Ooh, Baby I Love Your Way (part 6 of 30)

Here are more reflections from the journey as Adam and I continue to discover more of our favorite gift!  I hope you all are enjoying the season and today with loved ones near and far and Merry Christmas to all!!

Tuesday, 08/11/15:  10 weeks 1 day

We just had our second ultrasound appointment and we walked out of the doctor’s appointment experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. 

The first part of the appointment was beautiful.  We heard the baby’s heartbeat (still going strong at 170 beats per minute!) and learned that the baby’s measurements are right on target.  We also were in for a real treat!!  Halfway through, literally after I asked Melinda, our sonogram technician person, if the baby moves much, her reply of, “Yeah, they don’t move much at this point.  You start to get more activity when the baby is about a pound” was immediately followed by the baby moving right before our very own eyes!!  First, it looked like it was snuggling and curling into a ball.  My first thought was, “Aww, it looks just like how Dusty and Hershey look when they snuggle and cuddle”---guess that is how you know you are truly a dog person…when you compare your unborn child to your furbabies.  Hehe.  Then, incredibly, the baby looked like it was swimming when the little hands started to move followed by his or her feet looking like he/she was pedaling a bicycle…!!!!  THEN it flipped over to our amazement.  Melinda was even surprised.  I joked that the baby had heard her and wanted to put on a show for us pound or no pound!  It was amazingly beautiful yet bittersweet because it made me think of how we’re only 10 weeks and one day along while abortion can happen upwards of 22 weeks.  It was a beautiful moment because of what we were witnessing on the screen before us even though I couldn’t feel a thing inside me yet was so incredibly sad to think of how babies twice as old as ours are legally allowed to be aborted and can no longer safely nestle or flip inside their mothers’ wombs.  I was overcome by the sudden desire to physically hold the baby in my arms but now is not the time for that.  For now I will just mentally wrap my arms around this child who is loved so much already.

Seeing this picture reminds me of how precious life is.  Today, on Christmas morning, I can't help but reflect on how life, in all forms, is truly the most miraculous gift of all.  My prayer this morning is for all those suffering from abortion, miscarriages, end of life issues, infertility, abuse, neglect, and other hardships and trials.  May the peace and joy from Christmas and Jesus restore those who are in the midst of suffering.  Amen!

The next portion of the appointment was the in-take interview where we answered questions about our individual and family histories.  We were also given a goodie bag with information on classes, what to bring to the hospital, contact information, and a lot of other things that were too overwhelming to process right now.  Something I learned during this portion of our appointment was that pregnancy is actually longer than 9 months which means trimesters are not exactly 12 weeks or 3 months like I had thought all this time.  We actually won’t enter the 2^nd trimester until week 14 which is another calendar month from now.  Guess we are going to be keeping this news quiet for longer than I had anticipated since I want to wait until we’re well into the 2^nd trimester to announce the news.  I know that the baby can be lost at any point but the chances of miscarriage occurring go down significantly after the first trimester so in a way it’s kind of like I won’t breathe easier until we’re well into the 2^nd trimester and then will perhaps feel confident enough to share with others outside our families at that time. 

The last portion of the appointment this morning was the most anxiety-provoking.  We met a different doctor than last time since the policy is to rotate through all the doctors since we will never know who is on call when delivery time arrives and the practice wants the doctors to be familiar with the patients and vice versa.  This policy makes sense but considering there are two male doctors on staff, this thought does make me a bit anxious considering I’ve only gone to female gynecologists in the past.  Oh well, as I said to Adam on the way home, I suppose on the baby’s actual birthday, I won’t care who is in that room with us as long as the baby is taken care of right?  Anyhow, our new (to us) doctor came in and immediately got down to business.  She wasted no time in telling us how serious our pregnancy is being in the high risk category due to advanced maternal age and the fibroids.  She explained one fibroid in particular could be cause for premature delivery and/or C-section.  She also talked about risks associated with advanced maternal age and how the next appointment will involve bloodwork to see if the baby has Down syndrome and/or other issues.  She mentioned options, including termination, pending results of that test and another blood test to see about spina bifida, etc. later on in the pregnancy.  I immediately shook my head no and she steered clear from talk of termination from that point on and said chances are 1 in 270 babies born to mothers who are of advanced maternal age are born with Down syndrome.  She made the analogy of playing the lottery with chances like that but I didn’t quite understand the comparison?  So more bloodwork next time (August 25^th – 2 weeks from today when classes first start but I don’t teach on Tuesdays) as well as a pap smear and tests for STDs.  Hopefully I will have the other female doctor at that appointment!

The doctor also said that due to our insurance we may not be able to see the folks at Magee but may have to instead go to Wheeling or a different hospital in Pittsburgh (ugh, can you imagine being in labor and worrying about traffic/getting in and out of Pittsburgh?!).  Again, not the news we wanted to hear considering we live one traffic light away from the hospital here.  Of course, all this is hypothetical if something should happen and/or the Magee experts say that the service provided here is not enough due to the fibroids/advanced maternal age.  Some other scary news was that there could be premature delivery or the fibroid could grow and create an obstruction to the birth canal for the baby and a C-section would be needed.  The good news is that the fibroid of concern did not grow since the last ultrasound on July 30th but apparently pregnancy can cause fibroids to grow so we're not in the clear just yet.  I am hoping that the doctor was just being super frank and to the point but it is still worrisome.  I am so paranoid we will lose the baby or worse based on so many others’ experiences but know that each person is different and as with anything else, no matter what have to try to lean in on God and trust more.  That is what St. Clare did (her feast day is today) so am trying to be more like her in light of this news from this morning. 

I also got the go ahead to take the Claritin to try to clear up these pesky allergies or cold I’ve been fighting the last two weeks.  I plan to start taking the prenatal vitamins at night tonight to try to help with the upset stomach/bathroom issues I had been experiencing in the morning when taking the vitamins.  For now, it’s a waiting game until the next ultrasound appointment in two weeks.  Yay for getting to see the baby "live" again so soon!!  =)  We also found out today in a typical routine pregnancy, only two ultrasounds occur and you are billed for the others.  Fortunately though, if there is a medical reason as to why more are needed then insurance will pay for more.  We also found out that a vaginal delivery costs $2900 and a C-section $3700 so we better start pinching those pennies now!  That’s it for now…in the meantime, I’m going to keep thinking about how this morning we saw the little one doing tricks for us on the screen...what a gift!!