Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way (part 8 of 30)

Saturday, 08/15/15:  10 weeks 5 days

We used the baby gift we received a few days ago to break the news to Aunt Marie, Uncle Bill, and Mikey tonight.  We laid the onesie and booties on the guest bed in the guest bedroom that will likely be turned into a nursery by March.  Then, during the tour (it was Mikey’s first time here and the first time Aunt Marie & Uncle Bill have been here since I moved in), we watched their faces as they spotted the onesie and booties on the bed.  Uncle Bill saw it first, then Aunt Marie realized, and I loved seeing Mikey grin as they all realized what we were telling them.  : )

This past week, the 10^th going on 11^th week, has been super exhausting.  It was my last full week of summer so maybe subconsciously my body was realizing that as of Wednesday night next week, life will change and it will be busy back to school time.  The lack of sleep at night and needing naps just to get through summer days has me wondering how I will handle teaching four classes, office hours, and all the other fun that comes with the job.  I just have to trust God will provide.  I am also fortunate to have very supportive women who all happen to be working mothers in my department.  My boss made it very clear when I shared the news with her that they would all support me so that’s very reassuring!! 

Tonight’s dinner and dessert was a smashing success!!!  Nearly everyone had seconds and raved about the main course which was BBQ sloppy joes.  After walking around campus and showing my family my new office we returned to the house to eat dessert which was Adam’s chocolate mousse pie (with a baked crust..hehe).  The food was so good that several hours later, after taking my vitamin/Claritin I had leftovers of both the dinner and dessert.  A short while later I paid for it by being in the bathroom for a long time.  So lesson learned:  no food at night after the vitamin/medicine as it upsets my stomach.  If this is what morning sickness feels like, I’m glad it has been happening at night for me instead.  It’s easier to deal with it knowing I can try to sleep it off by going to bed!

Tuesday, August 18, 2015:  11 weeks 1 day

Speaking of food in the earlier post, this is the week of crazy food combinations.  I just ate a plate of Nilla wafers topped with melted cheddar cheese but it was actually pretty good!  The sweet taste of the cookies contrasted sharply with the mild cheddar but I don’t think I’ll be giving up my nachos any time soon.  Haha!

Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way (part 7 of 30)

Today is the feast of the Holy Family.  This also happens to be the name of the elementary school my brothers and I attended as children and is the name of the church Adam and I currently attend.  It will be where our first child is baptized.  From the start of Adam's and my relationship, the holy family has been a huge part of our lives.  We have a beautiful figurine of the family in our basement above our fireplace and it was soothing to see the exact same statue in Fr. Jack's office up in Boston last spring as we wrapped up our Pre-Cana counseling with him.  Needless to say, the holy family holds a special place in our hearts and I'm looking forward to attending mass tonight at a church Adam used to attend and one we haven't been to since Lent 2014 for our last mass in California during this trip.  I recently stumbled upon this serene and beautiful image of the holy family in a tender embrace and wonder if Adam and I, too, will have a son?  We will soon know as the due date is a mere 71 days away from today....!!! Below is a reflection from early on in Month 3 right before the fall semester started and I returned to work full time from being off in the summer.  Happy reading!

Friday, 8/14/15

Last night, we had a friend over for dinner.  We had a lovely conversation that didn’t end until close to midnight in spite of it being a work night!!  Throughout our conversation, it slipped that we were expecting and it was really exciting to share the news with Katy.  She was excited and moved to tears upon hearing the news which made me teary too!  It’s such a blessing to have family and friends who are so excited and happy for us and to have so many folks praying for the little one.

This morning when emailing with Monika about some of my worries, I had a bit of a revelation.  In a way we're really being spoiled since we get to see the baby so much with all these ultrasounds!!  It will make it hard in the future if we aren't high risk and "only" have two ultrasounds total..haha!  I guess if I had to choose, I would rather start out high risk than to have a normal pregnancy followed by high risk if that makes sense? 

Last night was very rough as I've not been able to sleep at all and the coughing I’m experiencing is way worse.  I started with the Claritin a few nights ago so that helps with the congestion but the coughing is really bad, especially when laying down; I used my inhaler for the first time since last year around 3am which helped some.  I don't know how I'm going to handle going back to school if this is how tired I am now.  How do people do this especially with having other children to tend to as well?!  LOL!!!

