When packing up for this semester away from home, I took advantage of the opportunity to organize the bathroom closet the day before we left the United States. I brought over with us an assortment of small shampoo and conditioner bottles, half used lotion and unopened shower gels, and three small containers of perfume without much thinking about it. In my efforts to try to finally get through the small dispensers and avoid packing heavy full sized amounts of these toiletry items, I actually packed some pretty nostalgic scents!
In the last two weeks, there has been such a feeling of satisfaction of going through and using the small items that had moved around with me during the last couple moves (i.e., from NC to PA then to OH then from the house I rented my first year in Steubenville to the first home Adam and I shared as man and wife). It feels as if I'm purging and cleansing myself of "extras" even though it seems minor as they are just travel sized items from hotel stays, stocking stuffers from Christmas gifts over the years, and so forth. I can already feel the impact of living with a minimalist attitude and I hope to bring that back to the US with me when our time here is complete. There is no need to have three bottles of bubble bath in the closet or have five hair gels. The grocery store is one traffic light from our house and we make multiple runs in a month. Those items will always be within easy reach and I really want to try to reduce clutter which I would think will be easier to do after having had a semester of using the same things over and over...that is what I predict anyway!
No matter the time that goes by, some things don't leave you and for me in the last couple of weeks, this has taken on the form of scents and I'm grateful to have the sense of smell. You may be laughing but I dated a guy once who couldn't smell. He had never been able to smell, I kid you not! In thinking about the parts of our body and ripple effect strengths or weaknesses of our body parts can have, we heard in today's second reading from 1 Cor 12: 12-30:
As a body is on through it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one Body, so also Christ......But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended....Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.
So we hear that all parts of the body work together...where there is one lack or weakness, another helps to compensate for it perhaps or may also be weak. There are so many ways to interpret this and many usually think of how we all, collectively make up the Church. We all have unique callings and gifts to bring to the table. We should recognize the value in others and serve and help others who may be less fortunate and this is all true. However, I couldn't help but think of the above passage in a different way. Everything is placed within us for a reason...for a purpose...for an intention as God created us.
Yet I'm left wondering what does that mean when it comes to weaknesses, deformities, disabilities, missed pieces of the puzzle? Is it because I'm a special educator I'm wondering these? Is it due to personal lived experiences? Why would God intend for that weakness? Why would He design our bodies in that way? Why are some born with all and some born with less? Is it to recognize talents and gifts in other ways? Am I more of a visual person due to having hearing loss? Would I not have been in to detail as much as I am otherwise? Would someone who is nonverbal have more of an impact on others in his or her life as a result of living life in that way than had he/she been able to communicate via spoken language? Do others in the life of someone with paralysis appreciate their own mobility that much more due to being around the individual with paralysis? Perhaps eyes are opened more due to the influences of their own weaknesses or being around others with their weaknesses...
This section in particular resonated with me today: Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this.
What does this mean?? Looking at my body and thinking of weaknesses, I automatically default to the fact that I no longer have a womb...no longer have a uterus to be the weakest as it is nonexistent thanks to being taken away so suddenly after Charlotte's arrival into this world. Is the uterus all the more necessary because of our desire to want to have a large family? It can't physically happen through me as we had planned...am I surrounding that part of me that is no more with greater honor? One could say yes when considering how much grief and despair losing it has caused me. Is my staying stuck on this sad fact causing me to treat this weak part with being fixated on how it should have been...how the right thing would be to have things be the way they were when I could conceive and bear children?? These thoughts were swirling around in my head as we stood up to listen to the gospel. During the homily, Fr. Jonathan, who knows nothing of my story, uttered the following words:
"Some of us might be sad inside
but we are still called to celebrate/proclaim the Good News!
Today is a day to rejoice!
Allow joy to radiate from your life today.
There are so many reasons to be sad yet we are called to rejoice (anyway)!
Be filled with joy and strength. Let your face be formed by the joy of your heart. Ask the Lord to transform the obstacle or whatever is bringing you sadness in your life."
Well, if that isn't a charge to get up, brush the dust off, and keep moving forward in spite of weaker parts of you, or what you perceive to be weaker aspects to you, then I don't know what is. Sooo, it may seem trivial but back to the sense of smell...I have been extra thankful these last few days for it due to my quickly packing of three nostalgic scents without really meaning to when prepping for this semester!
I have been using a small bottle of my favorite perfume from when I was in 10th grade (no, the perfume was not that old but I had purchased it when I came across it recently). During my middle and high school years, when I had first switched to public school and no longer needed to wear school uniforms, I was an avid shopper at The Gap. The store had also sold perfume and one scent, in particular, was a favorite of mine. "Dream" is hard to describe but has a unique scent all its own. Here is a description of it that I found online: Launched in 1995, floral perfume of freesia and osmanthus.
Well, I just finished that small bottle the other day. So out came another tiny bottle of perfume left over from Adam's and my engagement. The tiny blue bottle of "Forever Midnight" from Bath and Body Works had been a by the cash register purchase as they were on sale at a $1 a pop when I was shopping for antibacterial handsoaps and small lotions to put in the wedding bags I made for family and friends who were part of the wedding party. I wound up using that small bottle of perfume when I flew back and forth from California during our engagement and during our first two Christmases out there when pregnant and when taking Charlotte out to meet her West Coast family for the first time. The perfume had been left behind in my suitcase so I stumbled upon it when unpacking the suitcase here in Austria. There was hardly any left but wearing it the last few days reminded me of those first couple flights to Adam's home. I used up the last of that perfume yesterday. It was a great scent as it lasted all day but was not overpowering at all! I think the best way to describe it is vanilla musk but not a strong sweet vanilla but more of a woodsy subtle scent of it. Amazon, however, describes it this way....and is selling a teeny tiny bottle of it for $48!?
Midnight: the hour of undeniable chemistry. A spark of sensual Plum Nectar ignites the thrilling heart of Midnight Jasmine and Vanilla Orchid, velvety florals that bloom sexiest after dark with a hint of seductive spice. The final rush of intoxicating Caramel Liqueur creates the ultimate collision of fragrance and passion.
This morning, I remembered that at the last minute, I had packed an oil that had been in the bathroom closet "just in case" I would run out of the perfume. Well, two weeks in, here are are! This particular scent goes all the way back to upper elementary school when I spent some time with Aunt Maureen in Provincetown and Cape Truro, MA which is part of Cape Cod. She and I stumbled upon an oil called, "Rain", that my Mom also grew to love. Off and on from the mid 90s throughout high school, Mom, Aunt Maureen, or I might have a roll on perfumed oil of that scent buried somewhere in a purse or a bookbag. Since it was an oil, it lasted forever since a little bit went a long way. This is a description I found online of it:
Rain Perfume Essence is a crystalline fragrance derived from nature itself with notes of green clover, lily of the valley and sheer musk create a sense of fresh, renewing clarity, and unity.
Once I didn't go back to Cape Cod for summer trips on a regular basis, I figured that the days of "Rain" were gone....until I found the scent at a small "hippie type" shop in Harrisburg! My friend, Nick, knew I liked the scent and ended up picking up a bottle for me once as a small gift after I had moved away from Harrisburg and that's what is now currently in Austria with me. So, each morning when I put a dab of that familiar scent in this new community and land, I am reminded of the kindness of friends and great memories with family at the beach.
I wonder if I will eventually associate a scent with where we are and decades later when I catch a whiff of it, if it will take me back to right now?!
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