Monday, May 24, 2021

Sixth Anniversary Gifts - Iron & Candy

Today was our sixth wedding anniversary which is the Iron and Candy year.

Charlotte was so excited to celebrate all day long as a family! 
These photos were snapped as she patiently waited for us to get ready to go on our anniversary surprise. 
I told her today that she was Daddy's and my best wedding gift and that God gave her to us as a wedding present. ❤️

Last night, we took Charlotte mini golfing at a new place that had just opened near our town. I am not a golfer but I grew up with a dad and three brothers who went any chance they could get. Therefore, when brainstorming iron themed gifts or outings, I thought going to the new mini golfing place would be perfect! Besides, Wikipedia has this to say regarding Iron and golf. 

An iron is a type of club used in the sport of golf to propel the ball towards the hole. ... Irons are the most common type of club; a standard set of 14 golf clubs will usually contain between 7 and 11 irons, including wedges.

What does this have to do with marriage? Well, using the iron, or type of club, takes precision, observation, and patience as you hone your skill and take turns in a give and take sort of flow. What a great metaphor in applying these same ideas to marriage and family! 






So back to this morning, Adam prepared a yummy breakfast of (candied) bacon marmalade egg on toast to go with my sweet Chocolate Macadamia Nut coffee. Do you sense the theme yet?

As Charlotte, Mom, Adam, and I enjoyed breakfast, we opened the anniversary cards from one of my brothers and from Mom. It was fun to reminisce about what we were doing six years ago today throughout the day. I then presented Adam with his gift. I asked if he had any guesses and tried to throw him off with saying he had recently acquired some new clothes and did he need to iron them? I asked how his vitamins taste... Is the iron vitamin a fruity or otherwise sweet flavor and did I get him some? Did he need another cast iron skillet? He didn't seem to believe my suggestions as to what his gift might be. 

However, he seemed genuinely surprised and grateful by the latest cooking gadget saying he had been wanting one for a while when he did open the real gift. 😊

Next, it was time to do the experiential part of the anniversary gift I had planned for all of us. Remember, this anniversary'gifts are meant to be based on both iron and candy. Any guesses on where we went after a 48 minute drive? The destination was on Adams Ave. in Canonsburg, Pennsylvania. 



We went to a candy store in Pennsylvania to celebrate the sweet part of this year's anniversary theme. I had heard of Sarris Candy through school fundraisers but we had never been to the store or the attached ice cream parlor until today. What a treat it was!! 




Check out this massive chocolate candy castle! 




After purchasing some candy to take home with us, we ordered our ice cream desserts. The portions were huge and the ice cream was oh so creamy and good! Charlotte had vanilla with rainbow sprinkles, Mom had a small sundae, Adam had a banana split, and I enjoyed a scoop of peanut butter cookie dough and Bear Trax which was vanilla ice cream with small peanut butter cups and ribbons of chocolate in it. YUM! 



We enjoyed sitting outside in the sun but definitely needed to cool off in the car once we had our fill of the ice cream. On the way home, we stopped at the local park where a Story Walk had been set up to try to walk off some of the sweet treats we had enjoyed. 





The story was about seeds and how they grow. I couldn't help but think about how Adam's and my story started with a tiny seed or spark on 10/21/13 that has grown over time as has Charlotte. I then consider the story of the mustard seed and how sometimes the things that seem so ordinary, so small, so seemingly insignificant can grow to be magnificent, larger than we could ever dream, and inspiring! Iron is strong and can sharpen and be refined much as how marriage can go through trials, come under fire, and hopefully emerge stronger than ever. At the same time, love is sweet and whimsical which was one of the describing words that popped in my head at the candy store when we first entered. Six years in and I still remember the sweetness Adam displayed in those early days of courtship. Making or preparing a recipe, such as that for a particular type of candy, can take time and careful attention to detail. The same can be said about marriage. May Adam's and my commitment to one another and our family be strong like iron and may it be sweet and peaceful for not only the two of us but also for our greatest (and usually, sweetest) wedding gift! 


Sunday, May 23, 2021

Year 5 Anniversary Gifts

Last year, I composed a post that lumped together the first five years of anniversary gifts. I don't think I ever returned to describe what Adam and I gave one another for our fifth anniversary. We were going to pick out silverware together since it was the Wood and Silverware year. We wound up being too indecisive and didn't want to spend so much money on eating utensils...who knew they would be so expensive!?

So, instead, we surprised one another with smaller and more meaningful gifts. I gave Adam a personalized spoon and mug. At the time, I had pictured his using the mug someday and placing it on his teacher desk in the future.


Adam bought chimes to hang on our front porch that look like wooden chimes. My mom has chimes on her front porch so the dainty twinkling sounds from the chimes remind me of home. We actually left them up year round and all throughout the year, the delicate clink and musical bell sounds reminded me of the sweet anticipation of our wedding day each time I heard them.

