Glass half empty or half full??

This morning, as I got ready to go to school, I was asked why I'm going there when it's summer and "I'm done".  I mulled over that misperception as I drove to UNCG and thought about all that I had done this summer but began to stress over all that I still have yet to get done....and also thought about how badly needed a support system is in order to get through this unique life circumstance (for me anyway).  

For as often as I wish I could call my parents and vent, there isn't enough time to do so and I would be on the phone with them for 3 days at a time if I were to try to unload everything on them.  There have been a few times I've tried sharing some of what I do (i.e., classwork, research projects, manuscript topics, etc.) with others, but when they begin to get that glazed look in their eyes, you know it's time to stop talking and it's taking time away from the work I need to be doing anyhow.  Even while taking the 20 minutes out of my day to type this blog, which I'm finding is a stress-reliever, I'm thinking how I should be working on an email to my advisor and should get back to working on the syllabus for the class I'm teaching this fall.  

My poor sister-in-law often gets stuck hearing about certain aspects of a project or my day if we happen to see each other late at night as we're passing through the kitchen on our way to bed.  When my little brother comes to visit, he often has to spend at least an hour of listening to me as I fill him in on the latest events.  My best friend gets an occasional email when I'm about to explode so she usually hears the end result of something.  It's funny to look back over the last 2 years and think of the different people who have entered and exited my life and have served as sounding boards and provided advice..where there has been no one particular individual, different friends and family members have served roles in aiding me in this process.  

When reflecting, I sometimes think that it would be nice to have one constant person to be the confidant in whom I'd share all the daily stressors and stories with but perhaps the reason there is not one right now is because I need to pull that from within me and focus on just pulling myself through it by my own bootstraps!  School/work are getting my 100% attention right now and as my close friends and family would probably tell you, that affects all other aspects of life in that I can't be 100% committed/engaged in other things without always having the looming projects/schoolwork in the background.  This has been a hard realization for me to come to since I'm an all or nothing type of gal and in the past have always put 100% of my everything into what ever it was that I was doing.  That might not be the healthiest way of doing something but it had always worked for me in the past.  It's been a HUGE adjustment to go from being meticulous and thorough in one thing to being spread out over multiple projects and just barely getting it all done...It's also why it still shocks me when people say things like, "Oh, you're on summer break and can relax now", "You aren't doing anything right now anyway since classes have ended", or "You finished that project so you're done with the work now"... 

Thank goodness for my peers who are going through some of the same so we can all relate to one another.  It makes me think of the show on MTV way back when..."You think you know, but you have no idea"...and I also can't wait for the next step when I've completed this part of my life and am on to the next phase of my career where difficult as it may seem to imagine, I might look back on this time in my life and say, "Wow, to think I thought I was busy then..!" 

When I sit down and put in black and white just what I've done and still have to do this summer, all 1.5 weeks remaining of it, I start to get anxious.  However, each day brings with it a new opportunity to do more and do better.  I just have to take it all one day at a time!!

DONE

*  Rough draft of my portfolio for Fall 2012 (just because the rough draft is done....this does not mean all the artifacts will be passed.  I'm sure that I will need to make revisions and resubmit portions of the portfolio.

*  Worked a summer job and babysat.

STILL NEED TO DO

- Prepare for the class I'm teaching this fall.

- Lit Review / IRB paperwork

- Dissertation and Pilot Study prep work

The last 2 are crucial if I'm going to stick to my timeline of graduating in 4 years...!!

IN PROGRESS

Ø  NLCSD manuscript

Ø  ASL study focus groups manuscript  

Ø  ASL study presentation at DEC conference in Minneapolis, MN in October 2012  

Ø  Itinerant study (submitted proposal to CEC in April 2013 in San Antonio, TX and working on manuscript)

Ø  Parent Mentor Support Network (California) project ,submitted proposal to AERA in April 2013 in San Francisco, CA, and working on a manuscript in Fall 2012

Ø  Early Numeracy Skills Builder study (submitted proposal to CEC in April 2013 in San Antonio, TX)

Ø  Starting a Reading study in Fall 2012

Ø  Possible journal analysis project of The Volta Review in Fall 2012

 

Ø  Manuscript Review in Fall 2012

What it all boils down to is there just is not enough time in the day!!!  Eeek!