Remaining in Hope: A reflection on John 19:38 - 20:18

The below is something I wrote for Springs in the Desert's Lenten Series that wrapped up this week as we celebrate Easter. Given today being Divine Mercy Sunday, I thought it was appropriate to share the below reflection for today. 

The others left the tomb but Mary Magdalene stayed. She wept and was filled with sorrow, yet she remained. Then she turned around, and Jesus was there, but she did not recognize Him. Thinking He was the gardener, she inquired as to where the body was. She remained hopeful even in the worst of times. When Mary Magdalene’s eyes were opened and she realized Jesus was standing before her, she obeyed when He instructed her to let go of Him.

She had to detach herself. She had to let fall away all that she knew to be able to accept and embrace this new reality. What a role model she is in obedience and then in sharing the news with the others as commanded!

How can we be more like Mary Magdalene? Perhaps we need to ask God to help us to as He does…to seek wisdom. While many may not willingly desire or lean into suffering in their lives, look at how Mary Magdalene suffered before finding herself restored in Jesus and in joy! Perhaps this is why she was so relentless in her waiting by the tomb. She displayed an utter trust in God for she knew He had not forsaken her.

Neither has He forsaken us in our own lives. We are called to obey even when we do not understand why and perhaps especially more so when it comes to suffering. God has promised He will redeem our sorrow and that no one will be able to take our joy from us. Additionally, we must recall that it is not necessarily the suffering itself, but rather, how we suffered, that really counts.

Yes, Mary Magdalene was deeply distressed and in sorrow at the tomb but she suffered with grace and humility. She allowed herself to be detached and to let Jesus go (again). Isn’t that how living with infertility goes? Each month, after another cycle occurs, letting go may occur bit by bit. Each day, when the call from the adoption agency doesn’t occur, letting go may occur. Yet, we can consciously choose to face these sufferings with grace and humility.

May we run to the heart of Our Father and truly know that Jesus is right alongside us, weeping with us just as He stood so near to Mary Magdalene before she recognized Him. Absolutely nothing is wasted. What if our hands are too full holding on to something, or someone, so tightly that God is unable to give us what He desires to give us? Could it be that suffering’s role is to try to empty our hands? What is God teaching us? He is constantly making all things new!

Tilling a garden takes a lot of hard work. It may involve plowing, moving a lot of dirt, and planting seeds which take some time to grow. However, bit by bit, what seemed barren and lifeless can begin to teem with life…even if it looks different from what we pictured.

In St. John’s account of the Resurrection Mary Magdalene, in her grief, does not recognize Jesus - until He speaks her name. Imagine yourself at “the tomb” of your grief, anxiety, anger, and all the emotions on your path of infertility or loss. Picture Jesus meeting you there, showing you His wounds and inviting you to place yours in them. Listen as Jesus calls you by name. Rest in this Garden with Him. Can you think of a time when you wanted to flee a situation and not face it? What about that situation made you want to flee? What made you stay?  What are ways you can be more like Mary Magdalene? How can you cultivate or plant the seeds of hope in your own gardens when all seems lost?  Describe a situation in which you had to be obedient similar to how Mary Magdalene was obedient in letting Jesus go when she at long last realized He was standing at her side by the tomb. Have you faced a situation in which you had to practice obedience in spite of preferring a different outcome? In retrospect, what helped you to behave in this way? What are some concrete ways to know Jesus has not left our side? Make a list of ways He reveals His presence to you during both the times of suffering and times of joy. Compare and contrast what you have observed.