The baby also received his or her first gift!  Adam’s sister and family sent us this adorable package in the mail.  I can’t wait to put the little booties on the sweet baby and snuggle him or her!

Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way (part 6 of 30)

Here are more reflections from the journey as Adam and I continue to discover more of our favorite gift!  I hope you all are enjoying the season and today with loved ones near and far and Merry Christmas to all!!

Tuesday, 08/11/15:  10 weeks 1 day

We just had our second ultrasound appointment and we walked out of the doctor’s appointment experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. 

The first part of the appointment was beautiful.  We heard the baby’s heartbeat (still going strong at 170 beats per minute!) and learned that the baby’s measurements are right on target.  We also were in for a real treat!!  Halfway through, literally after I asked Melinda, our sonogram technician person, if the baby moves much, her reply of, “Yeah, they don’t move much at this point.  You start to get more activity when the baby is about a pound” was immediately followed by the baby moving right before our very own eyes!!  First, it looked like it was snuggling and curling into a ball.  My first thought was, “Aww, it looks just like how Dusty and Hershey look when they snuggle and cuddle”---guess that is how you know you are truly a dog person…when you compare your unborn child to your furbabies.  Hehe.  Then, incredibly, the baby looked like it was swimming when the little hands started to move followed by his or her feet looking like he/she was pedaling a bicycle…!!!!  THEN it flipped over to our amazement.  Melinda was even surprised.  I joked that the baby had heard her and wanted to put on a show for us pound or no pound!  It was amazingly beautiful yet bittersweet because it made me think of how we’re only 10 weeks and one day along while abortion can happen upwards of 22 weeks.  It was a beautiful moment because of what we were witnessing on the screen before us even though I couldn’t feel a thing inside me yet was so incredibly sad to think of how babies twice as old as ours are legally allowed to be aborted and can no longer safely nestle or flip inside their mothers’ wombs.  I was overcome by the sudden desire to physically hold the baby in my arms but now is not the time for that.  For now I will just mentally wrap my arms around this child who is loved so much already.

Seeing this picture reminds me of how precious life is.  Today, on Christmas morning, I can't help but reflect on how life, in all forms, is truly the most miraculous gift of all.  My prayer this morning is for all those suffering from abortion, miscarriages, end of life issues, infertility, abuse, neglect, and other hardships and trials.  May the peace and joy from Christmas and Jesus restore those who are in the midst of suffering.  Amen!

The next portion of the appointment was the in-take interview where we answered questions about our individual and family histories.  We were also given a goodie bag with information on classes, what to bring to the hospital, contact information, and a lot of other things that were too overwhelming to process right now.  Something I learned during this portion of our appointment was that pregnancy is actually longer than 9 months which means trimesters are not exactly 12 weeks or 3 months like I had thought all this time.  We actually won’t enter the 2^nd trimester until week 14 which is another calendar month from now.  Guess we are going to be keeping this news quiet for longer than I had anticipated since I want to wait until we’re well into the 2^nd trimester to announce the news.  I know that the baby can be lost at any point but the chances of miscarriage occurring go down significantly after the first trimester so in a way it’s kind of like I won’t breathe easier until we’re well into the 2^nd trimester and then will perhaps feel confident enough to share with others outside our families at that time. 

The last portion of the appointment this morning was the most anxiety-provoking.  We met a different doctor than last time since the policy is to rotate through all the doctors since we will never know who is on call when delivery time arrives and the practice wants the doctors to be familiar with the patients and vice versa.  This policy makes sense but considering there are two male doctors on staff, this thought does make me a bit anxious considering I’ve only gone to female gynecologists in the past.  Oh well, as I said to Adam on the way home, I suppose on the baby’s actual birthday, I won’t care who is in that room with us as long as the baby is taken care of right?  Anyhow, our new (to us) doctor came in and immediately got down to business.  She wasted no time in telling us how serious our pregnancy is being in the high risk category due to advanced maternal age and the fibroids.  She explained one fibroid in particular could be cause for premature delivery and/or C-section.  She also talked about risks associated with advanced maternal age and how the next appointment will involve bloodwork to see if the baby has Down syndrome and/or other issues.  She mentioned options, including termination, pending results of that test and another blood test to see about spina bifida, etc. later on in the pregnancy.  I immediately shook my head no and she steered clear from talk of termination from that point on and said chances are 1 in 270 babies born to mothers who are of advanced maternal age are born with Down syndrome.  She made the analogy of playing the lottery with chances like that but I didn’t quite understand the comparison?  So more bloodwork next time (August 25^th – 2 weeks from today when classes first start but I don’t teach on Tuesdays) as well as a pap smear and tests for STDs.  Hopefully I will have the other female doctor at that appointment!