Today is now our sixth wedding anniversary (Iron to signify strength and Candy which represents sweetness) and the Feast of Pentecost. Pentecost occurs fifty days after Easter and reminds us we always have an Advocate through the Holy Spirit. Just like in the days leading up to our wedding, Adam and I have been praying a novena, or nine day prayer, together that wraps up today. This year, we prayed the Pentecost Novena. It was nice to go back to some of the traditions we enjoyed when dating in this way by praying a special prayer with intention together as a couple these last several days. Charlotte Annie even joined in when we had to do some of the prayers virtually while she and I were in PA for our annual Mother-Daughter Trip. 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law.” ~ Galatians 5:22–23

May we continue to attempt to have our marriage bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit through showing all the above gifts...there certainly are so many opportunities and chances to lean into and cultivate them throughout the vocation of marriage and family!

The highway plant life, especially in Pennsylvania, that has been abundantly growing at the moment boasts these beautiful wildflowers that served as the inspiration for our light green and light purple wedding colors. Seeing the white flowers peppered in there remind me of the white we associate with the wedding gown.

Today's gorgeous sunny weather is also very similar to the weather we experienced together six short years ago. As I sat outside with the rising morning sun, the following prayer illuminated my heart. 

Thank you, Lord, for this beautiful, messy, challenging, and sanctifying vocation of marriage. Come, Holy Spirit, and strengthen us in love as it is a daily (and sometimes minute by minute) choice to do so, help us to lean into joy by stepping into the sun dappled areas of our lives so we can feel your warmth amidst the shadows or areas of confusion, grant us calming quiet peace like the leaves softly fluttering in the warm summer breeze, provide us with buckets upon buckets overflowing with the refreshing waters of patience on a hot late May morning, help us to treat one another with kindness taking care to gently remove any gnarled or twisted underbrush, clear the path and give us the eyes to see goodness in one another and all around us - - take away any blinders, distrust, or "I can do it my own way" feelings so we can increase in mutual self giving love and reliance on you, Lord, and in one another because marriage takes three (you, Lord, my spouse, and me) and may we continue to always experience faithfulness with one another as husband and wife. Lord, teach us to be more like children and in their tender wide-eyed wonder way of looking at the world, help us to be gentle with the other's heart while also enflaming it to continue burning with love for you, Lord, as we daily strive toward and arrempt to help one another get to Heaven. May this be evident in our actions, including displaying self-control in picking up...and carrying...our crosses with humility and sacrificial love. Let us seek to embody all aspects of Galatians 5:22–23 both personally and within our marriage. Amen.


I don't believe it's an accident that those scripture passage numbers align with our wedding anniversary date weekend (05.23.15). ❤️




Wednesday, May 5, 2021

Head in the clouds with feet firmly on the ground

Seven years ago today, I remember waking up amidst the clouds literally on top of Denver, Colorado. My first thought as I awoke was, "Did that really happen?!" as I recalled the previous night's events of Adam proposing after mass in a cathedral in downtown Denver. We were staying with my friend, Doris, in her apartment that was in one of the skyscrapers of Denver. Majestic views of the mountains and the city around us greeted us as the brilliant sunshine shone on everything, including our giddy selves as we marveled at being newly engaged.

Today, I awoke thanks to barking dogs who were eager to go outside and who always wake me to help them with this task. 🐶🐕 As I slowly came to consciousness from a dream-filled sleep, I felt grounded by a heavy weight and for good reason. Charlotte had crawled into our bed in the middle of the night unbeknownst to me and lay sprawled perpendicular to me on top of my feet and lower half of my legs. One of my arms was tucked in under Adam's back so for as much as I felt the warm body weight of Charlotte down by my ankles, I felt the same sort of pressure on my hand and lower arm.
I couldn't help but think of how extraordinarily different the waking up on this morning was seven years ago compared to today. Seven years ago, I was on vacation exploring a new city as an engaged woman looking forward to that night's margaritas. This morning, as I put the pups out and quietly got ready so Adam and Charlotte could sleep in a little more, I thought ahead to the back to back meetings that would take place from 9am through 2pm and beyond...to knowing the day was not going to end until I came home at 6pm. How fitting for the last official day of classes to feel so long and extra busy during a semester that exemplified those characteristics!

