slippery path to the darkness and shock of everything before snapping back to reality and turning toward the schoolwork at hand. There are days I hate what infertility has made me become - at times I feel like I'm hollowed out and walking around in the shell of who I used to be.
However, I am thankful for the chance to be changed and made into a different person in spite of unexpected challenges and each day that comes brings that. It's hard to not be defined by infertility but I'm working on changing that (self) perception of me to embrace other aspects of who I am.
The other day when speaking with a student, I mentioned we should view children by their strengths and their uniqueness rather than focusing on the deficits or disabilities. Why then, am I not doing that when I view myself?? I want to be transformed and focus on other parts of me. God willing I will get past the always present void and try to fill it with good that can come out of it. All things work for the good of the Lord and this moving song in such a beautiful format in the above video is helping me to reframe my perspective. Enjoy!