New title!

Mother.


Wife.


Professor/Teacher/Instructor/Teacher's Assistant/Graduate Assistant/Doctor.


Daughter/Daughter-in-Law


Aunt.


Godmother.


Coach.


Volunteer.



Tutor.



Tutee.



Babysitter.


Housecleaner.


Sandwich Artist.


Student.


Newspaper Carrier.


Sister.


Niece.


Dreamer.


Granddaughter.


Cheerleader.


Writer.


Researcher.


(Behind the scenes) Actor in high school play.


Cousin.



Stranger.


Catholic.


Honor Society Secretary.


Friend.



I've been known by many different titles or roles (and others I'm probably forgetting at the moment) over the years.  This week, a new title was added to the list!  I'll share what it is with you in a moment but let me set the scene for you first.

Days before the world stopped because of COVID-19, a sought after job at work I had been super excited about was taken off the table and the dreams I had for that role came to a screeching halt.  I learned the disappointing news that I hadn't been selected for something I had applied for, Spring Break happened, the unexpected news broke that we were moving all of our classes to the online format, then I had to rush home for an indefinite amount of time due to Dad's declining health as I learned how serious things really were from my big brother, Brian's, phone call after my Dad was rushed to the hospital for the last time.  All this occurred as the pandemic swirled all around us.  In the midst of all these things happening, I should have missed an email that was sent out from the Council for Christian Colleges & Universities but somehow and thankfully that email did not slip through the cracks. The newsletter that gets automatically sent to me as a worker at a religious institution contained information about an inaugural research seminar for faculty at Christian universities that would be unfolding come Fall 2020.  I read over the details and was immensely intrigued.  I shared the information with Adam who had the same reaction as when I had shared details about the job I had not obtained with him in December:  "This sounds like a perfect fit for you!"

So, after praying and considering it, I went for it.  Happening fresh on the rejection of the other job, I figured well, what do I have to lose? I drafted what I wanted to say in the essay when not busy emergency converting my four classes to online classes, teaching in a whole new and unexpected way, caring for my parents (and Charlotte when she was with me), and wrapping up the student groups/ministries I oversee from a distance for the year.  I'm thankful Adam was supportive and understanding when my head (and heart) seemed to be in a million other places than home most of the time.

All this led to my hitting "Submit" at 1:25am on April 17th.







The same day that everything stopped for my family and me in the middle of a world that was already faltering and stumbling.





Even now, 80 days since my big, strong, hero of a father breathed his last shallow breath one early Friday morning as the sun slowly grew in brightness....I can hardly believe this darkness that has settled so thickly over us when Dad officially slipped from this world. 





Yet, there have been pinpricks of light peeking and blinking through - like the lightning bugs we see as dusk settles at the end of each of these long summer days.  Small tiny flickers of hope keep us at bay or at least putting one foot in front of the other as we feel our way through the dark.

 




During some of my Dad's and my last conversations we spoke about work, sharing of talents and gifts, prudence, obstacles, being wanted and appreciated, persistence, "doing it anyway", definitions of what exactly is spectacular in the context of a life (well) lived, and disappointments we all face at one point or another in our lives.  We also spoke of satisfaction, gratitude, happiness, personal fulfillment, a day's hard work, resilience, fortitude, and service as I told him about this opportunity.



In the wee hours of April 17th, I submitted the application after working on it while sitting at Dad's bedside then turned to Mark who was taking the next shift.  I asked if he would mind if I laid down for a few hours.  By 2am I was in bed only to be awoken by Patrick at 5:45am. Dad passed shortly after 6am later in the morning.  All went dark and numb someplace deep inside of me at that moment.  Yet, the room continued to get brighter and brighter as the sun rose.  The shadows return each night but the sun comes each day (Psalm 30:5 & 30:11).


In the hustle and bustle of everything that happens after the unthinkable does, I moved away from the disappointment and hurt of not getting the job as I focused on suddenly more important and pressing things such as end of life issues, what's happening next, and trying to wrap up the semester while prepping for a busy summer semester.  In hindsight, I'm thankful things were so busy to give me a sense of direction in spite of the dark.

I dove head first into teaching two summer (online) classes and fell into the rhythm of living out of my duffel bag as Charlotte and I shuffled from Pennsylvania to Ohio to Delaware to Pennsylvania to Ohio to Pennsylvania to Ohio and well, you get the idea.

In a sense I did what I did ten years ago when I received the rejection email to an application I had submitted in applying to be a fellow for a university to study research special education/deafness.  However, because of that rejection, I was instead granted an assistantship at the university I had applied to and still wound up moving south and starting over in pursuing a dream I didn't think I would work on so early in life.  Living in North Carolina for four years, and after creating a CatholicMatch profile, I met and fell in love with my now husband at the end of that journey - - not to mention I also encountered beautiful faith-filled friendships and grew from amazing spiritual direction from a beloved priest.

So, in pondering the news I received last week, I now realize I had to go through yet another rejection before something else (maybe better) was presented to me!  Admittedly another faith-filled friend and my mother both said as much to me in early March. The no at work led to a yes in being a scholar in faith-based research....incredible!  I have to admit the positive news I received last week felt a bit like redemptive restoration of the no I had received ten years ago.  I can just imagine the smile on my Dad's face and the quiet look of pride if I were to tell him about this set of recent events.  Are you curious yet about this new title!??  =)


Okay, let's get on with it and fast forward to last week...as I was waiting for a virtual work meeting to start, an email popped up in my inbox letting me know I received some news.  The news was that I am now a High-Impact Scholar!  :)  What in the world does this mean you ask??

Well, this honor of being a High-Impact Scholar is through the Best Practices in Christian Higher Education:  A Cohort-Based Research Seminar Series that is taking place through Abilene Christian University and the Council for Christian Colleges & Universities (ACU & CCCU)!