The doctor also said that due to our insurance we may not be able to see the folks at Magee but may have to instead go to Wheeling or a different hospital in Pittsburgh (ugh, can you imagine being in labor and worrying about traffic/getting in and out of Pittsburgh?!).  Again, not the news we wanted to hear considering we live one traffic light away from the hospital here.  Of course, all this is hypothetical if something should happen and/or the Magee experts say that the service provided here is not enough due to the fibroids/advanced maternal age.  Some other scary news was that there could be premature delivery or the fibroid could grow and create an obstruction to the birth canal for the baby and a C-section would be needed.  The good news is that the fibroid of concern did not grow since the last ultrasound on July 30th but apparently pregnancy can cause fibroids to grow so we're not in the clear just yet.  I am hoping that the doctor was just being super frank and to the point but it is still worrisome.  I am so paranoid we will lose the baby or worse based on so many others’ experiences but know that each person is different and as with anything else, no matter what have to try to lean in on God and trust more.  That is what St. Clare did (her feast day is today) so am trying to be more like her in light of this news from this morning. 

I also got the go ahead to take the Claritin to try to clear up these pesky allergies or cold I’ve been fighting the last two weeks.  I plan to start taking the prenatal vitamins at night tonight to try to help with the upset stomach/bathroom issues I had been experiencing in the morning when taking the vitamins.  For now, it’s a waiting game until the next ultrasound appointment in two weeks.  Yay for getting to see the baby "live" again so soon!!  =)  We also found out today in a typical routine pregnancy, only two ultrasounds occur and you are billed for the others.  Fortunately though, if there is a medical reason as to why more are needed then insurance will pay for more.  We also found out that a vaginal delivery costs $2900 and a C-section $3700 so we better start pinching those pennies now!  That’s it for now…in the meantime, I’m going to keep thinking about how this morning we saw the little one doing tricks for us on the screen...what a gift!!

Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way (part 5 of 30)

Monday, 08/10/15 (Penned in Adoration in beginning of Month 3)

On Sunday morning after mass this past weekend, on a whim as Adam and I were leaving church, when I noticed we were first in line to greet Msgr. Gerry I shared with him our news and asked him to give us a blessing.  He was overjoyed and obliged.  I wish I could remember what he said but recall in the moment, feeling very peaceful in our little huddle with Adam, Father, the baby, and myself.

Tomorrow morning we go for our next ultrasound and in-take interview appointment at the doctor’s office.  I hope it is a smooth appointment and there are no issues although I know with my family history we have a lot of medical issues to contend with…but worrying is not going to solve anything so I will have faith that all will be okay.

This past weekend, we also broke the news via email to my matron of honor, Heather.  She was excited and commented, “That didn’t take long!” and shared some advice based on her past experiences with me.  I confided in her the difficulties with allergies/or is it a cold that I’ve been having….who knows?!  I bought some Claritin last week but when I read the label warning pregnant women to consult with a physician, I opted to not start taking the medication until I speak with the doctor tomorrow morning.  I also think I may switch to taking the prenatal vitamins to nighttime due to upset stomach/bathroom issues I seem to be having from taking them first thing in the morning.  Also, once school starts, I won’t be able to wait a whole hour to eat after taking the pills and hopefully by taking them at night it will help me to stop eating so late at night since the pills are to be taken two hours after a meal. 

I noticed this evening that I have gained around 15 lbs. since February…eek!  The doc said it is ideal to only gain 15 lbs. during pregnancy.  With my track record if I gained 15 lbs. in the last six months, and can only gain 15 in the next 7 months…that’s not good!  I want to be healthier for the baby.  So, that’s it…with the start of the school year, I will be back on a routine, we will hopefully eat out less, and I’ll hopefully have more energy to stay on track with the grocery buying/meal planning and not eat so late at night.  The irony is not lost on me that I’m going to try to get back into a more healthy routine rather than the carefree summer of eating whatever whenever with little exercise gig I have been doing for the last six weeks as theoretically I should be getting bigger as the baby grows.  A friend from work, Katy, who lives in our neighborhood and I plan to walk together on a regular basis once the semester starts so I’m excited about that too.  An added bonus is that the weather will be cooling off because during those extremely hot days we faced in July I could barely tolerate walking to the bottom of our driveway let alone tackling our hilly neighborhood streets. 

