Seven years ago today, I remember waking up amidst the clouds literally on top of Denver, Colorado. My first thought as I awoke was, "Did that really happen?!" as I recalled the previous night's events of Adam proposing after mass in a cathedral in downtown Denver. We were staying with my friend, Doris, in her apartment that was in one of the skyscrapers of Denver. Majestic views of the mountains and the city around us greeted us as the brilliant sunshine shone on everything, including our giddy selves as we marveled at being newly engaged.
Today, I awoke thanks to barking dogs who were eager to go outside and who always wake me to help them with this task. 🐶🐕 As I slowly came to consciousness from a dream-filled sleep, I felt grounded by a heavy weight and for good reason. Charlotte had crawled into our bed in the middle of the night unbeknownst to me and lay sprawled perpendicular to me on top of my feet and lower half of my legs. One of my arms was tucked in under Adam's back so for as much as I felt the warm body weight of Charlotte down by my ankles, I felt the same sort of pressure on my hand and lower arm.
I couldn't help but think of how extraordinarily different the waking up on this morning was seven years ago compared to today. Seven years ago, I was on vacation exploring a new city as an engaged woman looking forward to that night's margaritas. This morning, as I put the pups out and quietly got ready so Adam and Charlotte could sleep in a little more, I thought ahead to the back to back meetings that would take place from 9am through 2pm and beyond...to knowing the day was not going to end until I came home at 6pm. How fitting for the last official day of classes to feel so long and extra busy during a semester that exemplified those characteristics!
However, waking up to today's responsibilities, and literally feeling the weight of it all as I awoke, which felt like such a stark contrast to the floating amidst the clouds and walking on sunshine feeling seven years ago, I wouldn't trade a thing! The giddy early days of engagement led to the joy-filled bustling family life days of now. I am literally lower here than I was amidst the Rockies back then but it keeps me grounded and is the "why" behind what I do. I'm glad to have the tangible and physical reminder at the start of the day of feeling the physical presence of Charlotte Annie and her Daddy because it is why I get out of bed. It is why I keep going even when it feels like there is not enough time to do it all. It is why I keep trying each day to do the next right thing. It is why, as a MotherScholar, I persevere. It is why I persevere when I fall short. It is why I try to provide as best as I can. They both hold the biggest pieces of my heart and take up a lot of my thoughts, energy, love, effort, and are the reminders for the reasons I do what I do.
So that was my frame of mind as I left the house and left Adam, Charlotte, and the pups behind to start their days without me as I drove to school on the last day of classes in what seemed to be an extra looooooong semester. 🏫
Today was also the first time that Adam and I had a miscommunication that resulted in neither of us picking up Charlotte from school today on time. 🙈
When I realized what happened, much like seven years ago, my first thought was, "Did that really happen?" I felt horrible for this snafu but Charlotte seemed to enjoy helping her teacher to "clean" while she waited for Daddy to get her. She also had a busy afternoon of both ballet and music classes to help make up for the extra time spent at school. 👧
It's time to tackle the mountain of grading in efforts to stay ahead of the incoming finals week. I have fallen behind in email communication amidst all the advising appointments and meetings that have been taking up all the time during these last days of the semester.
However, I was moved to tears when a special email came through from a former student tonight. The email was from one of the helpers from Ministry to Moms when we were in Austria two years ago. She had completed her artifact of working with Charlotte for her ePortfolio and wanted to show it to me. Charlotte was two when we first arrived in Austria and turned three halfway through that semester. Marcie watched Charlotte for me so I could lead a small group through Women's Ministry. I was so thankful for her then so I could spiritually mother the small group of women who gathered in our home each week to unpack The Friendship Project and I'm so thankful to her now as she sent me this video that reassures me that when Adam or I are not with her, she's in good hands! Like today when she had the extra time with her super understanding and supportive teacher at her school, based on these video snippets, she seems quite comfortable and fine with others who provide TLC when we are occupied.
What a special experience for Charlotte to grow up amidst college students (who are studying to be teachers and have a natural love for working with children) and to spend so much time on a college campus both stateside and abroad in this big world in which we live! It's a happy add-on as I seek to fulfil another "why" behind what I do in meeting the needs of my spiritual children through the students I serve in my job whether it be through volunteering, teaching, Women's Ministry, or advising. Receiving emails like tonight's that conveyed gratitude for spending time with my family and saying she missed Charlotte helps me to see that just maybe, the two roles of MotherScholar don't have to be viewed as being in complete direct opposition to one another but can be coexist and mutually benefit the different groups of Charlotte's needs and my students' needs as they work in tandem alongside each other. 💕
Enjoy this peek into one of Charlotte's friendships with a college friend!
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