First Dream

Last night was full of dreams.  It's been a while since we all got a peaceful night's worth of sleep.  Last night, I drifted off to sleep and was in and out of dreams the whole night.  I woke up three times throughout the night and early morning hours to find myself falling back into a different dream.

In the middle of one of them, I found myself perched between the driver's and front passenger seat as I searched for something or someone outside the front window.  This spot in the family van had been my older brother's when we would go on trips but all of us kids eventually found ourselves between our parents peering out the front window over the many trips and rides we took together.  So, when I found myself in this position, I was at once comforted by the familiarity of it even though I didn't know which vehicle I was in, didn't pay much attention to who was driving, and was unsure of whom or what I was looking for in the dream. 

Soon, we pulled up to an intersection, and there was my Dad driving his car on the opposite side of the intersection.  He didn't say a word, but simply waved, nodded, and pulled in front of us as whoever was driving followed him.  I slid back into my seat, relieved and at once relaxed.  I knew we were fine now that we were following Dad....then woke up almost with a smile on my face before the confusion set in and reality awakened me.

This scene in the dream has played out so many times.  Dad was always quick to direct or navigate us out of a wrong turn.  He was the fearless leader.  Quiet, confident, and always a step ahead of us, he forged ahead of our family for the last 44 years - - much like what he has done now.  He is the first in our immediate family to depart from us...and to do so during Easter Week just prior to Divine Mercy Sunday is really special.  There were times I did not deserve his mercy growing up yet he always freely gave it to us kids.  I am choosing to lean into the notion that Dad is leading the way and prepping our spots for when we join him at the end our own individual "trips" - - with each day we wake, we're one day closer to reuniting with him.  May eternal rest, grant until him, O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him.  May he rest in peace.  May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.  Amen.