Saturday, August 29, 2020

Sparkling Goodness


Lately, four year old Charlotte has been putting the word, good, in front of words.

"I want that yummy good egg to eat, Mommy."

"Can you give me that good toy over there?"

"Hershey is a good puppy."

"I had a good sleep!"

"Dusty is eating the good doggie food."

"Look at this!  I painted using the yellow, the good green, and fuschia!  Do you like it?"


As we listen to her commentary of her day or hear her explanations of what the toys are doing in mid-play, her speech is sprinkled with the word, good, in sometimes appropriate places but more often seemingly random places.  The most prominent example of this occurred a few weeks ago when driving her to her morning summer program at the local activity center.  "Mommy, I have a good heart!" she proudly exclaimed from the back seat.  My mother, who was in the front passenger seat next to me, and I glanced at each other in surprise and said, "Why, yes, yes, you do!"  Charlotte then went on to say, "If it's a good heart, is it sparkly?  Mommy, do I have a good sparkly heart?"  I have no idea what prompted that line of thought in her but it was so sweet and heartwarming!  Mom and I assured Charlotte her heart was so good, beautiful, and sparkly as she happily hopped into the activity center.  I've been thinking on the idea of something tucked away out of sight, like our hearts, in the darkest interior parts of our bodies...yet radiating light and sparkling goodness as Charlotte imagined and spoke of from the back seat.  You know how a prism is made up of hard edges, jagged even, and yet the light gets in there and you see a tiny rainbow if the light hits it right?  The light bends and refracts as it sneaks into broken pieces and sharp turns.  The white light coming into the prism, is in a sense, breaking up into the colors that make up the white light and burst forward shining the light outward - at least that is what I think I remember from elementary science classes. 

These are the thoughts that have been running through my mind as I think about what Charlotte said about having a good sparkly heart a few weeks ago.  God is the white light pouring into each of us.  He has loved us into being and has a purpose for each of us.  Dirt may get thrown onto us or we may feel like were mired in mud.  Yet, with God's grace, the brightness shines through and fights its way through the cracks and broken pieces that meld us together.  Would God not want us to use the gifts He has given us to the best of our ability?  Cracks and all?  Then when we offer them back to Him, He can see through the blood, sweat, and tears, our hard efforts and view them as good and sparkly even if others may only see the dust and grime on the surface.


I thought Charlotte had forgotten that statement about the good sparkly heart but she said it this morning!  This time, I said it after we had recorded a video for some of my students.  I said, "Nice work, Charlotte!" after we stopped recording?  She asked, "Was it good and sparkling?"

What beautiful imagery to think of doing our work in a way that is good and sparkling!!  The other night, Adam and I were talking.  I said something to the effect of, "Well, you know it's the two of them and all six of the children."  Charlotte chimed in and said, "We have just one children here!", with a huge smile on her face.  I looked over at Adam then back and Charlotte and said, "Why, yes, you're right!".  She said, "Well, actually there are five of us.  Hershey, Dusty, Daddy, you, and me!"  The joy radiating from her face just sparkled.  You should have seen it.  

I heard the below song earlier this week when making a coffee run.  What an amazing example of taking something that could be viewed as sad or bad to good and sparkling through this beautiful creative art taken from a small girl and her conversation with her Mama who wrote a song about it.    



Well, I can't let go of watercolor memories you made me - - and wonder how you could love something else more - -  last of my kind, you'll always be my only child!  <3  "That's a beautiful song you have there, Mama!" according to four year old Charlotte.  Have a listen for yourself.




Wednesday, August 5, 2020

I wanted to be that Mom.

I wanted to be that mom.

This thought went through my head as I walked by a mom busily navigating her five littles into the play room where she was dropping off her little princes and princesses. The theme today is fairy tales at the summer program where my four year old "Princess Butterfly Ladybug Charlotte" had just skipped and twirled her way into during morning drop offs.

I wanted to be that mom.

I watched as another mom juggled a baby on her hip, wrangled a toddler into his carseat, waved goodbye to her five year old who was standing at the window of the building, then rubbed her pregnant belly as she walked to the driver's side of her van.

I wanted to be that mom.

The thought kept running through my mind on auto-loop as I watched another mom tenderly kiss her newborn on the forehead as she secured his seatbelt. She got smaller in my rearview mirror as I drove away in peace.


Yes, I wanted to be that mom.


However, I'm not. I'm a mom to one precious four year old who is the greatest gift I have ever received. I'm a mom to a sweet and sassy girl who couldn't wait to show Miss Ariel, Mrs. Lily, & Mrs. Eliana her butterfly wings and princess dress. I'm a mom to a girl who sings, "If you're happy and you know it, go to the activity center!" in the car and makes up other equally fun and whimsical song lyrics as we drive places. I'm mom to a girl who dunked graham crackers into green applesauce today saying she was eating the beach because the graham cracker crumbs "look and feel like sand, Mama!" This chance to parent a precocious and curious and inquisitive and genuinely happy and all other big feelings girl who loves to play in the dirt and have rainbow toes and adores her Daddy is such a gift. I'm HER mom.

I also reflected on the fact that because I'm that mom, I'm able to spiritually mother so many as I prepare for the upcoming school year that holds many unknowns right now. As of this morning, I'm the teacher of students in five classes making me the spiritual mother of 87 students for the fall semester. Students who are entrusting their learning to me and whom I owe it to provide meaningful and relevant teachable moments as they prepare to be teachers themselves! I'm able to spend the next couple of hours, while my daughter is happily engaged with the activities of her fairy tale-themed summer day program, trying to work up some magic in planning out the semester for my other "kids". ; )

I'm thankful for the opportunity to mother in so many ways - ways I had not previously considered as much when I was focused on my vision of my family and long held dreams. I wanted to be that mom. However, I am that mom - just in a different way that uses my gifts and skillset in a unique way. Thank you, Lord.