Sunday, February 10, 2013

Not all is lost...!

The past couple weeks have been really trying for me, physically and emotionally.  At this very moment, I feel as if I'm in a deep abyss trying to twist, climb, and crawl my way out of the void even if it means keeping folks out or at bay to avoid further hurt.  No one event or person is responsible for the feelings I am experiencing right now as it is a culmination of many different thing that have pushed me over the edge so to speak.  I know we all have our ups and downs and that I just happen to be in the down cycle but alas, what goes down must go up again....and the sooner the better b/c I don't like it down here at all.

From feeling like I can't measure up to standing at a crossroads and not being sure of which direction to take, life has just been extremely overwhelming as of late.  An interesting occurrence happened on Friday that helped to put things back into perspective.  After receiving not so good news at work on Thursday night, I hauled myself into work early on Friday when I'm not usually on campus to get paperwork revised and resubmitted.

After having rushed all day as well as dealt with personal issues on the side, I was an exhausted Meg by the time I found myself at the car shop for a 3pm oil change appointment.  After checking in at the desk, I lugged my two bags with me into the waiting area and plopped myself down into the oversized chair with a huge sigh.  As I did so, the man sitting in the chair next to me glanced over and said, "Beautiful day eh?"

I glanced out the window and for the first time, took note of the sunshine and fact that it wasn't raining or snowing and said, "Yeah, it is!"  From there, we proceeded to talk for 40 minutes off and on.  Never mind the fact that I had 2 bags worth of work to do.  Or that I hadn't put on any makeup or bothered to do my hair that morning.  Or that I was wearing nondescript jeans, flats, my glasses, and a Ravens tshirt.  Nope....I wasn't dressed to impress but the tall, chatty, cute guy was impressed by me nonetheless as we carried on a conversation.  It ended with a "Can I call you?" and my giving him my card (that had my # on it).  He called my phone then promptly saved his name and number into mine.  Yes, he was smooth, very smooth.  That should have been my red flag.....his smoothness.

As he left the car place, saying bye, how glad he was to have met me, and that he would call very soon, I felt excitement.  I texted my little brother telling him about this friendly dude who just talked travel, football, and education with me in the waiting area of a car shop of all places.  By the time I got home an hour and a half later, I was certain that I would be possibly going on a date with this guy in the near future and decided to look him up on Facebook.  It was then that I was knocked down again....into the disappointing void.  Turns our Mr. Charming is a new daddy to a 2 month old daughter and while his page says single, the baby's mother's page says she's in a relationship with him.....certainly not any drama I need to get mixed up with...which leads me to why bother going through the charming charades at the car place?

Whatever the reason, I sure hope this father changes his tune and starts treating women with the respect they deserve....that his little girl deserves.  I hope he will be able to show her one day how to treat a woman with respect, all women, through his interactions with them...to not be a smooth talking charmer just because he can.

So, I'm back to still struggling with the problems I had before 3pm yesterday, still facing the personal issues on the side that I tried to resolve on Friday, and the two bags of work that didn't get worked on while at the car shop.  But hey, at least I know that some guys (players or not) still think I'm worth putting the moves on eh?  I also can't help but chuckle at how God is dramatically clearing the path for my future spouse through incidents such as these.  Or if there is no spouse, is at least clearing the path so that I don't have to deal with such nonsense.  Good riddance to Mr. Charmer!


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).

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