However, waking up to today's responsibilities, and literally feeling the weight of it all as I awoke, which felt like such a stark contrast to the floating amidst the clouds and walking on sunshine feeling seven years ago, I wouldn't trade a thing! The giddy early days of engagement led to the joy-filled bustling family life days of now. I am literally lower here than I was amidst the Rockies back then but it keeps me grounded and is the "why" behind what I do. I'm glad to have the tangible and physical reminder at the start of the day of feeling the physical presence of Charlotte Annie and her Daddy because it is why I get out of bed. It is why I keep going even when it feels like there is not enough time to do it all. It is why I keep trying each day to do the next right thing. It is why, as a MotherScholar, I persevere. It is why I persevere when I fall short. It is why I try to provide as best as I can. They both hold the biggest pieces of my heart and take up a lot of my thoughts, energy, love, effort, and are the reminders for the reasons I do what I do.

So that was my frame of mind as I left the house and left Adam, Charlotte, and the pups behind to start their days without me as I drove to school on the last day of classes in what seemed to be an extra looooooong semester. 🏫

Today was also the first time that Adam and I had a miscommunication that resulted in neither of us picking up Charlotte from school today on time.   🙈

When I realized what happened, much like seven years ago, my first thought was, "Did that really happen?" I felt horrible for this snafu but Charlotte seemed to enjoy helping her teacher to "clean" while she waited for Daddy to get her. She also had a busy afternoon of both ballet and music classes to help make up for the extra time spent at school.  👧

It's time to tackle the mountain of grading in efforts to stay ahead of the incoming finals week.  I have fallen behind in email communication amidst all the advising appointments and meetings that have been taking up all the time during these last days of the semester.  

However, I was moved to tears when a special email came through from a former student tonight. The email was from one of the helpers from Ministry to Moms when we were in Austria two years ago. She had completed her artifact of working with Charlotte for her ePortfolio and wanted to show it to me.  Charlotte was two when we first arrived in Austria and turned three halfway through that semester.  Marcie watched Charlotte for me so I could lead a small group through Women's Ministry. I was so thankful for her then so I could spiritually mother the small group of women who gathered in our home each week to unpack The Friendship Project and I'm so thankful to her now as she sent me this video that reassures me that when Adam or I are not with her, she's in good hands! Like today when she had the extra time with her super understanding and supportive teacher at her school, based on these video snippets, she seems quite comfortable and fine with others who provide TLC when we are occupied.

What a special experience for Charlotte to grow up amidst college students (who are studying to be teachers and have a natural love for working with children) and to spend so much time on a college campus both stateside and abroad in this big world in which we live! It's a happy add-on as I seek to fulfil another "why" behind what I do in meeting the needs of my spiritual children through the students I serve in my job whether it be through volunteering, teaching, Women's Ministry, or advising. Receiving emails like tonight's that conveyed gratitude for spending time with my family and saying she missed Charlotte helps me to see that just maybe, the two roles of MotherScholar don't have to be viewed as being in complete direct opposition to one another but can be coexist and mutually benefit the different groups of Charlotte's needs and my students' needs as they work in tandem alongside each other.  💕

Enjoy this peek into one of Charlotte's friendships with a college friend!



Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Water imagery has been so powerful for me lately...

How has it been two years since this magical trip with Sha and seven years since Adam proposed? 

Time keeps marching on and I am thankful for the love of friendship and spousal love. 

Facebook memories also tells me a former best friend shared this quote with me on this day ten years ago back in 2011. It seems fitting today, too. ❤️

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain 

Today is also the feast day of St. Florian: a martyr who died in Austria. He has been invoked as a powerful protector in danger from fire or water. 

That seems fitting as I visited the city that was built on water with Sha on his feast day and my heart burned with love in a different way for Adam (remember Fr. Jack's homily, those who attended our wedding mass?) as he asked me to be his wife. 

This photo is from when Adam proposed in Denver, Colorado! 

Lately, I have been meditating on forgiveness and imagery of water. My feelings and thoughts are loud like the waves crashing to shore. They are turbulent and have me feeling as if I am being tossed about to and from within the ocean. It feels as if a storm is about to erupt over me as I try to remain afloat. I think of God reaching out and pulling me out of the water of confusion, doubt, and negative self-talk. The ocean immediately settles down as feelings of calm, quiet, and peace wash over me. 

As I imagine what it must be like to pull out someone from deep waters with wet hair plastered to her face, and adding more heavy weight than already exists, I marvel at God's strength and desire to want to lift me out of the water. 

God's arm is not too short to save me! - - Isaiah 59:1

Through His kindness and forgiveness, He hands me a towel to dry off and wring out every last drop from the sopping soaking dripping wet water from head down to toe. He is my anchor and sets me on firm ground. 

As the towel begins to get heavy and wet from drying off the now cleansing water, I begin to feel lighter and lighter. The towel is Jesus. He takes on all so that I may be dry and whole again.

Lord, keep me under the umbrella of your protection and let the graces of your forgiving love and healing cascade down as hurts, anger, rejection, distraction, and numbing fall away...give me a heart that continues to burn with love in spite of what life throws my way. ☔

Sha & St. Florian, pray for us.