Since I never weigh myself (I didn't even own a scale prior to the wedding), the constant weighing and talk about my changing weight at various appointments has been taking a bit of a toll and we're still so early on in the pregnancy.  I need to keep in mind that it is not personal in the sense of my gaining weight due to being lazy or not trying but that I need to slow down and it's for the baby....yet it's hard!   Here's to trying to be healthy, maintaining a positive body image amidst all these changes, and doing the best I can no matter what for baby!!

Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way (part 4 of 30)

Friday, 08/07/15 – the beginning of Month 3

Yesterday I shared how we spilled the beans with our family members.  I forgot to share how we told my parents in that post though.  They had come in for a quick overnight trip in late July staying with us after my Mom’s high school reunion and departing the next day.  During their brief visit to Ohio, we tied in the news with the pups (of course and since this was when they first met little Hershey) by telling them about the generous wedding gift of the resort stay that we were hoping to book in summer 2016 as an anniversary trip but that we would need help with the pups…and possibly a baby by then.  They were shocked and surprised then overjoyed to hear the news.  This was before we had confirmation from the doctor at our initial appointment so we asked them to keep the news quiet until we knew for sure and would let them know as we told each family member.  They knew we planned to tell Adam's parents as soon as we could get the Skype call scheduled.  It’s amazing how fast time flies now that said trip to resort is complete (as it turned into a babymoon rather than an anniversary trip).

Seven months from today is the due date.  With the arrival of each dawn, the sense of anticipation and hope grows.  It’s amazing how one’s perspective on life can change in such a short time due to pregnancy.  Everything is done through the lens of, “What about the baby?” such as, when walking at the airport and having to walk by smokers lounging around the exit doors, hustling by because of not wanting the baby to breathe the smoke or when carrying a heavy box or moving a heavy shelf in my office wondering if it is applying too much pressure to my stomach and the baby.  When going through the drive-thru at Arby’s, I never thought twice about ordering my beloved Jamocha milkshake but now am thankful the milkshake machine was down the other evening because it prevented me from accidentally drinking coffee in a milkshake format.  Oops!

With the arrival of the third month (we just hit the 9 week mark yesterday), smells are starting to get to me.  I can’t stand the aroma of ravioli cooking (sorry Adam), detest the Bath and Body Works’ scent of “Secret Wonderland” (since when?!), smell of croutons (?!), and the new puppy is causing my allergies to flare up (bring on the Claritin).  Since these things didn’t bother me before, I wonder if they will eventually subside later in the pregnancy or after the baby’s arrival?  I also have been feeling queasy in the mornings but fortunately, have not been sick (yet?).  I still don’t want to eat much but I keep remembering the doctor’s words at our initial appointment in late July, “Don’t worry; that’ll change!”

I love this photo as so much emotion is captured in it!

What has been helpful in the mornings has been to go back to bed and to try to sleep off the queasiness but with only having a couple weeks of summer left, I wonder how I will manage when school starts up again?  Maybe I will have to start taking the vitamins at night instead of in the morning in case the vitamins are causing some of the queasiness.  I’m also feeling crampy and “backed up” a lot meaning more time is spent in the bathroom.  Oh joy!  In spite of all these changes, we’re still really excited and hopeful.  I saw another young woman at the store yesterday who had a little baby bump and was thisclose to introducing myself to her.  It would have been nice to have a local friend who is also going through these new experiences but I was too shy and refrained from introducing myself especially since I am not showing or anything just yet. 

Something else I discovered about our due date this morning was that I was offered the job here on March 7, 2014, while standing in the parking lot of a restaurant we were headed to for lunch in California.  Then, on March 7, 2015, was the bridal shower in Pennsylvania in anticipation of the upcoming wedding.  Now, coming up on this March 7, 2016, we wonder if this will be the day we will meet our precious little one!  Something else that happened this past week is that friends from NC started congratulating us on the baby….!  We were shocked to find out that the news had started spreading already in spite of our request to keep the news quiet.  Sooo, an email was sent out asking for privacy since we are so early on and we are waiting until Month 4 or 5 to break the news.  Here’s to hoping that the request for privacy is respected this time around and that we will still have news to share come mid-September or October!