This two-year, cohort-based research seminar examines critical features of student success with a special emphasis on developing, implementing, and assessing high-impact practices with regards to their professional development opportunities as pre-service educators. 

The work produced through the seminars, plus submissions from a broader call, will be presented at a biennial conference hosted at ACU. Additionally, ACU Press will work to produce an edited volume featuring the most relevant papers from the cohort.

I was selected as a High-Impact Scholar for the inaugural Cultivating Engaged Learners Through First-Year Experiences: Seminar 1 and will participate in a cohort of 12 scholars.

My research will examine the First-Year Experience of Education Majors in our program.  While I am involved in many different service opportunities through my various roles at the university, my focus will be on the work I do through a professional development workshop series I created for the education majors several years ago called Teachable Moments. 

Additionally, I created an online group through Blackboard (the university's learning management system) to foster a sense of community among the education majors. I am most interested in researching the impact of these items on first year students and possibly investigating the creation of a mentorship program to connect first year students with juniors or seniors within the Education Program. I was advisor to a senior education major's honors project that enacted a mentoring program for a semester a number of years ago and definitely think it could be advantageous to bring it back for our students.  

I will investigate these ideas to see what impact professional development, online resources, and service opportunities, both in Ohio and abroad, has on the first year students. 

Are they more likely to return to the university? 

Do they take on more active roles as students and become leaders through participating in these initiatives? 

I am so very excited to research this further to try to find the answers to these questions to better tailor programming to maximize effectiveness and retention of first year students.  

Part of this research will require auditing a newly designed course as I gauge the first year experiences of incoming freshmen and/or transfer education majors to Franciscan so I'm grateful for the learning opportunities that will come with auditing that course in addition to the research.  

The ACU & CCCU are in agreement that focusing on Teachable Moments Professional Development Workshop Series as an area of research or topic would allow me to further refine this series for the students. I plan to connect with other institutions and tap into the resources they offer their students through being a member of this inaugural cohort. Some ideas that have been discussed are to possibly link up our pre-service teachers as virtual pen pals to talk about their experiences as first year education majors at their respective institutions! There is also the possibility of sharing online professional development resources, such as, giving presentations and sharing information with one another, if virtual workshops are created as a result of this research.

Teachable Moments embraces my university’s mission by encouraging education majors to seek out professional development, to contribute to the dialogue, and to engage in ways they can transform themselves as pre-service teachers to scholar-practitioners so they can better meet the needs of their future or current students. The group I created for the Education Program on Blackboard creates a community for education majors and faculty and shares online resources and tools. In a sense, this group is helping to rebuild and shape the first year experiences of the students by providing them with more resources along the way that they can utilize during the first year and refer back to time and time again which is very similar to the new vision and format of the revised course.

My cohort will meet for two intensive workshops to focus on one specific practice (e.g., first-year experience, service learning, study abroad, etc.) and examine the impact and implementation in Christian higher education. After the three-day workshops, it is expected that I will engage in the research I described above at my university during year # 2.

The first workshop will take place in early October in Abilene, Texas. The second will be in late May at the university’s Dallas campus.  I will present my research alongside other presenters at a national conference hosted in Texas in Fall 2022. It is during this conference that I will be able to share my findings and institutional practices will be showcased.  Additionally, I will have the opportunity to submit my work to be considered for inclusion in an edited volume published by ACU Press.

As a High-Impact Scholar, I will have the unique opportunity to learn from ACU’s national leadership in high-impact practices and collaborate with faculty and staff from various institutions across the nation to produce work that will be a significant contribution to scholarship of Christian higher education.  The purpose of this research seminar series is to investigate creative and innovative evidence-based practices, which will enhance the learning experiences of students across the nation. The creators of this research seminar series have shared they are looking forward to hearing ideas from High-Impact Scholars and collaborating on this exciting opportunity to spur one another on in raising up future Christian servants and leaders for the sake of the kingdom of God.  It is such a huge honor to be selected and I can’t wait to serve as a High-Impact Scholar over the next two years!  As I had mentioned to a dear friend the other day, I had been prepared to spend the next four years working out of professional development through the job I had applied for so being a part of this cohort instead will allow me to focus on that same topic for the next two years but for a different audience:  our pre-service teachers - - which is just as rewarding and exciting to me!  Just like not getting the fellowship in 2010 paved the way for the assistantship I was offered instead, it feels as if the preparation for what I thought was going to be my path for the next four years was really getting me ready for this next phase of my research over the next two years!  Well, played, God, well played!  (Proverbs 3: 5-6).  ; )

Immediately after receiving the news by email last week, my work meeting started.  Charlotte was still sleeping so I quickly went as far away in the house as I could to keep from waking her during the meeting.  It wasn't until after the work meeting had ended, when I realized that I was where this particular journey had had its beginning.  I was on my parents' bed, on the side where Dad had so often laid and back in the same room where I had submitted the essay so late at night.  It was then that my eyes were opened to the date I had actually applied..up until that moment I had been thinking I had applied at some point over Spring Break or early on during COVID-19 as many things from that part of the semester are blurring together for me......but as I stared at the April 17th date of the essay submission on the paper in front of me, it suddenly registered that this was one of the things I had done at Dad's bedside the very last night of his life.  


The numbers blurred quickly on the paper in my lap as the tears immediately sprang up and freely flowed no matter how hard I tried to stop crying..the acute and ever present grief and deep profound missing of my Dad, the best man I knew, was more apparent than ever in that moment.  It was at that precise moment that I fully absorbed that this is the first HUGE piece of news I have received in my life that I can't tell Dad about....but he already knows - - -  I have to believe that.  

I suppose I forgot a title at the start of this writing.

Believer.