While she may be talking about her cross of living with infertility right now, her message is so powerful for anyone who may be struggling with anything especially when she said, "Keep your eyes on Christ and you can go through it". AMEN!! "We are created for hope and we can't give up no matter how hard" ~ YES! One of my favorite things she also said is the "Lord is loving us through it". I really needed to hear what she said in this video and I hope she keeps sharing and keeps being vulnerable because it is inspiring to others and it is helping others (myself included)..like she said it may be infertility for her and it may be another cross for someone else (when I viewed this video the other day it was worry & anxiety for me at the moment).
I thank Juliana for being such a true BEAUTIFUL friend inside and out and for sharing not only the struggles but the joys of her life through the raw honesty and emotion in her vlogs. I get the sense that she gains peace through this prayerful act of vlogging as I do from blogging but that is speculation on my part. After listening to this particular vlog posting, I am also reminded of a quote I read while we were on our honeymoon a few weeks ago which I will come back to at the end of this post.
The feast day of St. Philip Neri occurred on May 26th just three days after our wedding. All I knew of him at that time was what I had learned during our cross country trip back in late December when we attended the oldest Catholic Church in Albuquerque, San Felipe de Neri (the church was built in 1793). Click here to see pictures of this beautiful church in Old Town Plaza in ABQ from our road trip if you'd like. So, this saint's feast day occurred the Tuesday after we were married and I learned that this saint had quite the funny bone, could be unpredictable, and charming in addition to being the patron saint of Rome. He was known for his impulsivity and spontaneity (hmm, this sounds a bit familiar). He is credited with building the first Oratory (and I went to my first one in Pittsburgh this past winter to hear a talk!). One of the things I like most about this particular saint is that he was of the belief that it wasn't enough to tell young people not to do something but that these young people should be allowed to do something else in its place. For instance, instead of partying, St. Philip encouraged young people to go on missions (this reminds me of what many Franciscan students choose to do on their breaks!). St. Philip also embraced a philosophy I try to demonstrate for my students through being available to everyone at any hour -- even at night. He said some of the most devout people were those who had come to him at night. Yes, I have received a voicemail on my office phone from a student at midnight and I wasn't there to answer it but I'm glad she felt comfortable with me to make that call and reach out to me.
I love this description of the man as well (taken from http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=97): He seemed to sense the different ways to bring people to God. Humility was the most important virtue he tried to teach others and to learn himself. Some of his lessons in humility seem cruel, but they were tinged with humor like practical jokes and were related with gratitude by the people they helped. His lessons always seem to be tailored directly to what the person needed. One member who was later to become a cardinal was too serious and so Philip had him sing the Misere at a wedding breakfast. When one priest gave a beautiful sermon, Philip ordered him to give the same sermon six times in a row so people would think he only had one sermon. !!!! There were unexpected benefits to his lessons in humility. Another member, Baronius, wanted to speak at the meetings about hellfire and eternal punishment. Philip commanded him instead to speak of church history. For 27 years Baronius spoke to the Oratory about church history. At the end of that time he published his talks as a widely respected and universally praised books on ecclesiastical history! Philip did not escape this spiritual mortification himself. As with others, his own humbling held humor. There are stories of him wearing ridiculous clothes or walking around with half his beard shaved off (that would be a comical sight for sure....and I hope Adam never does that!). The greater his reputation for holiness the sillier he wanted to seem. When some people came from Poland to see the great saint, they found him listening to another priest read to him from joke books.
Through learning more about St. Philip Neri and his impact, I can't help but think about how we sometimes worry more about what others think (aka keeping up with the Joneses) than thinking about what God thinks of our actions. Thinking others will mock us or ridicule us may cause us to hide our true selves or to not live out our lives in authentic fashion. This fear of rejection or others' ridiculing us may cause us to not try new things or to serve God to the best of our abilities. Perhaps we should all strive to do something each day that requires a risk even if it may cause us to look silly. St. Philip didn't seem to care so why should we? After all, there is a time and a place for humor is there not?
So why this tangent about this humorous saint when talking about Juliana's vlog? Well, through listening to what she had to say in the vlog I linked above, I was inspired by her saying to keep our eyes on Christ and He will guide us through it all, even the darkest of times. I am in no way trying to make light of the cross or situation but am reminded of the saying I read over the honeymoon that is attributed to St. Philip Neri: "Bear the cross and do not make the cross bear you". Wow....what a powerful statement. Yes, there is a time for sadness and a time for grieving but we can't lose hope. Don't let the anxiety/infertility/doubt/insecurity/sadness/addiction/you fill in the blank weigh you down but instead, lean in and shoulder that cross and carry it with hope. Don't lose the faith and hope and rely on others if need be to pull you up but have trust and faith in God that He will, as Juliana so eloquently states, see you through it and make straight your paths!! Proverbs 3:6!!!
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